


Secret Desires

by oppach



Category: Kpop - Fandom
Genre: ABDL, Age Play, Diapers, Explicit Sexual Content, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, M/M, Secrets, Self-Discovery
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-17
Updated: 2018-03-20
Packaged: 2018-09-25 04:52:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 42
Words: 45,193
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9803357
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oppach/pseuds/oppach
Summary: A homosexual DL(diaper lover) story that will  contain AB(adult baby) elements and gay sex(hooray!).Ryeowook and Chansung are best friends and neighbors. Ryeowook has a secret he's kept hidden for years--an obsession that makes him berate himself for being a sick freak.But then, driving home from college to attend Chansung's  birthday celebration, Ryeowook's car is smashed by the vehicle of a driver who was distracted by texts on their phone.Ryeowook wakes up in the hospital, injured but okay.And then an idea forms. A dangerous idea but a very tempting one. Can he finally get a taste of what he's been craving without fear of rejection and disgust?





	1. Chapter 1

Ryeowook:

I don't remember the first time I met Chansung because I was one year old at the time. My parents were each the only child of their family. I think it must have been pretty lonely for them. I know it would have been lonely for me if it weren't for Chansung. 

Our families lived next door to each other our entire lives. His parents became the siblings my parents had always wanted. There wasn't a moment we became best friends, we just always were. It was the most natural thing ever.

He played sports--football, soccer, baseball, hockey. I was a better student than him. Our friends tolerated each other, but they were very different--jocks and nerds, you know? 

I turned eighteen and headed off to college. He was not happy because I was living in an apartment off campus and thus only saw me on weekends and breaks. I'd be lying if I said I didn't miss him, also. College was great and I loved it. My parents were supportive and awesome. My best friend was the coolest in all ways. My girlfriend was beautiful and we'd been dating for almost a year.

But I wasn't completely happy. There was something missing.

Something I could never confess to another living soul.

A desire bordering on need that I could never hope to fulfill.


	2. two

Chansung's heart seized. He forgot to breathe.

Accident? Ryeowook was in the hospital? 

Chansung's excitement over his birthday celebration completely disappeared. He wasn't even sure how old he was at the moment.

Ryeowook remembered driving his car. He remembered the full size red pick up truck coming at him. He remembered the panic he felt as he wrenched the steering wheel in an attempt to save himself. He didn't remember anything after that.

When he opened his eyes, he slowly came to realize that he'd been dreaming. He felt shame and a tinge of anxiety at the contents of said dream. He'd been sleeping at home when Chansung snuck in and surprised him, laughing as he yanked the covers off his friend.

But then the dream bordered on a nightmare as both friends froze. In pulling the covers away, Chansung had uncovered Ryeowook's diaper. 

Yes, diaper.

Thankfully it had just been a dream. A huge relief. That situation must never happen. Nobody could ever know that Ryeowook actually wanted to wear a diaper. He cringed at the very thought.

"Ryeowook?"

The man in the hospital bed turned toward the sound of the voice. Chansung.

"Ryeowook!" This time it was Ryeowook's mom.

Why? 

And then he realized--the car accident hadn't been a part of the dream. His mom was holding onto one of his hands. Chansung was holding the other. His father's face was full of worry.

"Ryeowook." Chansung's voice echoed the same worry. "Say something."

Ryeowook looked from Chansung to his parents again.

"You were in a car accident, hon." His mother explained. "You're okay. You're going to be okay."

"I'll get the doctor." His father said, quickly leaving to do just that.

"Not cool to make your mom worry like that." Chansung said in a lame attempt to joke.

They sat in silence until the doctor entered the room along with Ryeowook's father.

"Ryeowook," The doctor began as she stepped into the room. "How are you feeling? Are you in pain?" She immediately checked his vitals and shined her little flashlight into each eye in turn. "Ryeowook?"

He'd been in a car accident. Okay. So waht was up with the intense worry from his parents and best friend? He wiggled his toes and fingers. Yup, all worked and all were still there.

"Ryeowook," The doctor held up a finger. "Follow my finger with your eyes."

Maybe he had a concussion? How long had he been out? His stomach suddenly growled loudly.

"Hungry?" Chansung chuckled, pleased with the normalcy. 

"What's wrong?" Ryeowook's mother sounded concerned when her son failed to follow the doctor's command.

"Would you like something to eat?" The doctor asked.

Ryeowook looked to his best friend. What would Chansung think if he knew? Would it end their friendship? Surely his lifelong friend would accept him. Right? What if....no, that wouldn't work out. Or would it?

"His tests were all normal. He has a concussion, so it's possible he's just a little confused right now." The doctor assured Ryeowook's parents. "He needs some rest. Let's see if we can get some fluids in him."

Ryeowook started to sweat as he came closer to putting his crazy plan into action--the one that had occurred to him moments earlier. Could he really do it? How long would he fake it? What if someone found out? Ryeowook knew that as supportive and loving as his parents were, this was something they wouldn't be able to understand or accept. Chansung was his only chance.

"Rest?" His mother asked. "He's been asleep for two days."

"Just give it time."

Soon enough, someone brought in a tray with a mug of broth, a cup of water, and a napkin. The tray table was pulled over and put in front of Ryeowook as the bed was adjusted to put him into a mostly sitting position.

They waited for Ryeowook to pick up the mug. He didn't. His mother reached over and put his hand on the mug. He didn't lift it. His mother lifted the mug to his lips, both her hands around his. He didn't drink.

"He's okay now. Why don't you go take a break?" Ryeowook's father said gently to his wife.

"Why don't you both do that?" Chansung suggested. 

Ryeowook squeezed his friend's hand, grateful.

"Is that okay?" His mother asked.

Ryeowook gave a small nod. His mother carefully hugged him, kissing the top of his head, his father coaxing her out of the room. Chansung gently turned Ryeowook's face his way, meeting his gaze.

"Thanks for waking up. I hope you enjoyed your nap."

That grin was more than Ryeowook could take. He ended up giggling. Chansung's grin got even bigger with the sound.

"No more laughing till you drink something." Chansung scolded playfully.

The moment of no return--maybe. Ryeowook told himself no one would ever know why he was doing any of this. He could always change later and claim he didn't remember any of it--head injury and all that. He steadied his nerves and pulled courage out of everything he possessed. 

"No."

"No, what?" Chansung was confused.

"You." Ryeowook pushed the mug towards his friend.

"It's not for me. It's yours."

Ryeowook folded his arms defiantly. Chansung took a sip of the broth.

"Mmm. Tastes fine to me!" He held the mug to his friend's lips.

Ryeowook parted his lips and Chansung tipped the vessel, allowing Ryeowook to drink hands free. Ryeowook hadn't realized how truly thirsty and hungry he was until that moment. He quickly finished the broth.

"See? Not so bad, right?" Chansung smiled.

"Water." Ryeowook demanded.

Chansung raised an eyebrow, but picked up the cup of water. When his friend made no move to take possession of it, he held it to the man's lips as he had the mug. Ryeowook drank the water, enjoying every drop. He suddenly felt very sleepy. Must have been from the concussion.

"A bit messy." Chansung chuckled, wiping Ryeowook's chin with a napkin.

That's when Ryeowook realized that he hadn't even though of his girlfriend. Would she accept this side of him? Why did he feel much more positive about the chances of Chansung accepting it?

Chansung sent a text to his friend's parents letting them know of Ryeowook's intake of fluids. Someone came in for the tray when the nurse came back into the room.

"Excellent!" She praised Ryeowook for the empty cups. "Let's get that catheter out and get you to the toilet, okay?"

"I'll wait outside." Chansung told his friend, standing.

Ryeowook reached out and grabbed his friend's arm.

"No."

Chansung looked at him, surprised but nodded, sitting back down. 


	3. three

Chansung stayed, as Ryeowook wanted, but he turned away while the nurse removed the catheter. 

"All done." The nurse said cheerfully, before gathering every thing up to dispose of. "Do you want your friend to help you to the toilet? Is that okay?"

Ryeowook looked to Chansung, as did the nurse.

"Uh, if that's what you want." Chansung said to his friend, feeling out of his element but wanting to do whatever it took to help his friend get better.

Ryeowook reached toward Chansung and the taller man helped him stand. Ryeowook was a little shaky on his feet at first, but the short trip to the bathroom wasn't physically difficult. In the tiny room, Chansung stood by in case Ryeowook fell off the seat, but then stepped outside the door and waited.

Ryeowook, while his best friend was waiting on the other side of the door, was having a personal dilemma. Should he relieve himself now in the toilet or save it for his plan? Could he really carry on this way? Could he really do it? He decided to use the toilet for now, though he called himself a coward in the process.

Chansung opened the door when he heard the knock. He found Ryeowook standing at the sink, washing his hands. He was encouraged, but stepped close to the other man just to be safe. Ryeowook finished rinsing his hands and turned to his best friend. Maybe he should continue to put his plan into action thru small steps. 

Chansung waited for his friend to turn the water off and dry his hands. Ryeowook made no move to do either. Chansung sighed and turned the water off, grabbing a few paper towels from the dispenser after that. Why had Ryeowook been able to wash his hands but not dry them? 

Ryeowook watched Chansung wipe the water off his wet hands and throw the paper towels away. The taller man held Ryeowook's elbow and steered him back toward the bed. Ryeowook climbed into bed and got comfortable, sleepiness overtaking him again. He closed his eyes and slipped into a peaceful sleep.

When Ryeowook woke up, Chansung was gone. That was disappointing. However, his girlfriend was there. He found that both anxiety inducing and comforting. How was she going to react? 

"Ryeowook." Her soft voice washed over him. She stood and planted a kiss on his forehead. "How are you feeling?"

Ryeowook's throat was so dry. He looked around the room in search of something to drink. His gaze landed on a bottle of water next to a tray of food. Not getting an answer to her query, Ryeowook's girlfriend followed his eyes to the food. 

"You want to eat now?" She asked kindly, wheeling the tray table into place. 

Ryeowook was downright nervous now. How was she going to take this? After a moment waiting in silence and inaction, the young woman took the lid off the food. 

"Looks decent." She smiled. "You should eat, hon."

Ryeowook looked to her expectantly. Would she feed him? His stomach flip flopped in anticipation. He was equally thrilled and terrified. 

"Ryeowook?" She was confused, pushing a fork towards her boyfriend. "You don't like it? I can go get something else. You want a burger?"

Again, he made no response but looking at the food before him. 

"Please?" She pleaded. "Please eat something, honey." She speared a green bean with the fork and held it out to him, desperate to get him to partake.

Ryeowook leaned forward and ate the vegetable. Encouraged, his girlfriend held the fork out to him. Again, he refused to take it. 

"Honey, please." She was flustered, unsure of why he was behaving this way. She picked up a couple more pieces of the green vegetable and held the fork. 

Again, Ryeowook ate the food from the utensil. A tear spilled from the beautiful woman's eye. Ryeowook felt a little guilty. He hadn't meant to upset her. 

"It's okay, honey." She told him, getting another bite of food for him. "As long as you're eating, that's important."

It didn't take long for the hungry man to devour the meal, though it would have been much quicker if he hadn't conned his girlfriend into feeding it to him. 

"Oh! I'm sorry. You probably need a drink, right?" She removed the cap from the water bottle and held it out to him. 

Of course he wasn't going to take it. He had held out this long, he wasn't turning back now, despite her hope that he would. She sighed again and held the mouth of the bottle to his lips, tilting it. Ryeowook drank greedily, the cool liquid quenching his thirst. When he'd had his fill, he stopped drinking and the water spilled onto his chest.

"Oh! I'm sorry!" She gushed, putting the bottle down.

Ryeowook found himself sleepy yet again. He hoped this persistent grogginess would go away soon. He wiggled a bit, getting comfortable, and closed his eyes. 


	4. four

Chansung met a woman outside Ryeowook's hospital room. It took him a moment to realize who it was--Ryeowook's girlfriend that he met at college.

"Hi." He greeted. "You're Ga In, right? I recognize you from pictures."

She shook the hand he offered. "And you are?"

"Chansung!" He grinned at her, sure Ryeowook had told her about him.

"Oh!" She nodded. "It's nice to finally meet you. I just wish this wasn't the way..."

"Me too." Chansung agreed. "How is he?"

"I--I don't know." Her voice broke. 

Chansung rested a comforting hand on her shoulder. "He's going to be okay. The doctor told us."

"Then why," Her voice caught again. "Why isn't he talking?"

"He said a few words to me, earlier. Maybe his throat hurts or maybe he's a little confused."

"He couldn't even eat by himself, Changsung." She ended up giving in to her tears. 

Changsung's instincts took over and he hugged her gently. 

"It's okay. He'll be okay."

 

The next time Ryeowook opened his eyes, Chansung and Ga In were both there. He smiled at the sight and they both smiled back.

"Hey, honey." Ga In kissed his cheek. "How are you doing?"

"Liking all the attention, aren't you?" Chansung winked, ruffling his friend's hair. "And, by the way, it's nice to finally meet your girlfriend. She's just as beautiful as you said."

"Aren't you sweet." Ga In smiled.

"Doctor told your parents you can go home soon." Chansung told his friend the good news. "Did you eat?"

Ryeowook looked to Ga In. She looked sad but hid it after a moment.

"He did! He ate everything."

"Great." Chansung responded. "You need anything right now? Dessert?"

Ryeowook had woken with a full bladder, no doubt from the water he'd gulped down after his meal. He kept going back and forth in his mind--to do it or not to do it. This was insane. He couldn't possibly...

The hell with it. Ryeowook looked over at the door, trying to convince his bladder to empty. He couldn't possibly look at Chansung or Ga In while he did it. He hoped they couldn't tell. 

"How about your favorite, chocolate cake?" Chansung asked. 

"I'll go see if I can find some in the cafeteria." Ga In said, eager to get away from the silence of unanswered questions.

"When you get discharged, let's go fishing." Chansung suggested after Ga In left in search of chocolate cake. "It's just not as much fun without you. I tell people how big the fish was that I caught and they all believe me!" Chansung laughed.

Ryeowook fought to keep his breath steady as his urine was soaked up by the hospital gown, sheet, and blanket. He was in shock. He'd done it! He'd actually done it. This was the point of no return. 

A nurse entered the room. "Hello, Ryeowook." He greeted. "How goes?"

Ryeowook shifted in the bed a bit.

"Have you peed yet? The doctor says we need to make sure you're not dehydrated." 

Ryeowook felt hot, sweating with anxiety and adrenalin. Sooner or later they were all going to know what had just happened. Would anyone call him out for it? Would they realize he'd done it on purpose? He kept his eyes averted, afraid someone could tell by looking at him.

"Come on," The nurse pulled the blanket back and stopped as soon as he saw.

Chansung's eyes widened and he looked away as soon as he saw it, embarrassed for his friend.

"Good news is you're not dehydrated." The nurse said. "I'll get housekeeping in here to clean up and change the sheets. Let's get you to the toilet, okay?"

Ryeowook wasn't sure what he was feeling as the nurse ushered him into the tiny bathroom. He was waiting for the moment when the nurse would tell him he had to wear a diaper. 

"Do you want your friend to come in here?" The nurse asked. "I need your gown. We'll get you a clean one."

"Chansung." Ryeowook forced out, nearly embarrassed to death, unable to look at the nurse.

"Chansung? That's you?" The nurse poked his head out of the bathroom. "Would you come help him, please?"

Chansung got up and took a deep breath before stepping into the small room. He stood there, unsure what to do. The nurse had left and come back in the meantime, holding a folded gown.

"Here's a clean one for him. You can leave the wet one on the floor."

"Thanks." Chansung said automatically. 

The nurse was gone again, closing the door behind him. Chansung set the dry gown carefully on the edge of the sink. 

"You need a hand getting that off?" Chansung asked his friend.

Ryeowook said nothing, but held his arms out. Chansung bent over, untying the gown in the back before slipping it off the older man's arms. He dropped it onto the floor and put the Ryeowook's arms thru the sleeves of the dry one. 

"Stand up so I can tie this." Chansung told him. 

Ryeowook obeyed and stayed still as the gown was fastened. 

"It's okay, Ryeowook." Chansung said quietly. "I'd have the piss scared out of me too if I'd been in the car."

Ryeowook could always count of Chansung for his unique sense of humor. 

"Come on. Maybe Ga In found some chocolate cake by now." Chansung said, slinging an arm around his friend's shoulders and opening the door. 

As they stepped into the hospital room, housekeeping was remaking the bed. Chansung thanked the woman and helped Ryeowook back under the covers. Ryeowook kept waiting for word from the doctor or nurse that he would have to wear protection in case he peed the bed again, but none came. 

Well what the fuck? He'd humiliated himself in front of the nurse and Chansung for nothing. Figures.


	5. five

Housekeeping had cleaned up, gotten the gown out of the bathroom, and left by the time Ga In got back with a piece of chocolate cake purchased from the cafeteria.

"Got some cake!" She held it up for Ryeowook to see. She opened the plastic container and freed the plastic fork from it's confines, setting them both before Ryeowook. "It looks delicious."

"Mmm." Chansung agreed. "It sure does. You better eat it before I do."

Ryeowook looked at the cake for a moment, considering. He was frustrated at the lack of action after he'd urinated all over himself and the bed. He knew both Chansung and Ga In were getting frustrated with his not speaking and not feeding himself. Something had to give. He'd come this fucking far--he wasn't giving the plan up now. 

Ryeowook reached out for the cake, raising Ga In and Chansung's hopes. He swiped a stripe of chocolate frosting off with two fingers and stuck them in his mouth. 

"Here, hon." Ga In, trying to be patient, pushed the fork closer to her boyfriend. 

After licking his fingers nearly clean of frosting, Ryeowook repeated the action, finding some satisfaction in it this time. He'd gone thru all this trouble, damn it, he deserved to get a fucking diaper! Screw the stupid hospital! 

"Ryeowook." Ga In heard herself exhale his name with utter exasperation and was ashamed she'd done so. 

Ryeowook did it a third time. 

"So that's the way we're doing it?" Chansung asked, mischief in his voice. He reached over and captured a dab of frosting on one finger, applying it to the tip of Ryeowook's nose.

Ryeowook stopped, fingers still in his mouth and looked at Chansung, surprised. Chansung laughed. Ryeowook continued looking at him for a moment and then gave in to the infectious laughter. Ga In smiled, happy to see her boyfriend happy.

Ryeowook finished off the rest of the frosting quickly. Chansung used the fork to pick up a bite size piece of cake.

"Did you want to try the actual cake now?" He teased, moving the food closer to Ryeowook's mouth.

Ryeowook took the offering. 

"He's going to be thirsty after all that sugar." Ga In said. "I got some milk, too." She set the carton on the tray table, next to the cake.

Ryeowook looked at the milk and then at Ga In. When she didn't move, he looked at the milk again.

"Will you please try, honey?" She urged. "Please?"

Ryeowook picked the milk carton up, traces of frosting on his fingers, and put it to his lips. Instead of drinking it, he let the milk spill down his chin and onto his fresh gown. Chansung was the quickest to react. He grabbed the milk carton and set it down before rushing to the bathroom. He came back with a handful of paper towels.

"Good try, my man." Chansung said cheerfully as he wiped Ryeowook's chin and blotted at the milk spots on the gown.

He set the damp towels on the table and lifted the milk carton to his friend's mouth. Ryeowook drank without incident this time. Chansung then offered another bite of cake, pleasing Ryeowook greatly. After finishing off the cake and milk, thanks to Chansung, Ryeowook pointed at the TV. 

"Hmm?" Chansung turned and looked. "You want to watch TV?"

Chansung located the remote and turned it on. He found a station playing music videos and left Ryeowook to watch them as he cleared off the table. Ga In took a seat next to the bed, holding her boyfriend's hand with worry. What was wrong with him? How long would it take for him to snap out of this?

Ryeowook didn't even realize he'd fallen asleep watching television. When he woke, it was dark outside. He was alone in the room. Doubt stabbed at him once again. Could he really get away with this? 

The next time he woke, it was light again. His parents were sitting next to his bed. Breakfast was on the table.

"Good morning, Ryeowook." His father smiled. "How are you feeling?"

Ryeowook yawned and stretched, immediately regretting it. Yesterday's accident had left him sore all over. He grunted with the pain.

"Better bruises than broken bones." His father smiled. "I'll have the nurse get you something for the pain."

Ryeowook's mother pulled the table in front of him. 

"You should be able to go home today." She told him happily. 

Ryeowook saw two strips of bacon and picked one up, eating it hungrily and soon eating the other. He picked up the pancake with his hand and began to eat that, too. Ryeowook's parents, who had been told of their son's refusal to use utensils yesterday, said nothing. They were glad he was eating and feeding himself.

Ryeowook wasn't feeling nearly as groggy this morning and he was glad for it. However, after the nurse came in and gave him something for the pain, he realized why he had been groggy yesterday. It wasn't long before he drifted off to sleep, thanks to the pain killers.

Ryeowook opened his eyes about two hours later. Chansung and Ga In were sitting in chairs looking at pictures on her phone. Ryeowook closed his eyes and concentrated, telling himself not to be a fucking coward. His hard work paid off, now to wait for someone to notice. He opened his eyes again and looked to his girlfriend and best friend.

"Was he drunk?" Chansung asked, amused with the picture Ga In was displaying.

"No!" She laughed and glanced in the direction of her boyfriend. When she saw he was awake, she stood and approached him. "Hi, babe. Feeling better? I hear you ate a lot for breakfast."

Ryeowook coughed and smiled at her. She was so happy with that smile, she nearly broke down into tears. Instead, she bent over and kissed his lips gently. 

"Awww." Chansung cooed. "So sweet."

Both the lovers blushed and she pulled back. Ryeowook coughed again.

"Thirsty?" Chansung asked. He opened a bottle of water and held it out to his friend. 

Ryeowook took it, much  to the delight of the others in the room. He made a show of drinking it, spilling a little. Chansung, who had napkins ready this time, wiped his friend up. Ryeowook gave the water bottle back to Chansung.

"Ryeowook." A nurse entered the room. "Good news! The doctor says you can go home today. We'll send you with a prescription to help with the pain, but that should fade in a few days. Any questions for me?"

Ryeowook chewed on his lip. When was someone going to notice he'd peed the bed again? Would it keep him from being discharged? He didn't want that. 

"No." He answered, figuring that speaking was a good way to get out of here, despite the bed wetting. 

Ga In was elated to finally hear her boyfriend speak. She put a hand on his arm. 

"Okay then." The nurse said. "Let's get you up and out." She pulled the covers back and everyone stopped.

Ga In's first thought was the spilled water. When she realized what had actually happened, she gasped. Ryeowook cringed at her gasp, waiting for the rest of her reaction.

"Your mom and dad brought some clothes from home for you." Chansung told him, as if nothing out of the ordinary had happened. "I put them in the bathroom. Why don't you go get dressed?"

Ryeowook stood and made his way to the bathroom, unable to look at Ga In. What on earth must she be thinking? Why had he thought this would be a good idea? And mostly, would he get a fucking diaper now?


	6. six

Chansung guessed that Ryeowook was not going to dress himself. Whether he couldn't or wouldn't, Chansung hadn't figured out yet--the same for feeding and drinking. This loss of bladder control, he was at least sure about that. He felt bad for Ryeowook, especially now that Ga In had witnessed it. The poor guy must be so embarrassed. How could he ask Ga In if she wanted to help her boyfriend get dressed? Considering the look on her face, she didn't. 

"Come on, Ryeowook." Chansung took his friend's arm and urged him into the bathroom, closing the door behind them. He took in his friend's expression. "Don't worry. I'm sure it's just a temporary problem."

Ryeowook stood perfectly still as Chansung untied the hospital gown and let it fall to the floor. Chansung held the shirt out to his friend, though he was pretty sure he'd be the one to put it on the man. Ryeowook wouldn't even look at him. Chansung sighed.

"I know you're embarrassed, but it's okay. You really got beat up in that car. Once your bruises all heal, you'll be back to your old self. Now put your arms up, please."

Ryewowook did as he was told, though it hurt his back a little. Chansung carefully put his best friend's arms thru the sleeves and pulled the t-shirt onto Ryeowook's torso. Ryeowook still wouldn't look at him. Chansung lifted his friend's chin, meeting his troubled gaze.

"Do you want to do the rest?" Chansung asked. "Do you want Ga In to help instead? Or your dad?"

"No. You." Ryeowook answered. 

"Okay, mister." 

Before Chansung could continue, there was a knock on the door before it opened.

"The doctor wants to do some more tests before we send you home. She recommends you try these in case you have another accident." 

Ryeowook's heart skipped. There it was. It was different than he'd imagined, but it was still what he'd been hoping for. The nurse handed Chansung the item and left, closing the door. Chansung looked at it and unfolded it. Ryeowook tried not to make his interest obvious. He fought to keep from staring at it. His body started to tingle with anticipation. Finally. He was finally going to wear a diaper. 

"I'm sure you won't need this, but better safe than sorry, right?" Chansung opened the garment and knelt. "Hang on to my shoulder."

Ryeowook put an unsteady hand on his friend's shoulder, his desire building stronger than ever now that the object of his desire was right there. He lifted his foot and put it thru the leg hole, repeating with the other foot. He retracted his hand as Chansung stood, pulling the garment up on his way. 

Ryeowook's head was swimming. He couldn't believe it. It was soft around his most sensitive areas, slightly padded, snug. It was the most comfortable thing he'd ever worn in his entire life. He wanted to touch it, to look at it--but he kept still and let Chansung help him into his sweat pants. 

Ryeowook was having trouble keeping his breathing under control. He was tingling from head to toe. He bit his lip to keep from moaning in delight. It felt every bit as good as he'd imagined--even better. It was so safe, so comforting, and a major turn on. It was so many things at the same time--all of them wonderful.

He kept silent, letting Chansung lead him back into the hospital room where his parents and Ga In were waiting with an attendant. The first step almost caused him to gasp. Walking in it was even better! The slight bulk moved against his skin, softness massaging him. The padding between his legs made him feel playful. 

"Let's go get those tests done, Ryeowook." The attendant said, indicating the wheelchair.

Ryeowook sat in the chair. Sitting like this wasn't as fun as walking, but it was enjoyable nonetheless.


	7. seven

Ryeowook waited in the wheelchair while the doctor consulted his parents, best friend, and girlfriend. 

"Thus far, the tests haven't shown a cause for incontinence, limited speech, and other symptoms. It is very possible that they are all a result of the concussion and will go away very soon. There is a chance, also, that Ryeowook is dealing with a psychiatric disorder of some kind. Is there any history of that?"

"No. Not at all." Answered his mother. 

"I advise waiting this out and encouraging him to do things on his own. If there is no improvement, please let us know."

"Thank you, doctor." Ryeowook's father said, shaking his hand. "You ready, Ryeowook?"

Ryeowook nodded, silent for the ride to his parents' vehicle. He felt a little stiff and sore from the accident, but it wasn't too bad, as he climbed into the back of their car. 

"I'll see you later." Chansung smiled at him before walking away to his own car. 

Ga In kissed her boyfriend's cheek. "I'll see you at your parents' place, okay?"

Ryeowook was silent on the drive. The car engine lulled him nearly to sleep, but he was still mostly awake when his parents parked their car in the garage. He didn't see his car and wondered why. It was probably totaled, right? He wondered where all of his things were that had been in the car. What about his wallet?

"Ryeowook." His father said. "We're here."

"Oh. Right." Ryeowook pulled himself out of the seat and followed his parents into the house. He slipped his shoes off and padded to his childhood bedroom. The bed was calling his name-- warm, comfy, quiet bed. He closed his bedroom door and slipped under the covers, letting out a sigh of happiness. 

"He fell asleep, dear." Ryeowook's mother explained to Ga In. "You're welcome to wait, if you'd like."

"Oh, no. It's okay. I have class tomorrow anyway. I'd better get back. I'll text him later."

"We don't have a replacement phone yet. His was broken in the accident." His father notified her.

"Oh! Right. I'll call." Ga In smiled and left, though she was afraid that even if she did call, Ryeowook wouldn't talk.

Ryeowook woke with a headache and a full bladder. He rolled over, loving the way the padding of the diaper rubbed against his skin. He reached down, hand slipping into his sweatpants, fingers sliding over the cloth of the diaper. It felt amazing. 

The full bladder would be easy enough to take care of. The headache would require a bit more effort. He took a deep breath and tried to release into the diaper. He felt like he was going to pop a blood vessel. It was too difficult, nothing came out. 

With a groan of complaint, he changed position, getting up on his knees and trying again. This time, hot urine flowed. Ryeowook gasped as the the diaper soaked up the discharge, making it warm around his genitals. It was more pleasurable than he'd ever imagined. All those times he'd fantasized about what it would be like to be made to wear a diaper and use it did nothing to prepare him for the real thing.

Ryeowook shivered, letting out a shaky breath as his body started that familiar tingling. The heat was almost unbearable, burning up. He hadn't expected this to turn him on so much. His penis started to come to life now that he was done urinating, getting hard in the confines of the swollen padding. 

"Unh!" Ryeowook gasped, falling onto his hands and knees, moving his hips to feel even better. Fuck, this was so good! 

"Ryeo--" Chansung froze in the doorway. 


	8. eight

"Ch-Chansung." Ryeowook stammered, falling onto the bed. 

"What's wrong?" Chansung rushed to his friend's side, hand on his shoulder, concern on his face.

"Uh. N-nothing." Ryeowook's face flushed. Chansung hadn't noticed? Or was he pretending because he didn't know what to do with the situation? "Head hurts."

"I'll get you something." Chansung patted his friend's shoulder before leaving the room.

Ryeowook let out a long breath as soon as he was alone. That was close! He settled back onto the bed, pulling the covers over his lower half.

"Here you go." Chansung entered the room with a glass of water and a pill. 

Ryeowook considered what to do next. He absolutely couldn't be caught faking. He needed to be believable but he couldn't be too capable, otherwise Chansung wouldn't take care of him anymore. 

"Hurts." Ryeowook complained, holding his head. 

"Open up." Chansung set the pill on Ryeowook's tongue when the older man opened his mouth as told. He then held the glass to Ryeowook's lips.

Ryeowook drank and swallowed the pill.

"Thanks."

"You're welcome." Chansung set the glass on the nightstand. "Ga In sent me a message for you. Your parents said your phone is broken." He brought the text message up on his phone screen and showed his friend.

-Sorry I had to leave, babe. I have class in the morning. Call me.-

Ryeowook leaned back onto the pillow, looking at the ceiling. Chansung put his phone away and leaned on the bed, studying his friend.

"You know you can tell me anything, right?"

Ryeowook nodded. Sure he could--everything except Chansung, I like to wear diapers and be taken care of. 

"Okay. Good. You want some more sleep?"

Ryewowook sat up, pushing the covers off. Chansung moved back as Ryeowook put his feet on the floor. He looked up at Chansung and held out a hand. Chansung took Ryeowook's arm, helping the sore man stand.

"You don't want to sleep." Chansung guessed. "Need to use the bathroom?"

Oh how Ryeowook wished Chansung hadn't asked. He stopped and looked at Chansung, biting his lip. 

"Uh, Ryeowook?" Chansung looked at his friend. "Did you..."

Ryeowook looked away.

"Okay, no biggie. You haven't had a shower in a while. This would be a perfect time--or a bath? Bath would be a better, wouldn't it? Especially if you're too sore--a hot bath would be a great option..." Chansung saw the way his best friend was looking at him. "I'm rambling." He realized out loud.

Ryeowook laughed. "Cute."

"Cute?!" Chansung blurted, offended. "You're way cuter than I am. Go take your bath, mister."

Ryeowook took a step toward the door and nearly moaned. The bulk of the absorbed urine was between his thighs. With every step toward the bathroom, the bulge rubbed against everything. It was maddeningly exciting.

When Chansung found his best friend's parents, they were sound asleep in their bed. He knew they hadn't gotten much sleep at all--if any--since they learned their son was in a bad car accident. There was no way he was going to wake them up now. 

Chansung knocked on the bathroom door before opening it.

"Did your parents stop off at a store when they brought you home?"

Ryeowook had only managed to lift his shirt part way in the time Chansung had been gone. His arms and chest hurt and it was slowing him down.

"No."

"The hospital didn't send any...you know..." Chansung gestured at his friend's crotch. "We need to get some more."

Ryeowook managed not to jump for joy(probably couldn't anyway) and say Yes, please! to the idea of having an entire package of diapers to use.

"You okay alone? Your parents are sleeping. I'll go to the store--"

"No." Ryeowook pulled his shirt back down.

"You want to come to the store?"

"Yes."

And so, Chansung found himself in the store pushing Ryeowook in a wheelchair. They found the incontinence section easily enough. Making a choice, however, was not as easy. All the packages looked so different and yet all the pictures of the products inside looked the same. Chansung ended up just grabbing one at random--other than the size, which he was deliberate about. 

Afraid that Ryeowook might be embarrassed by holding the package throughout the store, Chansung draped his jacket over it. 

"Are you feeling okay? Mom wants to know if I can pick up a baby shower gift. One of the ladies she works with is having a baby."

"Okay." 

Chansung wheeled his friend to the appropriate section of the store and felt overwhelmed again. So many choices. He didn't even know what some of the items were for! He did his best, picking out bibs, pacifiers, socks, wet wipes, baby powder, and a cute basket to put them in.

When they got to the checkout counter, Chansung noticed Ryeowook was holding a baby bottle. 

"Good idea. I forgot that." Chansung said gratefully.

"Mine." Ryeowook corrected.

Chansung looked at him for a moment. "What?"

"Mine." Ryeowook repeated. He wondered how red his face was. To make himself feel better, he managed to urinate a bit more. Fuck it still felt awesome to do that.

"Okay." Chansung said, totally lost. "Put it on the belt."

Ryeowook peed some more on the ride home, wondering how much the diaper could hold. He was afraid that at any moment Chansung was going to call him out on his acting. Why had he thought the baby bottle was a good idea? It was just so very tempting when he was sitting there surrounded by baby paraphanalia. He wanted the pacifiers, the bottles, the bibs. Fuck. Something was wrong with him. No healthy adult would feel this way. 

At home, Ryeowook felt as if he was waddling due to the swollen diaper. He made his way slowly into the house due to his aching body. Chansung carried their purchases. 

Once inside, Chansung set the items in Ryeowook's room and helped his friend to the bathroom. He turned the water on and stopped the drain. As the tub began to fill, he turned to the other man.

"You need help with your clothes, don't you? That's a hell of a bruise you have on your arm. Must hurt."

Chansung pulled Ryeowook's shirt off and dropped it into the hamper. Ryeowook pushed his sweat pants down part way, but bending over hurt, too. Thus, Chansung helped him step out of the pants.

Ryeowook was mortified that he was now standing before his best friend wearing only a soiled incontinence garment. He sort of wanted to stay in it, but didn't want to leak. He reached down and ripped the sides, removing it and dropping it into the trash. 

Chansung stood by, head turned, as Ryeowook slowly and carefully got into the tub. The hot water felt lovely on his sore muscles. He let out a moan of relief and closed his eyes.

"Feels good?"

"Yes."

"You don't need help washing, right?"

"No."

Chansung tried not to indicate his relief at that.

"I'll be just outside. Let me know when you're done."

"Okay."

Chansung got out and closed the door, sliding down to sit on the floor. Holy shit. He wasn't sure how much more of this he could take.


	9. nine

After Ryeowook finished washing, he carefully exited the tub, drying off with a towel--as best he could with his sore muscles. After wrapping the towel around his waist, he opened the bathroom door. Chansung, who had been leaning on the door, fell back. Ryeowook looked down, amused. Chansung looked up at him, not amused.

"Hi." Ryeowook said, laughing.

"Yeah, yeah." Chansung tried to be annoyed, but he ended up laughing too. Chansung got to his feet. "Come on, I'll help you get dressed."

Ryeowook followed him into the bedroom, opening one of his drawers and pulling out a t-shirt. His pants were in the bottom drawer and bending over still didn't seem like a good idea. He heard lots of noise from Chansung's direction as he assumed the other man was struggling with opening the package.

"Uh, Ryeowook."

Ryeowook looked at his friend, wondering what the issue was. He nearly whimpered. Chansung was holding a diaper--a real diaper, not that underwear he'd removed before his bath. Plastic, padded, tapes, unfolded--Ryeowook got very warm very quickly. Remain calm. Remain calm--or at least pretend to be calm.

"I think we got the wrong kind." Chansung said.

Ryeowook shook his head, afraid to speak.

"We could go back to the store." Chansung offered.

Ryeowook just shook his head again. 

"All right." Chansung scratched the back of his neck, a nervous habit. "I guess, uhm, lie on the bed?"

Ryeowook had to hold his breath for fear of the noises that might come out of his mouth. His heart was racing so fast, he wondered if he was about to pass out. He got on the bed, lying back, trying to deeply hide his elation. 

Chansung took a deep breath, trying to steady himself. This was getting more and more dangerous. Ryeowook unfolded his towel, watching Chansung's hands. He lifted his hips so his friend could slide the back side of the diaper under his back side. He averted his eyes as Chansung folded the diaper over his crotch. Chansung was intently taping the diaper shut while Ryeowook was fighting his instinct to squeal and roll around.

"That's done." Chansung cleared his throat. "You okay?"

Ryeowook lifted his arms and Chansung grabbed them, pulling Ryeowook gently into a sitting position. Chansung spotted the shirt his friend had chose and helped the man pull it on. Chansung went to the dresser and got a pair of lounge pants out of the bottom drawer. He put Ryeowook's feet thru the leg holes and pulled them. Ryeowook stood by holding onto his friend and Chansung pulled the pants up the rest of the way.

"How about some lunch?" Chansung asked, eager to get out of the bedroom.

Ryeowook let go of Chansung and took a step.

Holy shit.

He took another.

Oh fuck.

The diaper was loud. The plastic that encased Ryeowook's hips crinkled with every step he took, only slightly muffled by the pants he wore. He was in heaven. He savored every step that took him to the dining room table. Sitting down made yet another noise that brought him delight. 

Chansung made a few sandwiches and poured some chocolate milk for the both of them. He put everything on the table. Ryeowook looked at the food for a little while as Chansung took a bite of his sandwich. 

"I'm not feeding you your sandwich. You can do that part." Chansung told him.

Ryeowook frowned. Chansung picked up a knife and cut Ryeowook's sandwich into fourths. Ryeowook smiled and picked up a piece, taking a bite.

"Spoiled brat." Chansung tousled his best friend's hair.

After eating half of the sandwich, Ryeowook picked up the cup of chocolate milk and put it to his lips. He took a drink, half of it spilling down the front of his shirt and onto his pants.

"Shit." Chansung blurted, grabbing a near by towel. He patted at Ryeowook's shirt, pants, and the chair. "Sorry. Still having problems with that part, hmm?"

Ryeowook frowned. Chansung took the cup and held it to Ryeowook's lips. Ryeowook pulled away. Chansung was at a loss. He didn't know what to do to help his friend do things for himself. Maybe a different cup? A straw? A travel mug.

Oh! Is this why Ryeowook had insisted that the bottle was his? No. That was crazy. Chansung glanced at Ryeowook again. He looked so upset that he wasn't able to do things for himself. 

"Ryeowook." Chansung said carefully. "Is this why you picked that bottle at the store?"

Ryeowook nodded. 

"Okay. Listen, I'll wash it and you finish your sandwich."

Ryeowook's smile made Chansung smile.


	10. ten

Chansung was trying not to look at Ryeowook, trying to concentrate on washing the baby bottle. He was especially trying not to think about Ryeowook naked on his bed earlier. He was embarrassed for himself and for Ryeowook. This isn't the way a friendship was supposed to be. Some things were just too intimate for friends--like changing one's diaper. Far too intimate for friends. Strangers would be better suited for the task.

Ryeowook was keeping a clandestine eye on Chansung, in hopes he wouldn't be discovered thoroughly enjoying his diaper. He was moving his ass back and forth, loving the friction and the small noises. Fuuuuck this diaper was so much better than the other one. 

After he'd finished washing the bottle and shaking out as much water as he could, Chansung poured some chocolate milk into it and went to Ryeowook. He set the bottle on the table next to his friend's plate, and quickly sat down to finish his own food.

Ryeowook wanted Chansung to hold the bottle for him, of course, but he wasn't going to push things too far too fast. He didn't want to get too greedy--well, he did but it wouldn't get him what he really wanted. He picked the bottle up and put the nipple in his mouth. He closed his eyes and started to suckle.

Oh fuck. This wasn't as good as the diaper, but doing this in the diaper made everything better. Yes, yes, oh yes.

Chansung was giving his plate and sandwich much more attention than they warranted. He couldn't bare to look at Ryeowook eagerly sucking down milk. He finished his food and took his dishes to the sink. He risked a glance at his friend when he took the empty plate.

"Did you want some more to eat?"

Ryeowook looked up at his tall friend, still sucking on the bottle. Chansung caught himself watching and turned away with plate in hand.

Ryeowook waited until Chansung had returned to the table to let out a frustrated whimper. Chansung, concerned, looked to his friend.

"What's wrong?"

Ryeowook turned those dark colored eyes on his friend, lips forming a pout around the nipple of the bottle. 

Chansung bit his lip. Ryeowook was far too pretty and that pout just made it worse. Somehow Chansung realized that Ryeowook was complaining about the lack of milk he was getting from the bottle. 

"Silly." Chansung took the bottle from the pretty boy. "I'll put some more in--"

"No." Ryeowook interrupted.

"You can't get the rest of it out this way." Chansung patiently explained. "Come here."

Ryeowook stood. Every move was delicious in the plastic backed diaper and so he very willingly followed Chansung to the couch. His mind was fully on getting to use the diaper as soon as possible. As he sat on the couch, Chansung gently pushed on his chest, coaxing him to lie down.

"Here, try it now." The taller man said, holding the bottle to his friend's mouth.

Ryeowook was having a hard time controlling himself. He closed his eyes again, drinking greedily to reward himself for his earlier patience. Chansung was also having a difficult time controlling himself. 

Neither man knew the other was feeling the tension in the room. There was no indication of the temptation each man was facing. And so as it had been for years, each friend suffered their desire in secret. 


	11. eleven

"Okay, that's all of it" Chansung took the now empty bottle from his friend. 

Ryeowook  curled up on the couch, eyes closed.

"Ryeowook." Chansung knelt by the couch, hand on his friend's shoulder. "If you want to sleep, go to bed."

"Nuh uh." Ryeowook rolled over onto his stomach, still relishing every slight noise the plastic made and every way the padding rubbed against him.

"Don't be difficult." Chansung tickled his friend's ribs lightly.

"Ow!" Ryeowook complained with a pout in the tall man's direction.

"Did it really hurt?" Chansung paused. "Come on, go to bed."

Ryeowook grumbled but sat up, taking his friend's hand and following him down the hall to his room. Ryeowook got into bed, looking up at his friend expectantly.

"What is it? You need something?"

Ryeowook let out a "hmph" and flopped down, rolling over and covering himself with the blanket. Chansung left to wash out the bottle and fill it with water. When he returned, he found Ryeowook breathing peacefully, curled up on his side, sucking his thumb.

Chansung stared. Holy shit. Ryeowook's perfect lips were parted as he sucked, his jaw moving ever so slightly. Chansung had to get out now. He set the bottle on the night stand and high tailed it out of the room and house.

Ryeowook sighed as he heard the door close. Chansung was certainly indulging him, but hadn't gotten the hint. Ryeowook had been sucking on his thumb in hopes of his friend giving him one of the pacifiers he'd purchased earlier. Maybe next time, Ryeowook consoled himself.

Chansung went to his bedroom, locking himself in, glad to finally be alone. He wished Ryeowook was back to normal already. He wasn't sure how many more diaper changes he could handle. It was just too much for him. He was only human! And then the bottle and the thumb sucking--Chansung groaned and dropped onto his bed. 

He was worried about Ryeowook's health. Chansung was worried about his ability to be a good friend during the recovery. He couldn't put up with much more. It just wasn't humanly possible. This was too much to ask of a person!

No, it's not what you're thinking. He didn't have a problem with Ryeowook needed to be fed. He didn't have an issue with Ryeowook's temporary bladder incontinence. These difficulties certainly didn't scare him away from his life long friendship. His difficulty was something he'd kept secret for years. He couldn't tell any one--especially Ryeowook or their parents. If he wanted to remain friends with Ryeowook, he'd have to keep this secret buried. 

Ryeowook with his secret desire for diapers.

Chansung with his secret desire for........what exactly?


	12. twelve

Ryeowook woke from his nap with a yawn and stretch. The stretching still hurt some. He sat up and tried to urinate. No luck. It was so difficult to convince his body that it was okay to let go even though he wasn't before a toilet or urinal.

He got on his knees, like he had last time, and tried again. It was a struggle between his brain and his muscles. He finally managed to pee into the diaper. He gasped as the hot liquid was absorbed and spread everywhere--even up the back of the diaper. When he finished, there was no question the diaper had reached capacity. 

"Fuck..." He breathed, touching the front of the diaper. He slid his palm down between his legs, appreciating just how well he'd filled it. Both hands then went to his ass. Fuck. This was amazing. 

Ryeowook sat down, wondering if the diaper would split open and leak all over his bed. It didn't. It did, however, feel absolutely fucking amazing. His thighs were held apart by the bulge between them. Again, he pressed his palm to the front of the diaper. This time he lifted his hips slightly, effectively humping the diaper and his own hand.

"Uhhhh." He whispered, eyes rolling back. So very, very good. There was nothing like it in this world--being a grown man sitting in a diaper filled with his own urine. So naughty. So wrong. So right. So safe. So comforting.

Ryeowook suddenly let out a laugh and fell back onto the bed. Happy. He was happy.

Meanwhile, Chansung was experiencing a crisis--one he had experienced many times.

That chin and sharp jaw line, those perfect half-moon eyes that became slits with a smile, the fine features, those abs--it all made Chansung's mouth water, heart race, and Chansung Junior stir in his pants. Shit. Shit. Shit. No! He couldn't do this. He couldn't get hard thinking about his best friend. Unacceptable!

Chansung's memory recalled the sight of lean, sexy Ryeowook lying naked on his bed, patiently waiting for his diaper change. Chansung's memory further betrayed him by also recalling the way Ryeowook looked sucking on the baby bottle and his thumb. 

"Fuuuck." Chansung blurted, startling himself. He realized his palm was on his crotch, rubbing lightly. 

If only it was his dick those lips had been wrapped around, sucking like that.

"Fuck!" Chansung hissed, rubbing a little more enthusiastically. 

There was no denying it--at least to himself--Chansung wanted Ryeowook. Bad. At this point, it felt more like a need than a want. He lost count of the number of times he'd jacked off to thoughts of the smaller man--Ryeowook writhing on a bed under him; Ryeowook licking his solid cock; Ryeowook bent over--and each time he hated himself for it. Ryeowook was obviously straight. Chansung knew he had no right to fantasize about his best friend this way. Ryeowook trust him and he hated that he betrayed that trust by fucking the man over and over again in his imagination. Every time, he silently promised his friend that he would never do it again. But, eventually, he found himself locked in the shower or bedroom, hand around his cock, thoughts of sexy, perfect Ryeowook on his mind.

He could have just told Ryeowook's parents that he couldn't take care of the man's diaper changes and feedings. They would absolutely understand. But there was another, equally disturbing, part of Chansung's secret desire for Ryeowook.

Chansung was in love with his best friend.

Yes, everybody loves their closest friend, but Chansung had no doubt he was in love with Ryeowook. Thus, there was no way he could turn his back when Ryeowook needed someone like this. He knew Ryeowook was more embarrassed to have his parents change his diapers than Chansung. He knew Ryeowook didn't want to burden Ga In with this. So, though Chansung suffered every moment he spent confronted with a naked Ryeowook in close physical proximity, his love wouldn't let him take himself out of the situation. Ryeowook needed him and no matter the personal cost, Chansung would give whatever Ryeowook needed. 

And so, Chansung kept his secret desire hidden deep inside.


	13. thirteen

Chansung felt guilty and ashamed. He decided to go for a run to clear his mind and work his frustration out thru sweat and strained muscles. 

Ryeowook's rumbling stomach had led him to the kitchen, where he found his mother.

"Ryeowook!" She hugged him. "How are you feeling?"

"Okay." The rumbling of Ryeowook's stomach filled the space between them.

"Let me get something together for you." His mother laughed.

If Ryeowook had known his mother was in the kitchen, he would have taken the diaper off or put pants on over it--though he wasn't sure his pants would fit over it as much as the diaper had swelled. Ryeowook's mother threw together some pasta and sauce for her son. She stopped just before handing the bowl to him.

"Ryewowook, you..." She wasn't sure how to word it. "Are those from the hospital?" She eyed his diaper.

"No."

"These are different..." She lifted his shirt a bit to get a better view. "We can get you the other kind--the ones that are like underwear, hon. You don't need to wear diapers. I know this is hard on you."

"It's fine." He took the bowl from her and headed to the table, not wanting to talk about it any further.

"Does it happen while you're sleeping?" She asked, following him with a fork.

Ryeowook didn't answer. He accepted the fork and made a show of ineffectively feeding himself.

"Why don't you take a bath after you're done eating?" Ryeowook's mother advised. "You can get the diaper off by yourself, right?"

Ryeowook nodded and continued eating.

Chansung returned home, sweating and breathing hard. He felt better but unfortunately it didn't last for long. After a relaxing shower, his phone rang. Ryeowook's father.

"Chansung, are you busy? We'd like to speak with you."

When Chansung arrived, Ryeowook wasn't in sight.

"Thanks for coming over."

"Of course. Is Ryeowook okay?"

"Yes."

The trio all sat and Ryeowook's father continued. 

"Months ago we paid for a cruise. After Ryeowook's accident, we weren't going to go."

"But he's improving." The young man's mother explained. "He ate with a fork and answered most of my questions. However, we absolutely don't feel comfortable leaving him alone. Would you be willing to stay with him?"

"Uh...I...how long?"

"Three weeks."

Oh shit. Three weeks! Alone with Ryeowook for three fucking weeks. But, surely Ryeowook wouldn't need Chansung to diaper him for much longer, now that he was using utensils. 

"You can't get a refund?" Chansung asked.

"No. But if Ryeowook was any worse, that wouldn't matter." His father answered. 

"I'll do it." Chansung had controlled himself around Ryeowook this long, he could do it for weeks. Right? "What did Ryeowook say about this? Is he okay staying with me for three weeks?"

"Why wouldn't he be?" His mother laughed. "He likes you far more than he likes us."

"We haven't told him yet." His father added. 

At that moment, Ryeowook exited the bathroom in a towel, hair dripping water onto his shoulders and down his back. Chansung could barely control himself, his eyes following a drop of water as it traveled down Ryeowook's chiseled abs, down to teh towel low on his hips. Chansung swallowed, hoping his mouth hadn't been hanging open.

"Ryeowook. You doing okay?" His father asked.

"Yeah." Ryeowook took in Chansung's pained expression. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing." His mother assured him. "Come sit. We wanted to run something by you."

Chansung started to sweat. How was Ryeowook going to sit in that towel? He tried to look away, but failed, as Ryeowook sat carefully in his towel. Chansung wondered why he was so excited--he'd seen Ryeowook naked quite often thanks to diaper changes. Yet, the prospect of peeking a glimpse of his goods under that towel made him tingle just the same.

"You remember the cruise we were going to go on?" Ryeowook's father asked.

"Yeah." Ryeowook nodded.

"If you're okay with it, we'd like to go."

"Of course!"

"Chansung will stay here with you--just in case. We would feel better if you were here instead of your apartment."

Ryeowook wondered if that was why Chansung looked so uncomfortable. 

"I'm okay alone." Ryeowook told his parents. "I'll call Chansung if I need anything. I'll stay here until I'm okay alone."

All three of them were pleasantly surprised to hear Ryeowook so verbal.

"If you're sure, but we'd feel more comfortable if Chansung stayed here and that you don't go back to your apartment until we're back. And don't worry about rent. We'll help. It will be a while before you can go back to work."

Ryeowook nodded, giving in. He walked to his room, Chansung following. Chansung closed the door and watched Ryeowook go to his dresser, pulling out clothes.

"Just tell them you're staying." Ryewook told him. "You don't have to."

"I'll stay." Chansung said quietly.

"Chansung." Ryeowook turned and looked at his best friend. "I can tell you don't want to. It's okay."

"It--it's not that, Ryeowook."

Ryeowook waited. When Chansung offered nothing more, Ryeowook prompted him.

"Chansung."

"You need a diaper?" Chansung asked, needing to say something to change the focus--even though the diversion involved seeing Ryeowook naked.

Ryeowook dropped his t-shirt onto the bed and followed it, lying back, waiting for his friend. Chansung avoided eye contact with his best friend, going thru the motions of diapering , his mind begging his hands to fondle Ryeowook's soft sac and to massage that shaft to life and taste it.

"Chansung?"

Chansung startled, stepping back, face flushing. Ryeowook sat up, eyes showing concern as he stared at his friend.

"I--I..." Chansung stepped back.

"I'm sorry." Ryeowook's shoulders slumped. "You shouldn't have to--to change a grown man's d-diaper."

"Ryeowook." Chansung's tone was firm. "I will do whatever you need."

"No." Ryeowook felt so guilty. "You don't have to--"

"Stop. You'd do it for me."

"Then what is it? You don't like this. You're so upset and uncomfortable--"

"No!" Changsung said, desperate for his best friend not to misunderstand.

"Don't lie to me!" Ryeowook snapped, though the only person he was angry at was himself, a hot tear squeezing itself out of his eye.

"No." Chansung breathed. "That's not it. Please trust me. I...I just...I feel a little...dishonest..."

Ryeowook stared at him. What? Did he know? Ryeowook's world stopped.

"Ryeowook?" Chansung noticed the look of terror on his friend's face. "What's wrong?"

Ryeowook shook his head, unable to speak, more tears gathering.

"I--I'm sorry!" Ryeowook cried out.

"No! No, Ryeowook." Chansung sat on the bed next to the other man. "I--I didn't want anyone to know..."

"Me either." Ryeowook lamented.

"What?" Chansung was suddenly confused.

Ryeowook looked at him, also suddenly confused. 

"What are you talking about?" Ryeowook asked.

"What did you think I was talking about?"

"That...that you don't want to--to change...me--my diapers."

"Ryeowook." Chansung said softly, fear coursing thru his veins. "I just...I've had something on my mind. That's all."

"What is it?" Ryeowook asked with obvious concern.

"I..." Chansung took a deep breath. "I'm...g-g--I'm gay."

Ryeowook stared at him, shocked. "Since when?!"

"Since forever."

Ryeowook slapped the back of his friend's head. "And you never told me?! Who have you been telling? Do you have a boyfriend?"

"I've told nobody! And NO! I don't have a boyfriend." Chansung cringed. Nobody could ever interest him like Ryeowook.

"Silly." Ryeowook hugged him. "You didn't need to hide it."

"You're not weirded out?" 

"Not by that." Ryeowook chuckled.

Chansung joined in.


	14. fourteen

"Seeing me naked makes you feel uncomfortable." Ryeowook said, though not at all in the way he imagined.

"No. It's not that. I just...it's been on my mind a lot lately and I had to get it out." Chansung was silently berating himself for not keeping his inner torment hidden. 

"You feel better now?"

"Yeah." Chansung smiled.

Ryeowook's guilt was creeping up on him again. It was interrupted by a phone call. Chansung glanced at his phone and saw it was Ryeowook's girlfriend calling.

"It's Ga In." Chansung offered the phone to his best friend.

"Hello, beautiful."

"Ryeowook!" She gushed, thrilled at his greeting. "You're feeling better?"

"Some."

"You should invite her to come stay with you while your parents are gone." Chansung told the man of his desires, hating every word.

"Your parents are leaving?"

"Cruise." Ryeowook found himself suddenly losing his earlier vocabulary.

"Oh? How long will they be gone?"

"Three weeks."

"You aren't fully recovered yet, are you?" Ga In couldn't believe it.

"No. Chansung will be here."

"Not if Ga In is staying. I'll leave you two alone." Chansung interjected. 

"When are they leaving? I'll come stay with you at your apartment." Ga In told her boyfriend, glad he was feeling better. 

"Tomorrow. I agreed to stay here until they get back."

"I'll be there!"

After ending the phone call, Ryeowook gave the phone back to its owner. 

"So, I'll be here tomorrow morning, okay?" Chansung stood.

"Okay."

Ryeowook's mind was a jumble of various thoughts--related and unrelated. It was a mess. He wasn't even sure he wanted to sort thru it. Ga In would be here tomorrow. Chansung was gay? How long was Ryeowook going to keep pretending he needed diapers? Was he going to keep up the charade even after he went back to his own place? How long before his roommates saw thru his acting? They weren't close at all, but he'd be mortified to wear diapers in front of them. If Chansung hadn't been so visibly upset, Ryeowook would still be speaking very few words and being needy. He was sad knowing he'd eventually have to give up being taken care of like this. 

Ryeowook sighed. If only he could be like one of the people he'd read about whose partner knew of their diaper fetish and accepted it. He was so ashamed of his desire. Surely there must be something wrong with him to want such a thing!

Chansung was gay?

Well, he'd had a girl friend way back when they were just kids. But that was back before puberty. Chansung hadn't really mentioned a girl since then. Why on earth hadn't Chansung told him? Did he really think Ryeowook would treat him any differently?

Ryeowook's thoughts continued to bounce off each other and rattle around inside his skull. It wasn't long before a headache resulted. He rubbed his temples and pulled on a pair of sweatpants, slowly making his way into the kitchen where he thought he'd last seen his medication. 

"Ryeowook?" His mother was there, hand on his shoulder. "Are you okay?"

"Head hurts. Where's..."He looked around. "Medicine?" He wasn't faking. He couldn't find his words. Probably the concussion.

"Here, hon." She got him a pill and handed it to him with a glass of water. He swallowed the pill with a gulp of liquid and gave the glass back to his mother. "Why don't you go lie down." She suggested.

Ryeowook shuffled back to his bedroom and dropped onto the bed, soon falling asleep.

When Ryeowook woke, it was dark. He was thirsty and hungry. He felt groggy and slow. Ryeowook groaned as he managed to drag his stiff body out of bed and out of the room. He found his parents and their suitcases in the living room.

"What are you doing?" He asked with a yawn.

"Are you feeling okay? You were asleep for a long time." His father spoke up. "We're leaving soon."

"Leaving?"

"Ryeowook?" His mother stepped closer. "Do you remember where we're going?"

"What? Yeah. The cruise. I didn't realize you were leaving this early."

"Yes. Sorry. Chansung should be here soon."

Ryeowook said goodbye to this parents, feeling a bit detached from the whole situation. He felt as if he were in a fog. Chansung appeared in time to help the couple carry their luggage. 

After he saw them off, he entered the house and found Ryeowook on the couch watching television.

"You okay?" Chansung asked his friend. "Still asleep?"

"Yeah." Ryeowook yawned, as if on cue, laid down on the couch, getting comfortable.

Chansung grabbed a light blanket and a pillow from Ryeowook's room and gave them to his friend.

"Thanks." Ryeowook said, attention on the TV. When Chansung didn't move, Ryeowook added, "You can go. Thanks for seeing them off."

"If you want me to stay, I will. I'm not so sure you're ready to be alone, either. I don't want anything bad to happen."

"Suit yourself."

Chansung moved the blanket a bit and tugged Ryeowook's sweatpants.

"Hey!" Ryeowook protested, snapping at his friend.

Chansung froze, staring at the other man, a bit surprised at the harsh tone.

"I was checking if you needed a change or not." Chansung explained.

"Oh." Ryeowook felt his face warm up. He pulled the blanket up to hide most of his face. 

"You thought I was doing something to you because of what I told you yesterday?" Chansung was hurt. 

"No!" Ryeowook sat up, staring at his friend as if the man was insane. "Of course not! I thought you were messing with me--not sexually. For fucks sake, Chansung. Just because you're gay doesn't mean I think you're after everything with a penis!"

"Oh." Chansung's face heated up this time. "I thought...I thought--I was afraid things were going to be weird between us after you knew."

"Yeah, cause it's totally not weird that you change my diapers." Ryeowook grumbled as he laid back down.

Chansung chuckled and sat on the floor near the couch. 

"Have you heard from Ga In about what time she's going to be here?"

"No."

"You're doing a lot more talking now. That's good."

"For some people."

Chansung laughed. They watched TV in silence for a few minutes.

"Have you done anything with a guy?" Ryeowook asked suddenly.

"What?" Chansung turned his head to glance at his friend.

"You know, have you kissed a guy? Have you had sex with one? Did a guy give you head?"

"Ryeowook!" Chansung blurted. "I don't ask you about your sex life!"

"So, no." Ryewook nodded. "Okay. Then how do you know you're gay?"

"How do you know you're straight?" Chansung almost laughed at his friend's absurdity. "Have you ever had sex with a man?"

"Never even thought about it! I like sex with women, thank you very much."

That sat in silence for a few more minutes, only the sound of the TV in the room. 

"So how do you know you want to have sex with men?" Ryeowook persisted.

"I don't want to have sex with men!" Chansung sputtered. "Just one guy!"

"Oh?" This peaked Ryeowook's interest. "One particular guy? Do I know him?"

Chansung turned red. This was not a conversation he wanted to travel with Ryeowook right now!

"N-no! I just, I don't want to settle down and have kids with a woman. I can't imagine being in love with a woman."

"What if you thought you loved a man and then you found out that you're totally turned off by sex with him?"

"Isn't that the same for every one?"

"I'm pretty sure I could have sex with any woman I fell in love with." Ryeowook mused. 

"You could probably have sex with your teddy bear."

Ryeowook hit Chansung with his pillow.


	15. fifteen

"Chansung."

"Hmm?" 

The boys had settled down and were watching TV now. 

"Chansung."

"What?" The bigger man asked, not looking at his friend, his attention on the show.

"Chansunnnnnnng." The smaller man whined.

"Wha--" Chansung's question was caught in his throat, after turning his head, as Ryeowook planted a chaste kiss on his lips and pulled back with a giggle.

"Well?"

Chansung turned red and stared at his friend.

"Judging by the color of your face," Ryeowook mused. "Either you hated it and you're about to puke, or you loved it."

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" Chansung blurted.

Ryeowook laughed, highly amused with himself. He was still laughing with the doorbell sounded. Chansung saw it was Ga In and opened the door. 

"Good morning." She smiled at him and stepped inside.

"Morning." He replied, closing the door behind her.

"Are you okay?" She asked Chansung.

"He's being weird." The tall man gestured at the man on the couch.

"So he's back to normal, then?" She teased her boyfriend.

Ryeowook grinned at her. She approached him, sharing a kiss. Chansung couldn't take any more. Seeing Ryeowook enjoy a greeting kiss with his girlfriend after so nonchalantly kissing him was too much. 

"Call me if you need me." Chansung said quickly and left.

Ga In turned back to her boyfriend. "What's going on with him?"

"I may have been a little difficult."

"You?" She laughed, teasing him again. 

After a moment of silence, during which she got comfortable on the couch with him, she spoke again.

"I'm glad to see you doing so well. I was so worried, Wookie."

"Sorry." He apologized, but not for what she was thinking. He was apologizing for pretending to need diapers. He was apologizing because he really, really didn't want to stop.

She kissed him, lingering, enjoying his warmth. "It's not your fault. I'm just happy."

They cuddled together on the couch for a while, enjoying each other's company. It wasn't long before Ryeowook fell asleep. Ga In eventually fell asleep, also.

Ryeowook woke before she did. He needed to pee. It was difficult, but he managed to let go into his diaper, the padding immediately wicking the moisture away and distributing the warmth. He wanted to sleep some more, but his penis had other ideas. The warmth, the thrill of using the diaper, and his girlfriend's close proximity had his organ interested, no matter how much is brain told the beast to lie back down and behave himself. It didn't help that Ga In was wiggling a bit. It wasn't long before she felt his bulge.

"Hey, handsome." She grinned at him. As soon as she reached down to palm him, she felt and heard the plastic of the diaper. He saw her expression change in that instant.

Something must have shown on Ryeowook's face because Ga In started apologizing.

"I'm sorry, honey." She offered. "I thought because you were doing better, you wouldn't need this protection anymore."

Ryeowook didn't know what to say. He was getting sort of tired of lying to everyone, but he certainly didn't want to come clean! He could--he should tell everyone he didn't need the diapers anymore. But the thought made him so sad. He had wanted to wear diapers for years--as long as he could remember. Every time his parents purchased a gift for a friend's baby shower, he was on edge until the gift left the house--especially if the gift included a package of diapers. He was tempted to steal one from the package but knew he'd get caught. Every time they walked past the baby aisle in a store; every time they visited someone with an infant; every diaper commercial on TV--it all tormented him, year after year. He knew something was wrong with him and therefore never told a soul that he wanted to wear diapers. 

Ryeowook didn't realize he'd sighed until Ga In asked him what was wrong.

"Nothing. I'm just..."

"Are you in pain? Tired? Hungry?"

Ryeowook shook his head. Too many questions. At least the beast in his pants had quieted down. His head started to hurt.

"You don't look so good, babe." Ga In said, concerned. "I'll get some water."

He wanted the baby bottle. He was too afraid to ask. He might have been too afraid to use it in front of his girlfriend. She brought him a glass of water and he sat up gingerly. He took it from her and started his lying again--spilling it as he drank. 

"Head hurts." He found himself pouting. 

"You have medicine for that, right?"

Ryeowook nodded and instantly regretted it. Ouch! 

"Where's the medicine?" Ga In felt out of place. She wanted to help her boyfriend but didn't know where the medication was. 

"Hurts." Ryeowook pushed the glass towards her and she took it. He held his head in his hands and started to rock a little. Fuck it hurt bad.

Ga In persisted.

"Where's the medicine, hon?"

Ryeowook didn't answer. He wanted Chansung. He wanted his bottle. He wanted a pacifier. The TV was suddenly too loud and the lights too bright. 

"Chansung." Ryeowook whined. He couldn't believe he whined. 

Ga In called the man. "Would you come help, please? Ryeowook's head hurts and he doesn't look very good. I don't know where his medicine is."

"I'll be right there." Chansung said and ended the call. He was there moments later, walking into the room and going straight to the kitchen. 

Ga In waited by her lover, watching him anxiously, trying to comfort him by rubbing his arm. Chansung came into the room and pulled Ryeowook to his feet. 

"Come on," The big man said. "You'll be more comfortable in bed."

Ryeowook let himself be helped down the hall and into bed. It helped because he didn't have to open his eyes. Chansung made sure the drapes were pulled shut and the light remained off. He closed the door and sat on the bed, speaking to his friend in a quiet voice.

"This will help with your headache, Ryeowook." Chansung assured the man and Ryeowook opened his mouth to accept the pill. 

Ga In watched, feeling horribly uncomfortable as Chansung held a baby bottle to his friend's lips and Ryeowook suckled, swallowing the pill and water. 

"The doctor said you need to make sure to drink enough water." Chansung said softly. "Finish that bottle. Okay?"

"Mmm." Ryeowook murmured as he continued to drink.

"Do you need a change?" Chansung was careful to ask this time instead of spooking Ryeowook by checking himself.

Ryeowook didn't answer, still working on the bottle. Chansung pulled the covers down and pulled at Ryeowook's sweat pants so he could see the state of the diaper. All three of the young people in the room blushed. Ga In was mortified to see her lover wearing a used diaper. Ryeowook was mortified at her seeing him in one. Chansung was just trying to control himself.

"Okay, that can hold more." Chansung said, mostly to himself, before turning to Ga In. "Check him again in an hour or so."

"W-what?" She blurted.

"After he drinks that water, he'll need his diaper changed." Chansung explained. 

"He still doesn't have control?" Ga In asked.

"Not yet. Soon, I'm sure." Chansung tried to be positive for his friend's sake. He replaced the covers and stood. "Did you need anything else?"

"Would you show me where his medicine is?"

"Sure." Chansung led the way. 

After showing the woman where the medication was, what it was for, and the instructions, Chansung started for the door of the home.

"Chansung."

He stopped and turned to look at his best friend's girlfriend. Was she angry? Worried? Confused?

"What's with the baby bottle?" She hissed, quiet so that Ryeowook wouldn't have a chance of hearing.

"He kept spilling his drinks." Chansung explained. 

"So let's help him until he gets it."

"Ga In, I know it's frustrating, but he needs us to be patient."

"You should have encouraged him to use the bathroom instead of assuming he'd need the diaper." She pointed out.

"Ga In," Chansung sighed. "I don't see it as enabling. It's not like we're pushing pain killers on him. He's already doing better. He was talking up a storm earlier this morning. I think you're right--I should have suggested he use the toilet. I was just focusing on making him comfortable."

Ga In nodded, glad Chansung was coming around to her way of thinking. Chansung nodded to her and left as quickly as possible without seeming rude. 


	16. sixteen

Ga In sighed and went back to the bedroom. Ryeowook was asleep, his thumb in his mouth. Fuck. She gently pulled his wrist, placing it on the blanket covering him. He whined a little and rolled over, curling into a ball. Ga In left the room.

Chansung was a mess. These were going to be a hellish three weeks. He was actually looking forward to the diaper changes now. He was addicted to Ryeowook and it was only getting worse. He loved the intimacy of the diaper changes. He loved watching Ryeowook suckle the bottle. 

Chansung let out a groan. 

He sure as hell wasn't going to admit to Ga In that he never even considered encouraging Ryeowook to use the toilet or drink from a cup because of his own selfish desires. Was he actually being a detriment to Ryeowook's recovery? He didn't want that. He resolved to be a better help to Ryeowook. 

Ga In wasn't doing much better than Chansung. She loved Ryeowook. But this didn't feel like the man she loved anymore. She needed him to get back to himself. Surely a car accident didn't cause a grown man to suck his thumb! And Chansung. She shook her head. Chansung was supposed to be helping. Instead, he was coddling Ryeowook. What on earth was that about? Why didn't he realize that Ryeowook needed help to regain the skills he had before the accident? 

Ryeowook was doing just fine. He was sleeping. His dream was fantastic. Ga In was holding his hand as they strolled along the beach, waves soothing the air around them. They were talking and laughing. Ryeowook felt pressure in his bladder. He let go, knowing he was safe in his diaper.

They walked some more, finding sand dollars on the beach and chasing the waves back to the sea. Eventually, they strode back to their car. When they got home, she slipped her arms around him and kissed him. He loved the way she fit perfectly against him. 

She pulled back just enough to undo his jeans and push them down over his slightly swollen diaper. She folded the jeans and set them on the couch, eyeing his diaper.

"Do you need to pee some more or are you finished, hon?" She asked kindly. 

"I have to go again." He said, shifting his weight on his feet. 

"Go ahead, dear. That's why you're wearing your diaper." She said with a smile. 

Ryeowook did it, the diaper greedily soaking up his urine. Ga In watched happily. 

"That's my good boy." She gushed, patting the front of the garment. 

Ryeowook smiled, proud of himself. Ga In took his hand and led him to their bedroom. He got on the bed and waited while she gathered the supplies. She untaped his diaper and pulled it away before wiping him clean. The attention to his most sensitive areas soon had his penis standing at attention. 

"mmm." Ga In said approvingly. "And there's my good boy again." 

Ryeowook watched as she bent over, her lips parting to take his swollen member into her mouth.

And that's when he woke up.

Ryeowook noticed two things immediately. His head didn't hurt any more. He had a raging hard on. He reached down and palmed his crotch, letting out a long sigh. He pushed his hips up, relishing the noise of the plastic backed diaper. 

Ga In was making lunch when Ryeowook appeared in the kitchen. She greeted him with a kiss. He pulled her in for a hug and nuzzled her hair.

"Hey, beautiful." He smiled. 

"I guess you're feeling better." She giggled.

Ryeowook's hands trailed down, following the curve of Ga In's hips, one hand appreciating her ass.

"Oh my." She teased. "You're feeling that good?"

He kissed her and soon had her pressed against the wall. When Ga In reached down, she was pleased that she didn't feel a diaper. Soon they were both breathing hard. But, when Ryeowook tried to removed her girlfriend's clothes, she stopped him.

"Take a shower first." She told him. "Your dick has been sitting in urine all morning."

"I cleaned up." He assured her. "I still get a bit dizzy, so I take baths. If you don't mind, I could use a hand with my hair. My arms still hurt."

"Ryeowook...honey..." Ga In stepped away. He knew the mood was gone. "Baths don't get you clean like a shower does. A bath is just sitting in a soup of your own dead skin cells."

"Really a gross thought."

"Exactly. We'll try again later, okay?"

"So, no sex until I can manage a shower?" Ryeowook was a bit put off. It wasn't his fault he couldn't stand long enough to shower yet. Surely a bath should be good enough for now.

"I'm sorry, honey. I made some lunch. Are you hungry?"

Ryeowook sighed and sat at the table. Eating would be good for him. After a couple minutes, he looked up, wondering where the food was. He saw Ga In standing in the kitchen, arms folded.

"I'm not your waitress, silly." She scolded. "Your plate is right here." 

He sighed again and got up. He took his plate from the kitchen counter and sat back down at the table. A sandwich--hot ham and cheese. It smelled great. It looked great. He wished Chansung was here to cut it into pieces for him. 

"Did you want something else?" Ga In asked, wondering why he wasn't eating.

"No. This looks delicious." Ryeowook told her. "Thanks."

When he still made no move to eat, Ga In sighed and sat across from him. 

"What is it?" She asked, concerned but also afraid of the answer.

"I..." Ryeowook hesitated. Chansung would cut up his sandwich whether Ryeowook wanted or needed it. Surely his girlfriend would do the same. "I want it cut up."

Ga In stared at him. Was he joking? She gave a nervous chuckle. "So cut it up, silly."

Ryeowook sighed and walked back to the kitchen, retrieving a knife. He sat down at the table and put his acting skills to work, cutting the sandwich as if he were using his feet to do it. None of the pieces were the same size or shape. He set the knife down and started to eat. 

Ga In got up and brought back a glass of milk. Of course. There was no way Ga In was going to bring him the baby bottle. Ryeowook was sadly beginning to realize that Ga In was not going to indulge him, no matter how much he wanted her to.

Why could Chansung be so patient and so generous when his own lover wouldn't show him the same kindness? On the other hand, she was perfect in every other way. So what if she didn't like him wearing diapers or using a baby bottle? So what if she didn't want to take care of him as if he were a helpless child? It's not like he was this way when they started dating. He could just enjoy his desires on his own and spend his time with her being a responisble adult and boyfriend.

But the thought kept nagging him--Chansung would do this for him. So, he picked up the glass of milk and started spilling it as he faked getting a drink. 


	17. seventeen

"Ryeowook!" Ga In reached for the glass, taking it from him and setting it down on the table. 

Ryeowook pouted, looking disappointed.

"You need to be careful, honey." Ga In grabbed napkins from the table and wiped up the chair. "Go change your clothes."

Ryeowook took himself to his bedroom and stripped. This wasn't fun anymore. Ga In wasn't going to give in. He wasn't trying to upset her. He wasn't trying to mistreat her in any way. Yes, he was technically lying to her, but it was harmless. It wasn't as if he was cheating on her.  How wrong was this lie? Was it fair to try to quantify it? How would he feel if Ga In was lying to him about one of her kinks? Well, he'd accept it. Maybe he should just tell her. She loved him. She'd accept it. Right?

He still wasn't that brave. He had to find a way to bring it up without admitting to anything. That way, he could see her reaction toward the subject without putting himself out there. Yes. Good plan. 

That didn't last long. If he were to bring it up to Ga In--"Hey, some people like to wear diapers. What do you think about that?" He might as well come right out and say he was one of those people. No, that wouldn't do at all.

"Ryeowook." Ga In was at the doorway, eyeing her boyfriend's naked body. The bruises nearly made her cry. Maybe she'd been too hard on him.

"Yeah?" He turned to glance at her.

"I'm sorry." She stepped closer and gently kissed the bruise on his upper arm.

"Sorry for what?" Ryeowook was confused. He brushed some stray hair from her face and tucked it behind her ear.

"For not being patient. Come on, I'll help you shower."

The thought of shower sex with Ga In caught Ryeowook's attention immediately. And thus, they found themselves naked and wet, standing under the warm spray. Ga In soaped up her boyfriend's spectacular body and rinsed him off. 

"Let's get your hair, sweetie." She said. 

His attention was elsewhere. He watched the water run down her body. He wanted her. Now. He assumed he must be nearly one hundred percent recovered because he was standing long enough to shower and his member was standing at attention. He reached out and pulled his lover close.

"Not right now!" She giggled, pulling away. "Wait until we get your hair washed."

Ga In squeezed some shampoo onto her palm and started lathering it into Ryewook's soft hair. 

"Close your eyes, please." She urged, not wanting to get shampoo in his eyes. 

Ryeowook did so and immediately felt drowsy. He put a hand on the wall to steady himself. He didn't feel dizzy, exactly, just a bit--

"Ryeowook!" Ga In screamed.

Ryeowook opened his eyes and found himself looking up at his dripping wet girlfriend. 

"Are you okay?" She asked, panicked.

Ryeowook was confused. Why was Ga In like this? Why was he lying on his back in the bathtub? Suddenly the light was too bright. He closed his eyes with a groan.

"Ryeowook." Ga In tried to help her boyfriend sit up.

"Hurts." He managed, pushing her arms away. 

"I'll go get your medicine. Let's get you out of the tub, first." 

"No." Ryeowook insisted. "too bright. too loud. hurts."

Ga In scrambled from the tub to turn off the lights. She wrapped a towel around her body and went back to the tub with a towel for her boyfriend.

"Here." She said softly. "Sit up, hon."

Ryeowook tried, but his head hurt too much, he was too dizzy, and the tub was too slippery. Ga In knew she wasn't strong enough to get the man out of the tub. 

"Honey, I'm going to call Chansung. Okay? Just wait here. I'll be back in a second."

She ran to the living room and grabbed her cell phone, immediately calling the neighbor as she ran back to the bathroom. 

Chansung sighed when he saw it was Ga In calling him. He shouldn't have agreed to look after Ryeowook while his parents were gone. Ryeowook should have gone back to his apartment and had Ga In stay with him. Or, maybe his parents shouldn't have gone on the cruise after all. 

How long was he going to be able to hide his secret from Ga In? The secret that he lusted after her boyfriend and the secret that he didn't want Ryeowook to stop depending on him for diaper changes and feedings. He'd found that he liked the intimacy of caring for the man. If either of them found out, they'd never let him be around again. 

He wondered if Ga In was calling to further lecture him on helping Ryeowook recover instead of enabling his dependence on others for simple tasks. He didn't want to missing a call for help. He answered.

"Chansung!" She sounded frantic. "Ryeowook fell. Help, please!"

Chansung didn't bother with an answer. He raced next door without even putting his shoes on. He burst into the house, calling for his friend and Ga In.

"Bathroom!" Ga In called back, causing Ryeowook to hold his head and groan.

Chansung came to a skidding stop in the room. As soon as he saw Ryeowook, he sprung into action. Ga In stepped back, worried and wringing her hands, allowing Chansung room to tend to Ryeowook. The big man grabbed a towel and draped it over his friend's wet body before scooping him up into his arms. He took the man to the bedroom and sat, with Ryeowook between his legs, supporting the man with his chest and arms. He accepted the towel Ga In handed him and gently began to dry the man off. 

"We were taking a shower. It was going well and then he just..." Ga In took a deep breath to keep from crying too hard to speak. "and then he just collapsed. I think he passed out."

Ryeowook hissed and flinched when Chansung touched his head. Concerned, Chansung carefully took a closer look. He felt a bump and tried to swallow his anger. Ga In was NOT taking good care of Ryeowook! 

"We need to take him to the doctor." Chansung said, much more calmly than he felt. "Getting a head injury while recovering from a concussion is serious business."

Ryeowook, for his part, was only dimly aware of what was happening around him. He just knew that his head fucking hurt.


	18. eighteen

"Grab some pants and a shirt for him." Chansung ordered Ga In. "And a diaper." Yes, he did put that last part in just to bother her. Or, maybe to emphasize that he knew what Ryeowook needed and wasn't afraid of it.

Ga In blushed but got into action. 

"Hurts." Ryeowook mumbled. 

"I know." Chansung said softly. "Let's get you dressed and then you can have your medicine."

"Hurts."

"I know. I know." Chansung felt bad for the man. "But you can't have the medicine yet. It hasn't been six hours."

"Hurts. Hurts!" Ryeowook continued to complain.

Ga In set the clothes on the bed. Chansung grabbed the baby bottle off the nightstand and handed it to Ga In.

"Put some milk in here and get the pain medication. He shouldn't take it on an empty stomach."

Ga In scrambled to do just that. Ryeowook grumbled in protest as Chansung pulled a t-shirt over his head. In the kitchen, Ga In blinked away tears so that she could read the labels on the medications. She found the correct one and glanced at the baby bottle on the counter. She didn't want to do it. It was bad enough that she gave in and got a diaper out for Ryeowook at Chansung's request. Why in hell should she encourage her boyfriend to drink from a baby bottle?! Ga In poured some milk into a cup, grabbed a dish towel, and headed back to the bedroom.

She found Ryeowook with a shirt on, lying back on the bed, unfolded diaper beneath him. She took a deep breath.

"I brought your pain killer, hon." She said calmly. "Come on, sit up." 

"Tape his diaper up first." Chansung said from across the room.

Ga In shot him a glare before she could catch herself. Chansung didn't avert his gaze. 

"Hurts. Medicine. Please." Ryeowook managed, holding his head.

Ga In didn't care about Chansung any longer. Her lover was in pain. She helped him sit up and put the pill in his mouth. She held the cup to his lips and held the towel under his chin. Ryeowook drank, too desperate to pretend. However, some spilled anyway. Ga In was pleased both with her idea and Ryeowook's progress drinking with a cup. She shot Chansung a knowing look. 

His expression let her know he wasn't impressed. Ga In didn't care. Fuck him. This was her boyfriend. She knew how to help him and it wasn't coddling. Chansung left the room and Ga In was glad.

"Lie down and get some sleep, sweetie. You'll feel better." Ga In coaxed her boyfriend back down onto the bed. She pulled on the diaper in an attempt to get rid of it.

"No." Ryeowook whined. 

"I'm just trying to get rid of this damn diaper, babe." 

"No." 

"Honey."

Before Ga In could say anything more, Chansung was back, phone to his ear.

"The nurse says we need to take Ryeowook to the hospital to get checked out." Chansung informed the woman, all anger and frustration gone. 

"Okay." Ga In grabbed the pants she'd set on the bed earlier.

Chansung thanked the person on the phone and hung up, taping up Ryeowook's diaper before Ga In could pull the pants up her boyfriend's legs. She frowned at the other man.

"It's just in case." Chansung told her. "Ryeowook, can you walk?" 

Chansung helped the man sit up and then stand. Ryeowook swayed a bit, the room spinning. He held onto his friend for support as they slowly but steadily made their way to Chansung's car. Chansung helped the man into the front seat and closed the door, quickly getting into the driver's seat.

"I'll follow you guys." Ga In told Chansung, not wanting to risk a ride in the same vehicle as him. She was not sure she could keep from saying exactly what was on her mind.

As Chansung started the engine, he glanced over at his passenger. Ryeowook was attempting to buckle his seat belt, but failing. Chansung reached over and did the task for him.

"Where...?" Ryeowook leaned back, head resting against the seat.

"You hit your head in the tub, Ryeowook." Chansung explained. "Do you remember?"

"Mmm. No." Ryeowook put his thumb in his mouth. "Is that why my head hurts?"

If Chansung hadn't been so concerned about his friend, he might have laughed about the way Ryeowook sounded trying to pronounce words around his thumb. 

At the hospital, Chansung didn't wait for Ga In. He opened the passenger door. Ryeowook looked up at him.

"Let's go." Chansung said, for lack of anything better. 

"Why?"

Chansung leaned over his friend, trying to ignore the way Ryeowook's scent triggered his desire, and unbuckled him. Ryeowook reluctantly let his friend lead him to the hospital entrance and to the desk. After being directed, they ended up in a room awaiting the doctor. 

"Hello." A nurse entered the room and greeted them with a smile. "Mr. Kim?"

Ryeowook was grumbling at Chansung about the lights.

"Could you please turn the lights down?" Chansung asked of the new comer. "He's a bit sensitive to light right now."

"Of course." The nurse turned off some of the lights in the room and Ryeowook relaxed a bit. "What happened, Mr. Kim?"

Ryeowook thought about it. What had happened? He'd been in the shower with Ga In. 

"I guess I fell in the shower." Ryeowook said, looking to Chansung for confirmation.

"He said he didn't remember it." The tall man supplied. "He's recovering from a concussion, so the doctor said he should come in."

The nurse looked thru her paperwork, nodding. "Okay." She went to a cabinet and pulled out some fabric. "Let's get your vitals and then you can put this gown on. The doctor will be in to see you shortly."

After the nurse left, Chansung turned to his friend. "Do you need help with this?" He gestured at the gown.

"Help me." Ryeowook answered. He was becoming more aware of what had happened and was happening, but he still felt groggy and dizzy. 

Chansung patiently got his friend undressed down to his diaper and slipped the gown onto him, tying it. Ryeowook curled up on the bed.

"Thanks."

Chansung pulled a blanket over his friend. "How are you feeling?"

"Tired." Ryeowook's eyes were already closed. 

"Ryeowook."

The man on the bed whined, pulling the blanket over his head, which uncovered his feet. Damn cheap hospital blankets. Frustrated and feeling sorry for himself, Ryeowook started sucking on his thumb again. He was berating himself for falling down in the tub. What a stupid fucking thing to do! Now it would be even longer before he was fully recovered. Stupid fucking shower. He wanted his own bed in his own apartment in his own room--no wait, his own bed in his own room in his own apartment. Right? 

Ryeowook sighed. Other than his body not hurting as much--just his head--he felt the same as the day he'd been in the car accident. He wiggled just a bit, the crinkling of the diaper comforting him. He felt frustrated, overwhelmed, disappointed. Fuck it all. He threw all caution to the wind.

"I want a pacifier."

"What?" Chansung was sure he'd heard wrong. 

"Pacifier." Ryeowook repeated. 

Chansung stared at the man whose eyes were closed. A pacifier?! What the fuck? He understood the baby bottle to help with spills but what purpose did a pacifier serve? This concussion was so much worse than Chansung had realized. It hurt him to think about how much Ryeowook was hurt. 

"We can get one later. Okay?" Chansung patted his shoulder, willing to humor him this much in order to keep him calm. Obviously Ryeowook was delirious.

"Now."

"I don't want to leave you alone right now."

As if on cue, the door opened and Ga In stepped in. She rushed to the bed, practically pushing Chansung away. 

"Has the doctor been in yet?" She asked, her fingertips gently caressing her lover's cheek.

"No." Ryeowook answered. 

"How are you feeling?"

Ryeowook's answer was a growl of frustration at the entire situation. "Chansung--"

"Could you give us a minute?" Ga In asked politely.

"Sure." Chansung left, in search of a pacifier.


	19. nineteen

"I'm so sorry, babe." Ga In hugged her boyfriend gently, kissing his cheek. "I should have listened when you said you shouldn't shower yet."

"Not your fault." Ryeowook patted her back affectionately. 

"I just want to help you get back, babe."

"No."

Ga In wasn't sure how Ryeowook meant it nor what it was about. She played with his hair absentmindedly. She was feeling so guilty. It was all her fault that Ryeowook was back in the hospital and hurting.

"I'm really sorry, honey."

"Chansung?"

"He's not here right now."

Ryeowook's breathing soon indicated that he was sleeping. Ga In lied down beside him and closed her eyes.

Meanwhile, Chansung was in the gift shop looking for a pacifier. He found them, but was unsure which to buy or if he should really buy one at all. 

"May I help you?" A woman asked politely. 

"Not sure which one to buy." Chansung murmured, mostly to himself.

"How old is the baby?" The employee asked.

"Too old for a pacifier."

She laughed and chose one, handing it to him. Chansung thanked her and went to the counter to pay for it. After paying for it, Chansung made his way to Ryeowook's room and washed the pacifier off at the bathroom sink. He found his friend lying on his side, girlfriend snuggled against his back. Chansung sighed and sat down on the chair next to the bed, watching Ryeowook.

Ryeowook's eyes opened, taking a moment to focus.

"Thirsty." He whispered.

Chansung handed the baby bottle to his friend. He'd had the good sense to grab it before they left the house. Ryeowook opened his mouth, but didn't reach out for the bottle. Understanding his role, Chansung put the nipple to Ryeowook's lips. Ryeowook got his drink. Chansung held his breath, afraid he was going to whimper or some other unflattering noise as he watched. 

"Thanks." Ryeowook said.

"You're welcome. How are you feeling? Did the doctor come in yet?"

"Okay. No doctor." Ryeowook looked at his thumb. "Pacifier."

Chansung bit his lip, unsure of how his friend was going to react. He opened his hand, revealing the pacifier. Ryeowook's face lit up, surprising Chansung. He put the object where the bottle had been moments ago. Ryeowook accepted it greedily, sucking happily, eyes closed again. Chansung stared, still surprised by the joy the other man seemed to be displaying with the pacifier in his mouth.

There was a quick rap on the door before the doctor walked in, chart in hand. 

"Mr. Kim?"

Chansung nodded at the man on the bed.

"Mr. Kim, could you sit up for me, please?" The doctor approached the bed. "How are you feeling?"

Ryeowook gingerly sat up, wincing. His movement woke Ga In. She yawned and sat up. As soon as she saw the pacifier in her boyfriend's mouth, she shot a murderous glare at Chansung, knowing that it had to be his doing. Embarrassed for her boyfriend, she reached over and plucked the thing from his mouth. 

"Hey!" Ryeowook protested as he sat up slowly to prevent dizziness.

"Chansung." Ga In was still glaring at the big man. "Doctor, I'm concerned that Ryeowook's recovery is being hampered by things like this." She indicated the pacifier in her hand.

"You sustained an oral injury?" The doctor consulted the chart.

"No." Ryeowook said, embarrassed but trying to ignore it.

"If you don't attempt to do things, you'll never be able to--"

"Stop. Please." Ryeowook sighed into his hands. "Please. Go. Chansung. Ga In. Go."

Ga In and Chansung reluctantly did as he said, waiting in the hallway beside the closed door. The doctor examined Ryeowook.

"Any change with the incontinence?" The doctor asked, noting the diaper.

"Uhm..." Ryeowook was burning up with shame. "I'm--I'm not...incontinent. I...I just..."

"Okay." The doctor made a note on Ryeowook's chart. "We won't need to do those x-rays, then. Are you having trouble making it to the toilet in time?"

"...I...no..."

"Okay. Follow my finger with your eyes, keep your head still." The doctor continued with the exam.

Meanwhile, in the hallway, Ga In and Chansung were trying to keep their conversation unemotional. 

"I'm just concerned for his recovery." Ga In explained. "Why on earth did you give him a pacifier?!"

"He insisted on it." Chansung told her. "It calmed him immediately. I don't know why."

"He's a grown man, Chansung! He never used a damn pacifier before the accident. He needs to know that he's capable of drinking from a cup and using the toilet. We're doing him a disservice by coddling him and treating him like a toddler! He must be mortified!"

"He certainly wasn't when he got that pacifier." Chansung swallowed his frustration. "I know he's embarrassed about the diapers, Ga In. He'll stop using them as soon as possible, no matter what you or I do. He doesn't want to need them."

"I don't understand you, Chansung." She blurted.

"You act like he doesn't want to recover." Chansung said. "I don't understand that. He's capable of whatever he needs to do. Stop treating him like he's not."

"You're the one treating him that way--giving a grown man a pacifier."

"If it helps with the pain, then what's the harm? He was suffering."

"We're just not going to see eye to eye on this, Ga In."

"I know." She sighed. "I wish we did. I know you're very important to Ryeowook."

"I think we should agree not to talk about this in front of him."

"I agree." She held her hand out and he accepted it. 

Back in the room, Ryeowook was feeling both a bit relieved at finally admitting that he didn't actually need the diapers and yet terrified that he'd finally admitted it. After the doctor went over Ryeowook's restrictions with him, Ryeowook spoke up.

"Please don't tell them."

"Mr. Kim, your privacy is protected. We don't disclose your medical records to anyone that you have not authorized."

"Not that part..." Ryeowook felt like he'd been blushing nonstop since the doctor came into the room. "...about the..." Ryeowook gestured at his lap. "That I didn't need to wear these."

"I'm not here to judge you." The doctor assured him, though it was obvious she didn't understand his choice to wear diapers. And with that, the doctor left the room. 

Ryeowook took a deep breath, waiting for Ga In and Chansung to come back. They were coming back, weren't they? Why on earth had he insisted on a pacifier? He groaned, embarrassed. 


	20. Twenty

Ryeowook heard the door open. He didn't look up. Ga In sat beside him on the bed, her head on his shoulder.

"What did the doctor say?" She asked, reaching over to thread her fingers thru his. 

"Have to stay over night." Ryeowook answered. 

"Okay. You can go home in the morning? That's good."

"Chansung left?"

"He said he'd be back."

Ryeowook yawned, lying back on the bed, releasing his girlfriend's hand. He was getting sleepy again. He wondered how far back he'd slipped in his recovery with that fall in the shower. And he didn't even get the shower sex. Not fair.

"Get some rest, babe. I need to get to work, okay?" Ga In kissed his forehead. 

"Okay." Ryeowook closed his eyes, feeling exhausted.

After Ga In left the room, she met Chansung in the hallway. They both paused, eyeing each other.

"He says he has to stay over night. I have to go to work."

"I'll stay with him until you get back." Chansung told her.

"Call me tomorrow morning." She told him. "I have class tomorrow, so I need sleep. Ryeowook says the doctor says he's okay."

Chansung stepped into the room, closing the door behind him. Ryeowook was lying in bed, curled up on his side, eyes shut tight. Chansung turned some of the lights off and eventually made his way to the bedside. The man in bed sighed and twitched. Was he in pain? 

The tall man let out a sigh of his own as he gazed down at his best friend. He knew he shouldn't--had no right to--but he brushed the other man's hair from his forehead. He retracted his hand before he gave in to temptation to touch him further. He felt guilty enough for that slight brush, as his intentions were purely selfish.

Ryeowook whimpered in his sleep, brows furrowed. Chansung glanced down at his hand. It held the newly purchased, freshly washed pacifier. He was sure Ga In had either thrown the pacifier away for taken it with her and thrown it away. He wondered if he should offer it to Ryeowook.

When Ryeowook made noise for the third time, Chansung decided he should. 

When Ryeowook opened his eyes, the room was dimly lit and silent. Chansung was slumped in a chair, chin resting on his chest, eyes closed. Ryeowook yawned and the pacifier fell onto his lap. What? Hadn't Ga In taken it with her? Maybe his memory was off. He thought he'd dreamt the whole thing. 

Ryeowook watched Chansung sleep for a bit. He wondered how the other man was doing. Ryeowook sighed as his thoughts turned to Ga In. She obviously was greatly disappointed in Ryeowook. He wondered if he'd have to give up the diapers, pacifiers, and bottles forever. He sighed. The thought was awful. 

He wanted to stay with her--live with her, maybe marry her. But, how could he when he'd have to pretend he didn't want to ever wear a diaper again? If he could deny this part of himself, he would have done so long before he'd met Ga In. He didn't want to want this! 

"You okay?" Chansung asked, concerned with the frown on his friend's face.

"Shit!" Ryeowook startled. 

Chansung chuckled. "Sorry. Are you in pain?"

"I'm okay." Ryeowook sighed and laid back against the disappointing pillow found in all hospitals. "Just thinking about stuff."

"You thirsty? Hungry?"

"Thirsty." He admitted.

Chansung held the bottle out to his friend. Ryeowook accepted. Chansung watched as he drank. It was another purely selfish action. How he wished those lips were on his skin. 

"What were you thinking so hard about?" Chansung asked.

Ryeowook handed the bottle back to his friend, closing his eyes again. He couldn't have this conversation while looking at Chansung.

"Do you wish you weren't gay?"

Chansung was surprised. He hadn't expected that question. 

"Would you try to pretend you didn't want another guy because it was too embarrassing? That's why you never told me, right?"

When there was no answer, Ryeowook opened his eyes and looked. Chansung stared at him. He opened his mouth once to answer but nothing came out and he closed it again.

"You never told me you were gay because you were embarrassed, right? You wished you weren't gay?" Ryeowook tried again.

"I..." Chansung considered. "I was afraid of your reaction, I guess. I don't really want anybody to know. I mean, it's not really their business. I don't want to hear stupid comments. I don't want guys I know to think I'm trying to get them into bed or something. I just want to continue being me without any stupid pressure."

Ryeowook nodded at each statement. "I can sorta understand that."

Chansung just looked at him.

"I mean...there's something I want but...I'm afraid...ya know?"

Chansung suddenly felt a bit too warm. What he wanted was right there in front of him. What a wonderful fantasy to imagine that Ryeowook was saying he wanted Chansung, too.

"I don't get it." Chansung said, cringing at how lame he sounded. "Are you talking about like a job or something?"

Ryeowook studied his fingers. "No...it's just..." He took a deep breath and the words tumbled out. "Why do I have to be scared of liking of what I like? I mean, yeah it doesn't make sense, but so what? I wouldn't treat someone like a freak just because I thought they did something weird or liked something weird."

"What are you talking about?" Chansung listened to his friend babble about who knows what. 

Ryeowook was absent mindedly fiddling with the pacifier as he sweated. Should he tell Chansung? Would Chansung think he was disgusting? Breathing was getting laborious. 

"Ryeowook." Chansung said a bit firmly. 

Ryeowook looked at his friend again, his fingers still busy.

"It's okay. You can tell me anything."

Ryeowook's eyes went down again, studying the object in his hands. He couldn't, could he? No, no. Cause once he let those words out, he couldn't take them back. Chansung would always know. Every time he looked at Ryeowook, he would know. 

But, wasn't that what Chansung was thinking when the man confided in him? Still, admitting an attraction to the same sex was way different than saying I like to wear diapers.

"Ryeowook." Chansung laid his hand over his friend's, feeling the other man's discomfort. 

"But--but what if you think I'm a freak? I just...I want to quit being afraid of you finding out. I'm tired."

"You didn't think I was a freak when I told you I was gay, right? I wouldn't do that to you, just like you wouldn't do it to me."

"I can't." Ryeowook choked. 

"You don't have to tell me anything." Chansung assured him. "It's okay."

"You didn't think I was weird when I wanted...when I..." Ryeowook held up the pacifier. 

Chansung looked at it. And then it dawned on him. Ryeowook felt embarrassed because he'd told Chansung he wanted a pacifier and he'd used it. 

"Ryeowook." When the other man didn't move, he repeated himself. "Ryeowook."

Ryeowook looked at his friend with teary, scared eyes. Chansung grabbed the pacifier and put it in his own mouth. Ryeowook snatched it away from his friend.

"Don't mock me!" He snapped, his fears coming true.

"Ryeowook!" Chansung held his friend's shoulders. "Look at me."

Ryeowook managed to do so, face red, fear in his eyes, cheeks wet. 

"I'm not mocking you. I'm not making fun of you. I'm showing you it's no big deal. Don't sweat it."

Ryeowook stared, searching his best friend's face to see if this was true or if he was just saying it to calm him. 

"I've got a thing for a guy, you don't. You've got a thing for pacifiers, I don't. So what?"

Ryeowook gave a small nod, accepting Chansung's sincerity. Relief flooded thru him. He was so very glad. He didn't need to hide at least this little thing from his best friend.

"Don't tell Ga In." He added quickly. "Please."

"Okay." Chansung agreed easily. 

Ryeowook smiled. He was totally lucky when it came to best friends. He had the best.


	21. twenty-one

Chansung said nothing more as Ryeowook drifted off to sleep again. He sat silently in the chair, watching the other man enjoy the pacifier in his mouth. His mind, however, was not as calm. Why did Ryeowook want to use a pacifier? Chansung sort of understood when Ryeowook was in pain and suffering the effects of his concussion, but why when he was lucid and the pain was under control? He had assured Ryeowook that it was fine because he could see how scared his friend was, but in reality Chansung did find it a little strange. Was Ryeowook regressing because he had to use diapers and a baby bottle? Did that even make sense? No. Chansung shook his head at the absurdity of his own thoughts. 

Both men slept for a few hours. Ryeowook awoke first.

"Chansung." He whined. "Chansung."

The larger man stirred and eventually opened his eyes.

"Chansung." Ryeowook repeated.

"What's wrong?" 

"It hurts." Ryeowook spoke with the pacifier between his lips. 

"I'll let one of the nurses know." Chansung stood and stretched. "Are you thirsty?"

Ryeowook nodded and Chansung left the room. Chansung returned with a nurse. The nurse put something into Ryeowook's IV before leaving the room. Chansung handed his friend a water bottle--a regular, plain water bottle. Ryeowook looked at his friend, unimpressed and feeling a tad grumpy due to the pain.

"Chansuuuunnnng!" Ryeowook kicked the mattress once with his heel. 

"Are you throwing a fit right now?" The tall man raised his eyebrow.

Ryeowook dropped the water bottle on the floor and rolled over, facing away from Chansung.

"Ryeowook." Chansung laid one of his large hands on the smaller man's shoulder with a gentle massage. "Does it hurt that much?"

"Yes."

"Come here." Chansung gave in. He held the baby bottle to his friend's lips. 

Ryeowook drank, eyes closed. 

"Thank you." 

"You're welcome. Do you want some help getting to the toilet?" Chansung asked, choosing his words carefully. He remembered what the doctor had said the day of Ryeowook's car accident. They were supposed to encourage Ryeowook to be independent again. 

"Yes." Ryeowook replied meekly. He wasn't lying when he told Chansung he was in pain. He didn't even want to open his eyes due to the headache. 

Chansung helped Ryeowook to his feet and gently guided him to the toilet. He noticed that Ryeowook kept his eyes closed. He turned red as he pushed Ryeowook's pants down and removed the diaper. 

"Jeez, Wook. If we'd waited any longer you would have leaked." Chansung observed as he dropped the heavy diaper into the trash. 

Ryeowook blushed and opened his eyes just long enough to find the toilet and sat. Chansung stepped out of the small room.

"Let me know when you're done."

Ryeowook sighed and dropped his head into his hands. This was crazy. It was all crazy. He was fucking crazy. The craziest. Was it time to end this?

Chansung's phone rang. It was Ga In.

"Hello."

"Good morning." She was polite. "How is Ryeowook?"

"He's okay, still in pain. I'll have him call you back. He's using the toilet right now."

"That's good news!" Ga In was pleased.

"Yeah. He'll call you back soon." Chansung ended the call. 

"Chansung."

The named man opened the door. Ryeowook dried his hands and looked to his friend.

"I feel a little dizzy."

"Come on." Chansung took Ryeowook's elbow and steered him twoard the bed. He let go as soon as Ryeowook was safely in bed. 

"Ryeowook..." 

"What?"

"I was just wondering..." Chansung bit his lip. 

"What's wrong?" 

"Nothing. I'm just curious. You don't have to answer me, of course."

"What?"

"Why...what do you like about...pacifiers?"

Ryeowook looked away. "It's calming."

"Oh."

"What do you like about being gay?"

"What?" Chansung blurted. 

"Only fair to ask."

Chansung chuckled before he answered. "It's not that I enjoy being gay. I just fell for a guy."

"What do you like about him?"

"I'm wondering that a lot lately. He's been difficult."

"So dump him."

"It's not that easy to give up on something you like. Do you find the diapers calming, too?"

Ryeowook felt like the air was sucked out of the room. He could hear his heartbeat in his ears. It was hard to breathe. His face got hot. 

"And the baby bottle?" Chansung prodded. "You find that relaxing, too."

Ryeowook started to sweat. 

"Did it start because you had to use the diapers and bottle? Stupid question. Sorry."

Ryeowook risked a glance at his friend. "You think I'm crazy."

"You think I'm crazy because I want another man?" 

"No. I don't really get it, that's all."

"Likewise." Chansung laid a hand on his friend's arm. "Please tell me. Do you still need the diapers or are you using them because you like them?"

Ryeowook took a deep breath. "I like them." He closed his eyes, waiting for the rejection and exclamation of disgust. 

"Does Ga In know?"

"No!" Ryeowook blurted. "She's grossed out about it. I can't--she can't know!"

"Okay. It's okay." Chansung patted his arm. "I won't tell her."

Silence blanketed them for a moment, each lost in his own thoughts. 

"Ryeowook." Chansung took a deep breath. "I..."

"You're mad at me for pretending I needed them."

"No." Chansung said truthfully. "I...I liked it."

"Liked what?"

Chansung turned his friend to face him. "I liked taking care of you. I'll keep doing it if you want."

Ryeowook stared at him, shocked. He thought Chansung would be angry at him for lying. He thought Chansung would be disgusted that his friend liked to wear diapers. But, Chansung liked diapering him? He liked giving him the baby bottle? Why the fuck would Chansung enjoy that?!

Ryeowook gasped when he realized it. HIs eyes widened as he continued to stare. 

"Chansung..."

"What's...Ryeowook?" Chansung was concerned. Ryeowook didn't look well. 

"Is there a diaper in that backpack?" Ryeowook indicated the bag his friend had brought with him.

"Yeah. You want one now?"

"Yes." Ryeowook managed not to moan the answer. He worked hard to keep his breathing steady as Chansung retrieved a diaper and unfolded it. He held his breath as he lifted his hips and Chansung slid the garment under him. He willed himself to at least appear to remain clam as Chansung pulled the front of the diaper up and taped it in place. 

"Better?" Chansung asked.

Ryeowook nodded. 

"Come here." Ryeowook said.

"Hmm?" Chansung came around to the side of the bed and leaned over a bit. "Something wrong?"

"Your reward." Ryeowook told him and grabbed his friend's face in his hands. 

"Wha--"

Ryeowook pressed his lips to his friend's. Chansung was too shocked to move, at first. Ryeowook pulled back and smiled.

"You said you didn't have any experience with guys. It's a big deal, what you're doing for me. I wanted to give you something important in return. Only my best friend could accept this weird thing of mine."

Chansung pulled back, mouth hanging open. "What? What the fuck? That--that's..." He sputtered. 

Ryeowook chuckled. "Relax."

"Oh. Uhm, Ga In called. I told her you'd call back." Chansung managed and held his phone out to Ryeowook.

"Thanks." Ryeowook chuckled at his friend's reaction. The big man was cute.


	22. twenty-two

"Hello?"

"Hey, hon." Ryeowook greeted his lover.

"Wookie!" Came the exclamation thru the phone. "How are you feeling?"

"Okay. Sore and dizzy."

"You sound good, babe."

"You have class today?"

"Yes. When are you going home?"

"Don't know yet. I'll call you, okay?"

"Okay, babe. Love you!" She ended the call.

Ryeowook handed the phone back to his friend, all smiles. He was in a good mood. Chansung accepted his secret desire. It was more than he'd ever imagined. Yes, it would be loads better if Ga In would accept it, but he figured that was asking too much of life.

It wasn't much later that breakfast arrived. When the two men were alone again, Chansung took the cover off the plate and moved the table to Ryeowook.

"Want me to feed you?"

Ryeowook was doing cartwheels of joy in his head. Oh fuck yes he wanted to be fed, thank you very much! 

"That would be nice." Ryeowook managed to sound calm, though his blush probably gave him away.

Chansung cut up his friend's waffle and proceeded to feed it to him. Ryeowook's body was humming with happy energy. He was living out his dreams. 

"Thirsty." He said after a number of bites. 

Chansung opened the milk, inserting a straw, holding the carton as Ryeowook drank. At one point, Chansung put out a forkful of scrambled eggs. Ryeowook clamped his lips shut and shook his head.

"Are you full?" Chansung chuckled.

"I want to go home." Ryeowook pouted. He loved being able to let go like this. 

"We're just waiting for the doctor." Chansung assured him. 

"I don't want to go back to Mom and Dad's place." Ryeowook explained. "I want to go back to my own bed and my own room in my own apartment."

"Oh." Chansung felt sorry for Ryeowook. "Can you handle everything by yourself now? It would be very bad if you fell again."

"I know." Ryeowook sighed. "No more showers for a while. That's for sure."

"I don't want to worry about you." Chansung couldn't let this go. "I know your parents and Ga In want to know you're okay while you recover. Please, just stay at their place for at least a few more days?"

"It'll be okay. Ga In lives close."

Chansung bit his tongue to keep from blurting out what came to mind about the woman. Ryeowook knew his friend well enough to read his expressions, however.

"You blame her." Ryeowook noted. "I admit I shouldn't have tried to take a shower."

"So why did you?"

"Because I wanted sex."

Chansung looked away. "And what are you going to do next time?"

Ryeowook sighed. Yes he wanted to go back to his place but that meant no more diapers and being spoiled by Chansung. Ga In had made it clear that she wasn't going to give him sex until there were no more diapers and no more baths. How was he going to eventually give up on diapers? How much would be enough for him?

"I don't mean to pressure you--" Chansung was concerned.

Ryeowook sighed again and pushed the table away, pulling the thin blanket over his head. Chansung raised an eyebrow.

"Are you throwing a fit again?"

Ryeowook kicked the bed. He was frustrated and saw some relief. He wasn't too proud to take advantage of it.

"Ryeowook." Chansung said.

Ryeowook whined and kicked the bed again. He shouldn't be doing this to his best friend, but he was feeling so selfish and needy. It was at that moment a nurse walked in with discharge papers. Chansung tugged the blanket down so Ryeowook could see. Ryeowook sat up straight, eager to sign the papers and get out of there. 

As the nurse went over the paperwork with the patient, Chansung gathered up their things. The nurse left and an orderly appeared with a wheelchair. Chansung helped Ryeowook to it and left to get his car.

The drive back to Ryeowook's parents' place was silent. Ryeowook wanted his own bed in his own apartment, but he knew that probably wasn't the best right now. Also, the temptation of Chansung spoiling him was very strong. He wondered what Chansung would have done if the nurse hadn't come into the room just then. 

Chansung parked in his neighbor's drive and grabbed the backpack. He realized Ryeowook wasn't following him, so he went back and opened the car door. 

"I know you want to go back home, but you need to stay here for a couple days, Ryeowook. Please don't be difficult."

Ryeowook looked up at his friend. "I was just waiting for you to open the door."

"Spoiled brat." Chansung laughed as Ryeowook cracked a smile.

Inside the house, Ryeowook made himself comfortable on the couch and turned on the TV. Chansung soon settled next to him. 

"Anything good on?" Chansung asked.

"Not really." Ryeowook answered. He watched Chansung for a moment before reaching over with one hand and threading his fingers thru his friend's, his eyes back on the TV.

Chansung's eyes went wide. He stared at their joined hands and then at Ryeowook. Ryeowook's attention was elsewhere, looking as if nothing was out of the ordinary.

"Wh--what are you doing?!" Chansung blurted.

Ryeowook simply smiled at him. "Your reward for spoiling me this morning."

Chansung flushed. 

"You should be careful." Ryeowook told him with a chuckle. "If any guy sees you being cute like this, he's going to eat you up."

Chansung was surprised that he didn't spontaneously combust. 

"What about you?" Chansung stuttered bravely, making Ryeowook's smile just a bit bigger.

"Me?" Ryeowook feigned confusion. "What man in his right mind is going to think I'm cute?"

"You're way cuter than I've ever been." Chansung raised a skeptical eyebrow. 

"You're the one blushing like a school girl."

"Shut up." Chansung grumbled. 

Ryeowook went back to the TV show, giving Chansung some peace, but not letting go of his hand.

"Weren't you supposed to call Ga In?" 

"Oh. Right." Ryeowook had forgotten.


	23. twenty-three

Ga In wasn't answering her phone, most likely because she was in class, so Ryeowook left her a message. Guilt was nagging at him, but he kept pushing it away. He knew that he was being unfair to everyone but himself. He was coming to realize that in order to make things right again, he'd have to give up the things he wanted. Part of him kept sneaking ideas in, though. He could buy and hide diapers and use them when nobody was around. He would love to have Ga In change him, or at least be okay with him wearing diapers, but that wasn't going to happen. Chansung was more than willing, but that created even more issues.

Chansung. His best friend in the whole world. The man who gave selflessly to him. Yet here he was taking advantage of him. He glanced down at their clasped hands. Was he hurting Chansung even more when he kissed him and by holding hands with him? He knew Chansung wanted these things, that's why Ryeowook had done them. But he also knew Chansung wanted much more and he couldn't give that to his friend. 

"What's wrong?" Chansung's voice brought Ryeowook out of his troubled thoughts.

"Hmm?"

"You're sighing and you look upset. Do you want something?"

The concern in Chansung's voice was unmistakable. The guilt stabbed at Ryeowook. He felt relieved after he'd confessed to Chansung about not needing diapers, but that relief was gone now. He was using Chansung.

"Ryeowook!" Chansung was alarmed. He reached out and wiped a tear that Ryeowook didn't even know he'd shed. "What's wrong?"

"I'm sorry." Ryeowook groaned. "I'm so sorry."

"About what?" Chansung was at a loss. "It's okay, Ryeowook. I'm not mad at you or anything. Is it about Ga In? Did something happen?" Chansung wondered if Ga In had given the man another ultimatum concerning the diapers.

"You have lousy taste in men." Ryeowook managed, pulling his hand from his friend's. "I'll be okay, Chansung. I'll be careful and take baths. I'll go back to my apartment. If I need anything, I'll have my roommates or Ga In--"

"No! You need to take this slow, Ryeowook. You don't need to fall again! What if Ga In hadn't been there? You would have been in that bathtub for who knows how long!"

"No. I can't do this to you anymore." Ryeowook resolved. "I'll have Ga In come get me after class. Thank you, Chansung. I mean it."

"What? No! Ryeowook, this isn't up to you. Your parents--"

"Despite liking diapers and bottles and pacifiers, I am a grown man, Chansung." Ryeowook's voice was almost a growl. 

"Ryeowook!" Chansung gaped. "I didn't mean it like that!"

"Just go, Chansung. Please. If I need anything before Ga In gets here, I'll call. I promise."

"You said you were okay with me being gay." Chansung said quietly as he stood. 

The guilt ripped at Ryeowook's heart. He was hurting Chansung again. 

"I am." Ryeowook assured him. "I just...I just want to be a man again. I don't want to rely on others anymore."

"You're injured. It's okay. Lean on others until you're fully recovered."

"I will. I'll lean." Ryeowook looked up. "It's not about you being gay. I promise."

Chansung watched him for a bit. "I know when you're lying."

"Bullshit." Ryeowook blurted. "You didn't know I didn't need the diapers and bottle until I told you."

"This is different. This is just you talking to me. You're lying. This is about me liking a guy." Chansung countered.

"Chansung," Ryeowook tried desperately to convey his sincerity. "I am telling you the truth. I just want to get better without depending on you so much." 

Chansung watched him a bit longer before turning and walking away. The door closing behind him as he left was more than Ryeowook could take. He wanted to call Chansung back. Diapers or not, Chansung was his best friend and he wanted the man's company. But he couldn't. It wasn't fair. 

Ryeowook felt like the lowest man in the universe. That moment, in the hospital, when Chansung told him he liked taking care of Ryeowook--that was the moment. The moment that Ryeowook searched for a reason that Chansung could possibly enjoy it, he realized that the man Chansung wanted was Ryeowook. He knew and he'd kissed Chansung anyway, telling himself that it was a favor for his friend. What a fucking jerk he was. 

No more diapers. No more bottles or pacifiers. Ryeowook didn't deserve them. His out of control desire for those things had caused him to lie to his girlfriend and best friend. His selfish craving had led him to use his best friend, despite the pain it caused that friend. Surely getting a kiss and holding hands with--seeing him naked! Ryeowook shook his head. Chansung's self control was impressive. 


	24. twenty-four

Chansung stumbled from the neighbors' front door to his bedroom, ignoring everything around him. He collapsed onto his floor, not even making it to his bed. He had fucked everything up. He should have never told Ryeowook he was gay. He wasn't gay, really....was he? He was only attracted to Ryeowook--nobody else, man or woman. But he couldn't tell Ryeowook that! Ryeowook was straight. Ryeowook had a girl friend. Only a complete asshole would confess to someone who was happy in a relationship. Chansung liked to think he wasn't a complete asshole. 

 

Ga In listened to the two messages from her lover. The first was to let her know Ryeowook had been released from the hospital. She smiled at the news. The second message was Ryeowook asking her to come get him from his parents' place. He wanted to go back to his own place.  Before she could call Ryeowook, her phone rang. Chansung.

"Hello?"

"Ryeowook wants to go back to his apartment." Chansung's voice was different.

"I just got his message, yes."

"He's doing better but I'm worried about him. Please, please, Ga In, make sure he doesn't push himself."

"I won't. I just want him to get better. He doesn't need pac--"

"I won't be around." Chansung stopped her. "I won't be there to take care of him. You have to do it. I'm begging you, go easy on him."

Ga In didn't know what to say. Chansung wasn't going to be around?

"Did you two fight?" Ga In wondered.

"No. I just have some things to do." It was a lame line and they both knew it. 

"Why are you deserting him?" Ga In accused. 

"Just take good care of him." Chansung ended the call. It fucking hurt, but this had to be done.

 

 

Ryeowook woke up when Ga In rang the door bell. He'd been expecting her. He had already thrown away all the diapers. He was ready to get on with his life.

 

Ryeowook used Ga In's phone to send Chansung a text letting him know that he'd arrived at his apartment safely. He really needed to get his own phone replaced. Ga In was thrilled. Ryeowook looked good and he wasn't wearing a diaper. They ordered some food and ate at his apartment. 

They were cuddling on the couch when his room mates came home.

"Wookie!" Was their greeting.

Shin Se Kyung and her boyfriend Park Hyung Sik were all smiles as they greeted their friends. They shared careful hugs with Ryeowook.

"You look good." Se Kyung told him. "I was so worried about you."

"We both were." Hyung Sik added. 

"I'm okay." Ryeowook assured them, sitting again. "There's leftovers in the fridge, if you want."

"We ate out, thanks. What are you guys watching?"

They watched TV together for a while, until Hyung Sik started to yawn. It was contagious and soon the couple decided to retire to bed. Ryeowook looked at his girlfriend.

"I'm tired too, babe."

"Okay, hon." Ga In kissed her handsome man. 

"You want to sleep here?"

"I'd love to."

 

 

Chansung wondered if Ryeowook was okay. Was Ga In taking good care of him? Would she make sure he wasn't alone until he fully recovered? 

He rolled over yet again. Sleep couldn't find him tonight. He missed Ryeowook already. He was hopelessly in love with a straight man, a taken man. This was Chansung's problem. This was his fault. He needed to get over this. 

Fuck this. Chansung got out of bed and turned his lap top on. Was he gay or straight? Something in between? 

And thus, Chansung wasted at least an hour of his life perusing porn to see what turned him on. Turned out, sex turned him on. 

Not helpful. 

 

 

Ryeowook woke to breakfast in bed. Ga In didn't feed him. She didn't offer help of any kind. Ryeowook felt like a man again as he ate like an adult. After breakfast, he took a bath. Ga In didn't nag him about a shower this time. 

 

Ryeowook and Ga In went out to get a new phone for him. The first thing he did is text Chansung to let him know. He got a one word reply "cool". 

 

A week later, Ryeowook was back at work. After he took his first shower, he and Ga In made love. 

 

Chansung went on a date. Actually, he went on a few dates--twice with women and once with a man. None of them felt right. They weren't bad experiences, just not what he was looking for in a partner.

 

Ryeowook's parents came home from their cruise. Ryeowook made the trip to see them. They were overjoyed to see their son fully recovered from his accident. He listened to their tales of the cruise, smiling at their excitement.

The longer he stayed at his parents' place, the stronger an idea became. Chansung might still have a couple of his diapers. Chansung had some in his backpack the last time Ryeowook was in the hospital. Chansung had the bottle and pacifier, too. All Ryeowook needed to do was go next door. The idea took over. The excitement of a diaper being that close made his body tingle. He wanted it. He wanted it so bad. He wanted that softness encasing him again. He craved that comfort. He hadn't wanted it until now. He'd been too busy with work and Ga In and trying to be a man again. But, now the desire was taking over again. Surely it wouldn't be a problem to use up the few remaining diapers Chansung had. 

 

Chansung was expecting a visitor, thus he opened the door without thinking much, other than "he's early." But instead of the expected visitor, there stood Ryeowook. 

Their contact had been limited to short text messages, since Ryeowook had gone back to his apartment. Chansung was glad Ryeowook looked healthy. He had worried.

"Hey." Ryeowook said.

"Hey." Chansung mimicked.

"Is it okay if I come in? You're guarding the door like a dragon in a cave."

Chansung laughed, feeling more comfortable and stepped back. Ryeowook closed the door behind him. 

"I, uhm, I was wondering if, well--are your parents home?" Ryeowook looked around. 

"Yeah."

"Can we talk in your room?"

Chansung led the way, wondering what on earth was going on with his friend. 

"Thanks." Ryeowook sat in his friend's desk chair. "That backpack that you put my stuff in...you still have my stuff?"

Chansung wasn't sure what his friend was talking about. "What stuff?"

"You know..." It still embarrassed Ryeowook to speak of. "The pacifer...and stuff."

"Oh." Chansung understood now. "Yeah, I've still got a few diapers, your pacifier, and your bottle. You want them?" 

Chansung stood and went to his closet, pulling out the back pack. He handed it to Ryeowook. Ryeowook unzipped the bag and looked inside. The white plastic called to him. He tried to remain calm. 

"Chansung! Junho is here!" Called out a woman's voice, Chasung's mother.

Ryeowook looked at his friend. He hadn't heard the name Junho before. He zipped the bag closed as Chansung went to his bedroom door and opened it. The man on the other side was cute. Ryeowook saw this Junho guy smile at Chansung. He watched as this Junho person hugged Chansung and laughed at something he said. 

"Junho, this is Ryeowook. I told you about him." Chansung introduced.

Ryeowook nodded.

"Junho and I had plans, but we can reschedule." Chansung explained. "It's been a while since you and I have hung out."

"That would be rude to Junho." Ryeowook said, diapers forgotten. "You guys do whatever. I was planning on going back home soon, anyway." He didn't mean to sound curt, but maybe the end of his statement came out that way.

Junho's eyebrows raised as he watched Ryeowook brush past them. Chansung apologized quickly and jogged after Ryeowook. He caught up with him outside the front door.

"Wook!" Chansung grabbed his arm. "I didn--"

"Is he your boyfriend?" Ryeowook turned to his friend. His voice was almost accusatory.

"N-no. I mean, we went on a date, but it's not romantic between us." Chansung was a bit taken aback. "He's not the guy I told you about--the one I like."

"Then why did you go on a date with him?" Ryeowook demanded, knowing full well he was being an ass again.

"What?" Chansung was confused. "I...I was lonely. The guy I like doesn't like me. I thought dating would be a good way to move on."

"Did you sleep with him?"

Chansung just stared. What was this about? Ryeowook tried again.

"Did you two have sex?"

"What--why would that matter, Wook? I don't ask you about your sex life!"

"He's jealous." Came a third voice.

Ryeowook flushed with embarrassment as Junho inserted himself in the conversation.

"No he's not." Chansung explained. "He's straight and he's got a beautiful girlfriend."

"I'm telling you." Junho said easily. "This man is jealous. He's worried that you and I fucked. He's jealous. He wants to be the one with you."

"You don't even fucking know me!" Ryeowook snapped at him and stalked away. 

Chansung, even more confused, looked from his best friend to his new friend and back again. What the fuck was going on?


	25. twenty-five

Ryeowook drove straight home. His mind was a mess, a tsunami of unwanted thoughts. Chansung was over him already? Was Ryeowook that easily forgotten? No, wait. That was a stupid question. He wanted Chansung to get over him. He didn't want Chansung to experience the pain of one sided love. He knew he'd hurt Chansung by using him, despite knowing his friend was attracted to him. He had gone back home to give Chansung the time and space, the freedom, to get over him. And it appeared Chansung had, so why the fuck would Ryeowook be an asshole about it?

Ryeowook heard his phone going off, but he couldn't possibly talk to Chansung right now. He knew his outburst was fucking unreasonable. He would apologize later. He couldn't deal with his own behavior right now. He certainly couldn't expect anyone else to!

When he got back to his apartment, he dropped the backpack in his bedroom and locked the door. The contents of the bag were calling to him. He was stressed and wanted that comfort. He'd get back to being an adult later. 

Ryeowook started to sweat. He could hear every noise in the apartment and even imagined noises. His heart was pounding as he pulled the much sought after items out of the bag. He put the pacifier in his mouth immediately, eyes rolling back as relief and pleasure washed over him. Yes, this was what he needed. 

Ryeowook unfolded the diaper as quietly as possible, not sure how much could be heard beyond his bedroom door. He quickly shucked his pants and underwear and positioned his naked ass on the diaper. It felt like it'd been forever since his skin had felt the softness of that padding. Fuck. Why had he given this up? This felt great.

Ryeowook bit the pacifier and shivered as he pulled the front of the diaper up between his legs. He winced at the loud noise the tapes made, hoping that nobody else heard. He thought of some excuse to make for the noise, should anyone ask,  but was distracted and soon gave up on that. The sensation of his most sensitive organs encased in the confines of the plastic backed garment was more than his worries could take. He had missed this. Oh how he'd missed this.

Ryeowook sat up and wiggled his ass, the crinkling sound soothed his troubled mind. He let out a happy sigh and moved his hips forward and back. He wanted to fully enjoy the sound, but didn't want to risk anyone else hearing it. 

A sudden thought caused a moment of panic. He had forgotten about the window! He snatched the pacifier from his mouth and looked at the window, heart thumping dangerously. 

The blinds were closed. Ryeowook breathed a sigh of relief. He couldn't let anyone catch him. Never. 

Ryeowook tried to relax again. He was safe for the moment. He put the pacifier between his lips and laid back on the floor, his hands exploring the outer shell of the diaper. He was in heaven. He debated for a moment whether to urinate in the diaper or not. If he didn't, he could reuse this diaper. But, it had been so long since he'd last used a diaper that the idea sounded like a far too tempting one. 

Ryeowook got on his knees and closed his eyes, concentrating on letting it all go. It took a moment, but finally the hot stream of urine was soaked up by the thirsty padding. Ryeowook moaned as the heat wrapped around him and the diaper swelled. He opened his eyes and looked down, watched the dryness indicator disappear. Fuck. He palmed the front of the diaper. It felt wonderful.

Ryeowook rubbed , biting down on the pacifier as he got more excited. The heat combined with the excitement of finally being in a diaper again, along with the sound of the plastic soon had his member throbbing. 

Ryeowook let out another moan, his hand moving faster, nearly erratically as he got closer to orgasm. He sort of wanted to drag this out and enjoy it as long as possible, especially because he didn't know when he'd get this opportunity again. But he also was concerned about getting caught. There was no way to explain this. So, he kept moving his hand, groaning as quietly as possible until his body reached the point he'd been chasing. He doubled over as he reached orgasm, body shuddering. 

Ryeowook let out a long breath, falling back. Fuck that was good but now...

Now Ryeowook felt like a total freak. He just fucking came in a wet diaper. What kind of insane perv was he?! Ryeowook ripped the diaper off and shoved it into the backpack. He'd deal with it later. He spit the pacifier into it also. He pulled his clothing back on and collapsed onto his bed. 

Fuck. He was never doing that again. 

 

Chansung couldn't believe it. Junho was reading this situation all wrong. It was understandable, as Junho didn't know Ryeowook like he did. 

"He's been under a lot of stress." Chasung explained.

"You're only trying to convince yourself." Junho told him easily. He didn't have a stake in this.

 

A day later, Ga In woke up when her boyfriend came into the room after his shower. She watched his perfect body as he got dressed for work. They shared a parting kiss and off he went. She couldn't manage to fall back asleep, so she stretched and sat up. She saw her phone on the floor and bent over to pick up. When she did so, she caught a whiff of something unpleasant. 

She assumed Ryeowook must have left some dirty laundry or dishes in his room somewhere. It certainly wouldn't be the first time. She glanced around but didn't find anything. Maybe under the bed? Ga In noticed the odor was stronger under the piece of furniture. She examined the few items under the bed and narrowed it down to a back pack that smelled of urine. She didn't recognize the bag. This wasn't one of Ryeowook's. Why was it under his bed?

Ga In turned her head after she unzipped the bag. It stunk! She held her breath and looked inside. Oh my! That was certainly the culprit--a used diaper. She assumed the bag must belong to Chansung. She saw there was also a bottle inside. Ryeowook certainly didn't need that anymore. She took the bag out to the dumpster and tossed it in.

 

Chansung was glad to get a call from Ryeowook the day after he'd stormed away inexplicably. 

"Hey. What's up?" Chansung greeted.

"On break at work."

"Ah. How is work going?"

"Fine. Listen, I wanted to apologize for yesterday. I don't know why I was being such an asshole."

"It's okay, Wook."

"I just don't want you to get hurt, Chan. I don't know that guy and something about him bothered me." Ryeowook was lying thru this teeth, of course, but it seemed the best way to explain his behavior.

"I get it." Chansung assured him. "No worries."

"Are you over that guy now--the one you told me you liked?" Ryeowook held his breath as he waited for an answer, unsure of what he wanted the answer to be.

"Not yet." Chansung admitted quietly. 

"Why not?" Ryeowook blurted. "He's a clueless jerk."

"What?" Chansung laughed. "I didn't even tell you who he is!"

"Chansung..."

"What?"

"Nothing. I have to get back to work. I'll talk to you later."


	26. twenty-six

Ryeowook couldn't find the backpack. He knew he had stashed it under his bed, but now it wasn't there. He was in a panic, tearing thru his room, trying to find it. If it wasn't here--if he had truly put it under his bed and someone had moved it--that meant that someone either had discovered the contents already or was going to very soon. Bad. Very, very bad! His roommates didn't often enter his room. And why would they even look under his bed? That left Ga In. This might be okay. He could tell her the backpack was Chansung's and somehow got mixed up with his things. Or something like, Chansung insisted he bring it along in case he needed it. But he hadn't, that's why it was under the bed. Ryeowook nodded. Yes. Good plan.

Ryeowook had plans to meet his girlfriend for dinner. They ate at her apartment. She lived alone but her apartment was small. Ryeowook didn't mind. The privacy was nice. 

He wondered how to bring up the back pack casually. He had been wondering all day. He had been tempted to send a text or call her, but had managed to hold off. 

"Have you talked to Chansung lately?" Ga In asked conversationally. 

"Yeah." Perfect! This was his opportunity. "In fact, he mentioned that I had some back pack of his. I can't find it, though."

"I thought maybe that was his. I found it this morning because it smelled so bad!"

"Ah. Where is it now? I need to get it back to him."

"I threw it away, Ryeowook. It had a used diaper in it!"

"But that wasn't the only thing in there!" Ryeowook protested. She'd thrown away his bottle?! His pacifier! His precious diapers. He had wanted to wean himself off of them at his own pace. 

"It was just baby stuff and diapers, Wookie." Ga In didn't understand why Ryeowook was so upset. "If it bothers Chansung that much, I'll replace his back pack."

"That's not the problem here!" 

"What is the problem here?"

"You threw away my things without asking me!" Why couldn't she see this?

Ga In stared at him for a moment before speaking.

"You're upset because I threw away a stinky, used diaper and some other baby crap you don't need anymore?"

"They were my things!"

"They were baby things!"

"So what?" Ryeowook snapped. "You get to decide which things I should and shouldn't keep?"

"Nobody should keep a used diaper!" 

"Of course! It's the other stuff!" Ryeowook was getting angry. "Those were mine! You don't get to decide what I should and shouldn't keep! I don't tell you which shoes you should throw out!"

"Stop yelling at me! Why is that crap so important to you? It's not like I'm keeping baby booties around. If I was, you could get rid of them! Why are you getting mad over some diapers and a bottle? Is it that fucking pacifier again?"

"My fucking pacifier!"

"What is going on with you?" Ga In was at a total loss over Ryeowook's behavior. "You don't need those things anymore, Wookie. That's a good thing."

"And what if I did?" Ryeowook asked, eyes teary. "Would you throw me out, too?"

"No! Of course not!"

"Really?" He challenged. "Because when I did need those things, Chansung was the one who helped me. He was the one who accepted me even when I was hurt, even when we were both embarrassed. He's the one that didn't make demands of me."

"I didn't make any demands of you!"

"You said you wouldn't have sex with me because I couldn't take a shower yet."

"That's only for hygienic reasons, babe! Your penis was surrounded by urine all day!"

"So if I had to wear diapers forever, you'd break up with me?"

"No! As long as you shower, it would be fine."

"What if the car accident had been worse?" One of Ryeowook's tears fell. "A damaged boyfriend isn't good enough for you." As he said it, he realized it was true. It wasn't that Ga In couldn't accept his diaper, bottle, or pacifier use. The issue was that she could settle for nothing less than a fully capable, fully functioning partner. If he were to get hurt permanently or get sick with a terminal illness or chronic illness, he wasn't going to be good enough for her standards any more. He hadn't realized this before.

"Wookie." Ga In reached out to wipe one of his tears. 

Ryeowook pulled back.

"I never knew." He said quietly, heart breaking. "I didn't know that's what you wanted."

"What?" Ga In was worried now. 

"I cannot promise you that I'll always be healthy, Ga In."

"That's okay, babe. I can't, either."

"No." Ryeowook felt cold. "It's not okay. Because if I get sick or hurt and you feel it's unhygenic to be intimate with me--or, I get sick or hurt and you push me to do things because you want me to be healthy sooner...I'm just going to disappoint you and hold you back. You're going to be unhappy. I won't be enough for you."

"Rye--"

"It doesn't mean you're a bad person, Ga In. I'm not saying that." Despite the heart ache and cold numbness setting in, Ryeowook was feeling clear headed. "I'm just saying that I am not the man you want or need. I love you, Ga In. I know you love me."

"But..." She was crying now.

"But we're not going to work out." He said softly, hugging her. "I'm sorry."

 

Chansung grumbled when his phone made noise. He was tired. He was almost asleep and then the damn phone made noise. He ignored it and rolled over. A minute later, the phone made noise again. He was tempted to throw it across the room or out the window. Instead, he reached for it to turn it off. The phone lit up and made noise again. A text message from Ryeowook.

\--are you awake?--

\--i'm at the front door--

\--come open the damn door--

Chansung sighed and got up. Why was Ryeowook here now? It wasn't the weekend. Ryeowook usually only came home for holidays and the occasional weekend visit. He quietly made his way to the front door, as so not to wake his parents. When he opened the door and took in the sight of his best friend, he knew why Ryeowook was here. Something was wrong. Ryeowook looked terrible. He was as handsome and adorable and sexy as always, but he had been crying and he looked absolutely crushed.

Chansung pulled his friend into a hug, closing the door with one hand. Ryeowook held on, needing the warmth and comfort. 

"Let's talk in my room." Chansung said in a whisper. Thankfully, his room was at the opposite end of the house from his parents'. They could converse without fear of waking his parents.


	27. twenty-seven

Ryeowook dropped onto Chansung's bed with a long sigh.

"What happened?" Chansung asked, concerned.

"Ga In and I broke up."

"What?" Chansung was surprised. He'd be lying if he said there wasn't a tiny bit of him that was happy. That was a very selfish, deluded part, however. "Why?"

"Because she only wants me if I'm completely healthy. What if I got hurt again? What if I got sick? I would still want her even if she became an invalid. I'd still stick by her. But she...she can't handle doing the same. I don't hate her for it. It's just, well, breaking up hurts. Ya know?"

"She said she didn't want you if you got sick?" Chansung was floored.

"Not in those words. She threw away the backpack, Chansung. I'm sorry. I'll replace it--"

"Why did she throw it away?" Chansung wondered if Ga In was mad at him for sending it with Ryeowook because of the contents. Had she confronted Ryeowook? "Did she say something about it?"

"She said I didn't need any of it anymore, so she threw it out when I was gone."

"Did you tell her you wanted it?"

"No. How could I tell her that?! The point is, if I did need them, she wouldn't be intimate with me until I didn't. What if I got hurt or sick enough that I needed diapers and couldn't take a shower? She wouldn't want me anymore. I can't do that, Chansung. I need to be with someone who I can count on to want me no matter what happens with my health. It's not all about sex, either. I don't mean that."

"No. I get what you mean. Are you sure this isn't about the pacifier?"

"I'm sure. This sucks."

"I'm sorry."

"Chansung..."

Chansung waited. 

"Turn off the light and come lie down."

Chansung did it, figuring Ryeowook didn't want him to see the tears. Ryeowook turned onto his side, trying to cry silently.

"Ryeowook." Chansung said gently.

"What." Ryeowook asked from around the thumb in his mouth. He found that sucking on it was not nearly as satisfying as a pacifier.

"Are you sucking your thumb?"

"Yeth."

"You still want diapers, bottles, and pacifiers?"

"Yes. Got a poblem wit tat?"

"No." Chansung chuckled. "Would they make you feel better right now?"

"Yeth."

"Ryeowook."

"Hmm?"

"I...I'm being selfish."

"How do you mean?" Ryeowook removed his thumb from his mouth.

"I...the guy I told you I liked...I..."

"It's me."

Chansung sat up and stared at his friend in shock.

"Relax." Ryeowook assured him. "It's okay. I've known for a week or so now."

"B-but...is that why you kissed me and held my hand?!"

"Sort of. I'm not attracted to you like you are to me. I'm sorry. But I'm not repulsed, either. You were spoiling me and I was feeling guilty, so I wanted to give you something that you wanted. I'm sorry I'm such a dumb ass. It probably hurt you even more."

Chansung was still in shock. 

"You kissed me even though you knew I liked you? You are a dumb ass!"

"What, you didn't like the kiss? Am I a bad kisser?"

"You suck." Chansung told him. "You trying to turn us into friends with benefits or what?" He complained.

Ryeowook laughed. "If by benefits you mean I'm using you as a diaper changer and bottle holder, yes."

Chansung laughed also. "I don't mind. I get to see you naked."

There was silence for a moment and then they both laughed.

"You're a terrible human being, Chansung."

"Not as bad as you, Ryeowook."

They lay there in silence for another moment. 

"Should we go to the store?" Chansung asked. It had been on his mind for a few minutes now.

"For what?"

"Diapers for the naughty boy and a pacifier so he quits sticking his dirty thumb in his mouth."

Ryeowook's stomach did a somersault while his heart did a double beat and his mind went blank. Holy shit. 

"Are you looking for another reward?" Ryeowook asked, as soon as he could trust his voice.

"Not telling." Chansung stood and tugged on his friend. "Now come on."

The trip to the store was short and quiet. In the store, they grabbed a cart and headed for the incontinence section. Chansung was careful, this time, to pick the type of diaper that Ryeowook preferred. He wanted the plastic backed, of course. It was a pity that most of them were cloth backed, though that made sense. People who actually suffered from incontinence wanted something discreet and comfortable, no doubt. 

Chansung was excited, but probably no where near as excited as Ryeowook. Chansung's mind was going thru scenarios and thus picked up two packages of incontinence briefs for children and teens(one for boys and one for girls). 

"What is that about?" Ryeowook raised an eyebrow and looked at his friend.

Chansung just smiled and pushed the cart to the baby section and got some talc powder. Ryeowook selected a pacifier and a bottle. Before they made their way to the counter. Thankfully this store had some of those self check out stations, so they didn't have to worry about a cashier seeing their strange purchases. They split the cost between them, as they were both going to get some pleasure from this. Though, Ryeowook didn't quite understand what Chansung got out of it other than seeing him naked. On the drive home, Ryeowook posed this to his friend.

"I'm not going to jump you, Wook." Chansung laughed.

"No. I know that. I just don't imagine you can enjoy this as much as I do."

"I think..."Chansung considered how to explain it. "I like the nurturing aspect. I like taking care of some one. I didn't know this before. It probably helps that it's you I'm caring for, but I think you've introduced me to something I didn't know I was missing. Does that make sense? Like, I didn't know I liked this until you showed it to me."

"I guess. I still don't understand what you like about it. I'm glad  you do, however."

"I'm sure you are." Chansung grinned.

They quietly took their purchases to Chansung's room and locked the door. Ryeowook's heart was racing. 

"Do you want to stay here tonight?" Chansung asked as he opened the package of plastic backed diapers. 

"If that's okay."

"Sure. I'll let you borrow some pajamas."

"They will be huge on me!" Ryeowook laughed, imagining it.

"Just the shirt, Wook. You're wearing a diaper and shirt to bed."

Ryeowook blushed. Chansung liked it.

"You going to take your pants off, or you need me to do it?" 

Ryeowook snapped into action, lying back on the bed after removing his pants and underwear. Chansung slid the open diaper under his friend's ass and sprinkled talc powder on his crotch. Ryeowook stared at the ceiling, afraid of the noises he might make. Chansung pulled the diaper shut and taped it. 

"You want your pacifier tonight, right?" Chansung opened the packing of said item and then the bottle.

"Yes."

"I need to wash them first."

"No. It's okay--"

"No. It isn't okay." Chansung said firmly, as if speaking to a child. "I don't want you to get sick. I need to clean them first."

Ryeowook pouted, getting into his role. "I don't want to wait. I want it right now."

"I know you do." Chansung ruffled his hair before stepping out.

Ryeowook rolled around on the bed, relishing in all of the familiar sensations of diaper wearing. He fucking loved this. He loved wearing a diaper again. He loved the way Chansung diapered him. He loved the way Chansung stepped into the role of caregiver or parent or--wait. Daddy? Ryeowook blushed. 

Chansung was back fairly quickly with freshly washed supplies. He held the pacifier to Ryeowook's lips and Ryeowook happily accepted it, smiling up at his friend. Chansung ruffled his hair again and pulled pajamas out of his dresser. 

"You need to take your shirt off." Chansuns said patiently. "Do you want help?"

Ryeowook lifted his arms and Chansung pulled the t-shirt off. He slipped the sleeves of the pajama shirt over Ryeowook's arms and buttoned it. He then dropped his clothes, but kept his underwear on, before putting on his pajamas. Chansung reached for the lamp to turn it off, but caught a glimpse of Ryeowook and paused to appreciate it. 

Ryeowook was lying there, legs bare, diaper peeking out from under the too large shirt, looking innocent and content as he sucked on the pacifier. Chansung somehow managed to not let out a growl. He turned the light off and took a few deep breaths, reminding himself that Ryeowook had just broken up with his girlfriend and needed comfort, not his best friend perving on him.


	28. twenty-eight

Chansung forced his gaze away and turned out the light before getting into bed. He was careful of where he put his hands and frankly the rest of his body.

"Is there a chance you and Ga In can reconcile?"

"No."

"Are you sure? Did you tell her how you felt?"

"Yes. This had to happen--for both of us. She needs to be free to find a partner that fits her needs and wants. I need the same. We both deserve it. I don't regret dating her. I'm just hurting because I wanted things to work out. I'm grieving a loss, you know?"

"And you don't think this is dangerous?"

"You and me being in a bed together? No." 

"You are--"

"Being a clueless ass, again?"

"yeah." Chansung agreed.

"On a scale of one to ten, how much do you want to jump me right now?"

"Asshole." Chansung thumped his friend on the head.

"Ow! Jerk."

They lay in silence for a moment.

"I think I could do this." Ryeowook announced.

"Do what?"

"Date you." Ryeowook said it so easily.

Chansung started to get a little angry.

"Don't trivialize my feelings, Ryeowook. It's not that I just want to have sex with you. I'm in love with you. You're talking like you could probably, maybe try dating me because I'll diaper you and spoil you--because I'm safe for you. You are hurting and lonely right now. I'm not going to throw our friendship away because you want to ease your pain by using me and then realizing 'oh, right. I'm not gay after all. Sorry, Chansung.' Do you have any idea how much that would hurt both of us?" Chansung was breathing harder by the end of his rant.

"I didn't mean to trivialize your feelings, Chansung. The only thing that would keep me from dating you seriously is the fact that I'm not gay."

"That's a big enough reason!"

"If I am able to handle being with a man romantically and sexually, I wouldn't hesitate to make you mine."

"Ryeowook--"

"Since the car accident, you're the one that has been on my mind the most--"

"You barely talked to me for weeks!" Chansung protested.

"Because I knew I'd hurt you and would continue to do so if I didn't give you some space. If I didn't back off, I would have kept trying to get you to spoil me, and kept kissing and who knows what else with you. I had to step back or I was going to do more damage. I had a girl friend and shouldn't have been kissing anyone but her."

Chansung let that sink in.

"I am available to spoil you even without dating, Ryeowook. It doesn't have to be sexual."

"I know. I've thought about it--about if the diaper issue could be totally separate from the dating issue. If you asked me to date you and told me that you wanted nothing to do with this strange hobby of mine, what would I do? Do I only want you because you diaper me and what not? No, but I also wouldn't give them up for you. You wouldn't have to participate, but I'd keep using them as I wanted."

"You want me? Ryeowook, that's new. You must be confused. Before diapers, did you ever have a moment you were attracted to me or any other man?" Chansung's heart wanted to believe it but his mind wouldn't let him.

"I never thought about it. When I did think about it--after you made it obvious that I was the one you liked, well...I had a girlfriend. Now that I'm single, I'm interested."

"Because you just ended that long term relationship." Chansung insisted.

"You want me to go home tonight? I didn't mean to upset you."

"No. It's late. I don't want you to fall asleep at the wheel."

"I'm sorry that I keep hurting you."

"It's not that, Ryeowook." Chansung shifted his body in the narrow bed. "It's just that...well...I don't mean to make you uncomfortable, but I'm turned on right now."

"I am sexy." 

Chansung thumped Ryeowook's head again.

"Ow!" Ryeowook laughed.

They lay in silence for a couple minutes.

"It's okay. I understand it." Ryeowook said. "Do what you have to do."

"I want to do you, clueless jerk."

"Go ahead."

"It's not like shaking your hand, moron. You want to bend over and take it now?"

"Me?" Ryeowook asked, surprised. "I thought you were going to be the bottom."

"Why me?" Chansung challenged.

"You are the gay one."

"Seriously an ass." Chansung laughed.

Ryeowook's silliness had helped him relax and soon the taller man drifted to sleep. Ryeowook followed soon after.

 

Ryeowook woke first, but not by much. He yawned and stretched and then glanced over at Chansung. Chansung opened his eyes and met Ryeowook's gaze. 

"Good morning." Ryeowook greeted.

"Sleep well?" Chansung asked with a yawn.

"Like a baby." Ryeowook laughed.

Chansung rolled his eyes at the lame joke but smiled anyway, amused. He pulled Ryeowook's blanket down and eyed the diaper.

"What? You decide you want me now?" Ryeowook asked.

"You're still dry." Chansung observed.

"Should I fix that?"

"Only if you want to."

Ryeowook sat up and faced Chansung. He put his knees on the bed, Chansung's legs between them, and looked at his friend. Chansung's eyebrows went up.

"What are you--"

"Shhh." Ryeowook put a finger to his lips and concentrated on the task at hand.

Chansung stared. What was Ryeowook doing? When Ryeowook looked down, he did too. Holy shit. Ryeowook was peeing the diaper. Chansung held his breath as he watched the wetness indicator fade. He could even hear the urine filling the diaper. Ryeowook wiggled a bit, the diaper heavy and hot between his legs. Chansung's eyes met his. Ryeowook liked the look of shock and awe on his friend's face.

"I'm not dry anymore." Ryeowook grinned.

Chansung let out a groan that he hadn't meant to. Ryeowook leaned forward just a little, pressing his bulging diaper against Chansung's legs. Chansung's breath caught in his throat. His will power was quickly deserting him. Seeing and hearing Chansung's reaction made Ryeowook more bold. He dropped forward, hovering over Chansing, holding himself up with this palms planted on the bed on either side of Chansung's head. Chansung was panting as he stared up at Ryeowook.


	29. twenty-nine

"R-Ryeowook." Chansung stuttered. "This isn't funny. G-get off me."

Ryeowook pressed his cheek to Chansung's and spoke softly in his ear. "Date me."

The humid breath traveled from Chansung's ear to his toes, body tingling in it's wake. He thought he heard himself gasp. Chansung gripped Ryeowook's biceps. 

"No."

Ryeowook brushed his lips over Chansung's burning ear. "You want to."

Chansung rolled Ryeowook off him, breathing hard, fists clenched as he fought for control over his desires.

"We can't do this--" Chansung started, out of breath.

Ryeowook had enough. He grabbed a handful of Chansung's hair and crashed their lips together. Chansung allowed himself a moment of those much sought after lips on his, before he tried to pull away. He froze, however, when Ryeowook palmed his crotch. The noise that escaped Chansung was something between a shout and groan. 

"You are hard." Ryeowook observed. "We can do this."

"We're not having sex right now!" Chansung blurted, glad he was finally able to get a full sentence in.

"I'm not talking about sex, Chansung." Ryeowook said seriously. He took Chansung's hand and put it to the front of his wet diaper. "You feel that? I am turned on, too. I am turned on by you, Chansung. Does that make me gay enough to date you?"

Chansung stared at him, vision blurring with tears. A sob pushed its way past his lips and Ryeowook hugged him tight, rubbing his back.

"It's okay, Chansung. It's okay." Ryeowook assured and kissed his cheek. "We can do this."

Chansung wanted to say yes, but he was still afraid. He didn't want to lose his best friend over a dating failure. Ryeowook pulled back a fraction and pressed his lips to Chansung's again. Their lips moved together, savoring the tender unurried kiss. After the kiss, Chansung rested his forehead against Ryeowook's as the older man gently stroked his cheek with a thumb.

"I'm worried that you'll decide you need to go back to Ga In. I'm afraid you'll decide you need a woman, after all. I'm scared that you're going to discover that you aren't in love with me after all."

"Stop, Chansung. There are always going to be doubts. They just rob us of enjoying the good times."

"I'll try."

"Good." Ryeowook smiled and tilted Chansung's head so he could see it. "Are you out to your parents or anybody?"

"Just Junho."

Ryeowook frowned.

"Shit." Chansung blurted, suddenly realizing. "He was right, wasn't he? You were jealous!"

Ryeowook blushed.

"Don't keep talking to me about him." he grumbled.

Chansung laughed happily. Ryeowook had been jealous! Chansung grabbed Ryeowook and planted a kiss on him. When Ryeowook saw how pleased Chansung was, it was hard to keep from smiling, but he did. Instead he pouted and folded his arms.

"I want breakfast."

Chansung could have squealed at how cute Ryeowook was being. He knew Ryeowook was trying to steer the conversation away from his embarrassing display of jealousy. 

"My naughty boy wants breakfast?" Chansung loved saying the words. 

Ryeowook made an affirmative noise and nodded.

"Then he needs to say please, like a nice boy."

"I want breakfast. Please."

Chansung laughed. "Such a stubborn boy! Can I trust my naughty boy to sit here and wait patiently while I get breakfast?"

Ryeowook nodded. 

"Okay." Chansung stood and ruffled Ryeowook's hair before leaving the room. 

When he returned, he had a bagel and juice. Ryeowook wasn't in the mood to be fed, so he accepted the food and ate. 

"I did some research." Chansung said, after watching the other man eat for a bit.

"About what?"

"About people liking to wear diapers and use pacifiers." Chansung admitted.

"Oh?" Ryeowook looked at him with interest. 

"Yeah and I found lots of things I didn't even know existed."

"Like what?"

"Like, there are companies that make diapers for people who like to wear them. They decorate them with things like teddy bears or space ships and other stuff."

Ryeowook was beyond excited. "I had no idea!"

"There are special pacifiers made for adults so that they don't damage their teeth. And there's porn, too. Porn where one or both people are wearing diapers."

Ryeowook's eyes were wide.

"You never looked into any of this?" Chansung was surprised.

"No. I figured I was the only sick freak that wanted this stuff."

"You are most definitely not. There are plenty of you sick freaks out there."

Ryeowook let out an amused sniff. 

"When did it start for you? I read that some people had lacking childhoods and that's why they like them."

"That's certainly not it for me. I don't know why I like it. I've just always had this desire to wear them. I mean, I was fine with being potty trained and every thing. It was just that sometimes I would fantasize about wearing a diaper. The older I got, the stronger the urge got. It's been tormenting me for years."

"Wow. I didn't know that. When did you first try it out?"

Ryeowook looked away. 

"Why? What's wrong?" Chansung could sense it.

"Uhm...the first time...it was after the car accident, in the hospital."

Chansung let that sink in. His expression changed as he came to the realization of what Ryeowook was admitting.

"You mean--you didn't--You peed yourself on purpose to get diapers?!" 

"Yeah..." Ryeowook admitted quietly. 

Chansung gaped at him for a moment before clearing his throat and gathering himself.

"You know what this means, right?"

Ryeowook looked up at him, afraid. Did it mean no more diapers? Was Chansung no longer interested in him because he'd lied? A tear snuck out of his duct and rolled down his face. 

"W-what?" Ryeowook managed.

"It means you've been even naughtier than I imagined." Chansung folded his arms. "Which means my naughty boy needs to be disciplined."

Ryeowook's body was in danger of spontaneously combusting. Was this actually happening? Chansung wasn't mad about Ryeowook's manipulation? He was still playing along with this kink? He called Ryeowook his boy? Ryeowook let out a little whimper, despite himself. 


	30. Thirty

"Discipline?"

"Indeed. We need to talk first, though."

"About?" Ryeowook took another bite of the bagel.

"I'm not sure what exactly you want." Chansung gestured.

"What do you mean?"

"Is the discipline okay with you? Or do you just want me to diaper you?"

"Discipline is good with me." Ryeowook tried not to sound too eager. "I think I--when I'm like this, I want you to play...uhm...like be my caregiver or babysitter or uhm daddy or something." Ryeowook blushed.

"Oh." Chansung felt warm. "Daddy?"

Ryeowook didn't answer, looking at the floor.

"Try it." Chansung urged.

"It's embarrassing." Ryeowook muttered.

"Say it."

Ryeowook cleared his throat and stared at his fingers. "D-da...Daddy."

Chansung bit his lip. Fuck. That was hot. Why was that hot?

"It's too weird, right?" Ryeowook looked up at Chansung.

Chansung shook his head. "I like it. Maybe not all the time, but when we're...playing like this. I liked it."

"O-okay."

"So, yeah, uhm. Safe words."

"Safe words. That's a good idea. Any suggestions?"

"I was thinking of a stoplight. But saying just a color might not be enough. So, say red Chansung. If you want me to slow down a little or back off a little, say yellow Chansung."

"Sounds good and you do the same thing with my name."

Chansung nodded. 

They sat in silence for a little bit longer. 

"I need to check if Mom and Dad left for work yet." Chansung said and left the room.

Ryeowook finished off the bagel and juice.

When Chansung came back into the room, he was feeling nervous, wondering if he could really do this. He took a deep breath and spoke.

"You shouldn't lie, baby." Chansung said sternly.

Ryeowook shivered, immediately turned on. 

"If you wanted something, you should have asked Daddy." Despite his nervousness, Chansung was trying his best. 

"I'm sorry." Ryeowook pouted.

"I know but you still have to be disciplined for lying, baby."

"No. I'll be good now. I won't do it again."

"Do you think you should stand in the corner or get a spanking?" 

Ryeowook shuddered. He wanted both so very much. Chansung was full of good ideas!

"I'm a good boy, Daddy!" He insisted. Fuck, calling Chansung daddy was hot.

"Come here." Chansung patted his leg after he sat on the bed.

Ryeowook bit his lip to keep from groaning out loud. He was going to get a spanking, in a wet diaper. Holy shit this was so fucking perfect. He slowly approached and let Chansung position him over his legs. 

"I don't want a spanking!" Ryeowook complained.

"Then don't lie again." 

"I won't!"

"Hold still." Chansung commanded and placed one swat on Ryeowook's well padded ass. 

Ryeowook couldn't hold back the groan this time. He pushed his hips down, desperate for friction. Chansung landed another slap on the wet diaper. 

"More." Ryeowook moaned.

Chansung did it again, harder. 

"Ryeowook, I'm afraid if I do this any more, the thing is gonna break open. I don't want to clean up that mess."

Ryeowook managed to laugh and slid off Chansung's legs. 

"I think you like this as much as I do." Ryeowook said, observing Chansung's bulge. 

"I think I might. You have to work today?"

"Yeah. This afternoon."

"Okay." 

"What?" Ryeowook could tell there was more Chansung wanted to say.

"I just... I was thinking...when are we going to see each other again?" Chansung blushed. He sounded like a clingy little girl.

Ryeowook's smile was huge. "Want to come to my place when I get out of work?"

"Very much so." He admitted, making Ryeowook chuckle happily. "Take a shower here, before you go."

Ryeowook tilted his head questioningly. "I don't have clean clothes to change into."

"Do it anyway. You'll see why."

Ryeowook waited.

"Go take a shower." Chansung repeated.

"Aren't you going to take my diaper off?" Ryeowook asked. "Am I allowed to take my diapers off?"

"Oh! You're such a good boy. You're right. You're not allowed to take your diaper off. That's Daddy's job." Chansung almost couldn't say Daddy. It was both embarrassing and exciting. 

Ryeowook put his thumb in his mouth and held still, watching Chansung. Chansung undid the tapes and removed the now heavy garment. He folded it and kissed Ryeowook's forehead.

"My parents are gone. Go take a shower."

 

After his shower, Ryeowook left the bathroom wearing a towel on his hips. He heard a noise and turned to look, a bit startled. He found Chansung staring hungrily at him. He wondered how many times Chansung had stared at him like that and he hadn't noticed.

"Sorry." Chansung tried to stop ogling. "Your clothes are in the living room."

Ryeowook followed Chansung. In the living room, Ryeowook pulled his shirt over his head and then looked for his briefs. They weren't there.

"Looking for these?" Chansung had them.

Ryeowook put his hand out but Chansung shook his head.

"My little boy doesn't wear big boy undies." Chansung explained. "Come here."

Ryeowook's feet somehow managed to take him closer to the big man. Chansung tugged on the towel, making it drop to the floor. It took a great amount of self control to not drop the floor himself to taste Ryeowook's delicious looking penis. Instead he produced one of the over night briefs for bed wetting children and teens. It looked quite a bit like regular underwear and yet obviously it wasn't. Ryeowook blushed as he noted what they were and that they had Spiderman on them. 

"Don't be embarrassed." Chansung told him gently. "These are for little boys--boys who use the potty most of the time. If you have an accident, it will be okay. That's why Daddy wants you to wear them."

Ryeowook was breathing hard. Chansung was so fucking good at playing this game. He lifted one foot and let Chansung slip the underwear on, repeating with the other foot. Chansung pulled the protective garment up his legs to where it belonged. They felt comfortable and much like he was wearing regular underwear, but a tad thicker. 

"You need to point your pee-pee down or you're going to pee out the top of the undies." Chansung pointed. It nearly killed him to use such juvenile language, but he figured it was part of the play.

"Daddy do it."

"Uh, no. " Chansung said bluntly. "Daddy is no saint. If I touch you now, I won't be able to stop. You're not ready for that. I'm not ready for that. Let's wait, okay?"

Ryeowook shivered. He wanted Chansung. He wanted to have sex with him but he knew Chansung was right. They weren't ready for that yet. Besides, he wanted to wait until he wasn't rushed because he had to get to work in a few hours. He adjusted his penis in the underwear and put the rest of his clothes on.

The guys killed a couple hours together playing video games. Ryeowook used the toilet as needed, getting praised by Chansung every time. Holy shit. Either Chansung was a natural at this role or he'd done a lot of research.

When it came time for Ryeowook to head to work, they hovered around the door for a few minutes. Ryeowook looked up at Chansung, considering calling in sick so he could have more time with his friend. Chansung gently played with Ryeowook's hair before leaning down to kiss him softly. After the kiss, they hugged, not letting go.

"I don't want to go to work."

"I don't want you to go, but you have to."

Ryeowook kissed him again. "I'm so happy, Chansung. I don't want this moment to end."

"You're very cheesy, babe." Chansung grinned. "Now go to work and I'll see you tonight. If you stay dry, I'll give you a surprise."

"Oh?" Ryeowook's interested was peaked.

"Mhm." Chansung kissed him again, letting it linger. 

"Fuck, I really don't want to go."

"Go." Chansung opened the door and pushed on Ryeowook. "I'll see you later tonight. Promise."

Ryeowook looked at him for a moment, wondering why he hadn't noticed Chansung's love for him earlier. He wondered if he had been in love with Chansung too and just didn't know it. That sounded ridiculous but possible. Ryeowook took a deep breath and walked reluctantly to his car. 


	31. thirty-one

Ryeowook was buzzing all afternoon at work. He was incredibly self conscious about what he was wearing under his jeans. Would anyone notice? No, not unless it rode up over his jeans waistband. Ryeowook must have checked for that hundreds of times during his short shift.

He used the toilet, afraid the garment would swell and become obvious or leak. There was no way he'd be able to explain to his coworkers. He'd have to quit his job and hide in shame. He shuddered at the very thought.

It was still fun to wear, though. He wished he could urinate in it. He wondered what it would feel like to pee any time he wanted--no matter where he was. It was a naughty and exciting thought.

The other reason for his buzzing was the memory of Chansung's kiss and the spanking. Chansung's kiss alone left Ryeowook feeling tingly and excited. He had a hard time concentrating on anything but kissing his friend again. Time couldn't pass quickly enough. He wanted to see Chansung, now.

It felt like a horribly long shift, though it wasn't. When he was finally done, he sent Chansung a text.

\--going home--

Chansung had been nervous for hours. He was worried that Ryeowook was going to tell him that he'd thought it over while he was at work and decided this wasn't for him after all. He knew Ryeowook would beg for forgiveness and for their friendship to remain. Chansung knew it would kill him, but he'd aquiese. He had hope that this wouldn't happen because of his memory of the look in Ryeowook's eyes. Ryeowook had been genuine that morning. 

Chansung knew what time Ryeowook's shift ended, as Ryeowook had told him earlier that day. But, he was far too early and had to wait outside Ryeowook's apartment. He was early because he couldn't stand waiting at home, pacing. So here he was tapping his fingers on the steering wheel like a drummer on speed.

When the text message arrived, Chansung had to brace himself for a possible rejection before reading it. It seemed to be a message that followed their plans for the evening. 

\--meet you there-- Chansung considered adding a question mark at the end, but he didn't want to make it seem like it was okay for Ryeowook to keep changing his mind about this new development in their relationship. He didn't want to push too hard, but he didn't want to leave exits all over the place, either. 

Ryeowook was nervous and thrilled that he'd be seeing Chansung soon. He was nervous because he thought for sure Chansung would have sent him lovey dovey cutesy text messages. Wasn't Chansung excited, too? Wasn't he happy that Ryeowook wanted to be with him?

"Ryeowook." 

Ryeowook turned and was greeted by the sight of the big man approaching with a tell-tale grin on his face. Chansung was trying to hide it, but he was happy to see Ryeowook. Ryeowook smiled up at him and hugged him right there on the sidewalk, in front of his apartment building. 

"Is everything okay?" Chansung asked, alarmed.

Ryeowook laughed softly. "Yes, silly. I'm just happy to see you."

Chansung did a mental jump for joy--a very gay one with glitter and a rainbow. Ryeowook was happy to see him!

"Let's go inside." Ryeowook took Chansung's hand and led the way to his front door. 

"Are your roommates in?"

"Not yet. They went out with some friends." Ryeowook answered as he opened the door and let Chansung in. "So, you said you had a surprise for me?"

Chansung blushed and looked around the room. "Are you sure they aren't here?"

Ryeowook smiled at Chansung's discomfort and eased it by checking all of the rooms in the apartment. "Not here."

"And the door is locked?" 

"Yes. The door is locked. Yes we are alone, Chansung. Relax."

"Okay." Chansung held Ryeowook's face gently and placed a chaste kiss on his lips. When he pulled back, he was wearing a different expression. "Take your pants off, baby. I need to check your diaper."

Ryeowook immediately felt warm from head to toe. He unbuttoned and unzipped his jeans.

"It's not a diaper." Ryeowook pouted. "It's for boys who use the potty."

Chansung chuckled. "Yes, you're right. Let me see if my boy had any accidents."

Chansung gestured for Ryeowook to remove his jeans, which he did. Chansung lifted Ryeowook's shirt and slid a finger tip into the briefs thru the leg hole. Ryeowook gasped in surprise.

"Such a good boy!" Chansung praised, kissing his temple. "You didn't have any accidents. Did you keep your special underwear on the whole time?"

"Yes."

"You know you're not allowed to lie to Daddy, right?"

"I'm not! I kept them on. I promise."

"Okay. That's my good boy." Chansung hugged him again.

Ryeowook loved it and felt himself quickly morphing from grown-up Ryeowook to little Ryeowook. While he had his arms around Chansung, he let go in the underwear. He stopped urinating at one point, for fear the garment couldn't hold any more. He couldn't help the tiny moan that escaped as the heat from his discharge soaked around his genitals. 

"Are you okay?" Chansung pulled back, mistaking the noise for discomfort. 

"Sorry." Ryeowook put his thumb in his mouth.

"Sorry about what?" Chansung was confused. 

Ryeowook's free hand was tugging at the hem of his shirt. Chansung moved that hand and saw the swollen underwear. Fuck. Ryeowook did that while they were hugging?! He found the thought arousing.

"Oh, I see. You were holding it in, weren't you, baby?"

Ryeowook didn't answer, looking at the floor.

"It's okay." Chansung ruffled his hair affectionately. "Let's get you changed."

Chansung held out his hand and Ryeowook took it. Chansung led him to the bedroom and closed the door. He dropped the back pack from his shoulders and opened it. Ryeowook sat on the bed and watched as Chansung took out diaper changing supplies. Ryeowook bounced in excitement, and because he liked the way the padding rubbed against his goods. 

"Lie back, Wookie." Chansung unfolded a diaper. 

Ryeowook did as he was told, lifting his hips so Chansung could remove the used garment. Chansung then used great will power to not touch the penis he so greatly desired to experience, but instead slid the diaper under Ryeowook's hips. He sprinkled the talc and pulled the diaper closed, taping it snugly. 

Chansung stood. Ryeowook sat up.

"Hungry, Daddy." Ryeowook whined. 

"Me, too. Let's find something to eat." When Chansung realized Ryeowook hadn't moved, he stopped and looked. "What?"

"Daddy, carry me."

Chansung approached the man, experimentally lifting him. Ryeowook wrapped his arms and legs around his friend. Chansung's hands when automatically to Ryeowook's legs, but then slid up until he had two handfuls of diapered ass. He bit his lip to keep from letting out a groan. This was fucking hot. 


	32. thirty-two

Chansung carried Ryeowook out of bedroom like that--like an oversized toddler. He liked the way Ryeowook clung to him. 

"What do you want to eat?"

"Hmmm." Ryeowook made no move to stand, so Chansung set him on the counter top. "Eggs."

"Do you have eggs?" Chansung opened the fridge. He found the eggs and some other things to add to them. He had to ask where the frying pan was and the spatula, but finally set about with the actual cooking of the eggs.

Ryeowook watched, feeling incredibly happy. 

"So, what was the surprise you promised me?" Ryeowook asked.

"Uhm..." Chansung didn't look at him. "That's for later."

"Oh?" Ryeowook wondered if Chansung had forgotten or maybe hadn't thought of what to surprise him with in the first place. 

"What's your schedule for tomorrow?" Chansung changed the subject.

"Work. You?"

"Same. You working the same hours as today?"

"Yup."

"I work in the afternoon, too."

Ryeowook continued watching Chansung. "You asked because you want to spend time together again tomorrow?"

"Yeah." Chansung glanced at him. "Is that okay?"

Ryeowook smiled. "It's like you're trying to make sure I don't run away from you."

Chansung blushed, embarrassed at how close to the truth that was. 

"Chansung." Ryeowook called. When the other man didn't respond, he tried again. "Chansung. Look at me."

Chansung did so, looking a bit apprehensive. 

"Come here." Ryeowook's smile was still in place. 

Chansung approached. Ryeowook rested his arms on the other man's shoulders, hands clasped together behind his head. He leaned forward and shared a sweet kiss.

"I want to spend as much time as possible with you, too. You're spending the night, right?"

Chansung let out a sigh of relief before kissing Ryeowook, this time slipping his tongue past his lips. Ryeowook opened up to him, tilting his head as he met Chansung's tongue with his own. They paced themselves, enjoying every sweet moment of the tasting. It was the first time they'd kissed like this and if they weren't so impatient, they'd say the wait was worth it. After the kiss, Chansung rested his forehead against Ryeowook's.

"I'm still scared." Chansung confessed. "I'm still afraid you'll tell me that you can't do this after all. You can't be with a man."

Ryeowook pulled back and looked at his best friend. "I don't know how to make that fear go away." He admitted. "Maybe time will take care of that."

"It's just--this is all new to you. I've had a thing for you for a long time but you've never had these feelings before." Chansung insisted.

"Oh. Hmm. I think of it this way. I already wanted to be in your life forever. I always wanted you by my side. I already loved you. It's just that now it makes sense. I didn't want you by my side as a friend, but as a lover. I just didn't know it. It feels like everything fits now."

Chansung wasn't sure Ryeowook truly understood the implications of this relationship, but he kept those thoughts to himself for now. 

"Don't let the food burn." Ryeowook prodded.

Chansung hustled to the stove, taking the pan from the heat. He put food onto two plates and handed one to Ryeowook. 

"Do you want me to feed you?" Chansung asked.

"Not right now." Ryeowook smiled before digging in. "This is good, Chansung."

The two ate in silence, until Chansung happened to glance down.

"Ryeowook!" 

"Hmm?" Ryeowook glanced at the other man. 

"You had a lot to drink today?" Chansung indicated the front of the diaper.

Ryeowook chuckled. "I thought that's why I was wearing it."

"You just filled the other one, so I thought you were done for a while."

"Silly. That other one can't hold much. Is it a problem?"

"No, of course not."

Both men finished their food. They heard the sound of a key unlocking the door. Ryeowook, not wanting to be caught in a diaper by his room mates, took off for his bedroom. Chansung followed, unsure of what to do. He found Ryeowook in his bedroom, already having pulled one side of his diaper open. Chansung put his hand over Ryeowook's.

"What are you doing?" Chansung asked.

"I can't get my jeans on over this!" Ryeowook hissed in a whisper.

"I understand that part." Chansung, removed Ryeowook's hands from the diaper. "But you're not allowed to remove your diapers."

"Chansung!" Ryeowook didn't want to play right now. "I just want to get some clothes on and--"

"All you had to do is talk to me." Chansung said easily, removing the diaper from Ryeowook's body. "You were being naughty. You know Daddy can't just let that go."

"Chansung." Ryeowook nagged as Chansung pulled something out of his back pack. 

"Your punishment is to wear this." Chansung unfolded the incontinence brief that was decorated for girls with it's pink and purple butterflies and flowers. 

Ryeowook blushed. Cross dressing wasn't his thing. Chansung lifted Ryeowook's foot and slipped the garment on, before repeating with the other foot. For some reason, Ryeowook didn't fight it, didn't use a safe word. 

"Be a good boy and I'll take this off for you later." Chansung kissed Ryeowook's forehead. "And I'll give you your surprise."

Se Kyung and Hyung Sik looked up as Ryeowook and Chansung exited the bedroom.

"Hi." Ryeowook greeted. "You remember Chansung?"

"Hi." Se Kyung smiled and Hyun Sik nodded. 

"Hello." Chansung felt a little awkard and hoped it didn't show. "I just finished cooking. There's some left, if you'd like it."

"Great. Thanks." Hyung Sik checked out the food and fixed a plate for himself. 

"Ryeowook, Ga In called. Did something happen?" Se Kyung asked, concerned.

"Why do you ask?" Ryeowook was curious.

"She seemed upset." Se Kyung provided. "She asked about you."

"Asked how you were and where you were. She was concerned that you might be acting strangely. She asked about a friend of yours, too. I can't remember the name."

Ryeowook was a bit angry upon hearing this. Ga In needed to mind her own business. Did she think he had broken up with her because he was 'acting strangely'?

"Something about being a bad influence or what not. I didn't understand. I'm sorry."

"It's fine, Se Kyung." Ryeowook assured her. "I don't mean to put you in the middle. If she wants to know about me, please tell her to ask me."

Hyung Sik took this in and processed it.

"Did you two fight?" He asked.

"No. We broke up." Ryeowook supplied.

"Oh. Jeez. I'm sorry." Hyung Sik hadn't been expecting that.

"It'll be okay. I realize she's hurting and trying to find a different reason than the one I gave her. I think she doesn't understand, though I did explain it. Hopefully she'll be able to move on soon. She deserves good things and I don't want to hold her back."

"How would you be holding her back?" Hyung Sik scoffed.

"We just expect different things from each other. It's okay. It's better to figure this out now than 10 years from now, ya know?"

"True."

"Was it Chansung she was asking about?" Se Kyung realized.

"Probably." Ryeowook nodded.

Chansung sighed. 

"Don't sweat it." Ryeowook nudged Chansung with his elbow. "Oh, Chansung is staying here tonight, so don't be alarmed and don't walk around naked."

The others laughed. They didn't walk around naked, thank you very much!


	33. thirty-three

The evening passed pleasantly enough. The three roommates chatted, catching up on things. They avoided the topic of Ga In and the break up. Ryeowook's mind was almost always on what he was wearing under his jeans. Chansung was trying very hard to act normal--you know, not like he wanted to drag Ryeowook to the bedroom and fuck his brains out all night. Or, make love, as it were.

Finally, or so it felt to Ryeowook and Chansung, Hyung Sik and Se Kyung retired to their bedroom. Chansung looked at Ryeowook.

"Time for bed. Brush your teeth."

Ryeowook considered this, feeling almost giddy. "Hmmmm. Nope."

"Did you just tell--" Chansung glanced around to make sure they were still alone, yet still whispered it--"Daddy, no?"

Ryeowook played with his shirt, not answering.

"You want another spanking?" Chansung threatened.

"Yes, please!" Ryeowook grinned and hopped onto Chansung's lap.

Chansung broke into laughter. 

"Seriously, though. Do you want to go to bed now or what?"

"At least to the bedroom." Ryeowook answered.

Ryeowook took a turn in the bathroom first. After brushing his teeth, he left the room to Chansung and retreated to the bedroom. Ryeowook heard muted music coming from his roommates' bedroom. 

Chansung finished with the bathroom and entered the bedroom. He wondered if Ryeowook's heart was beating as hard as his. It was so bad that he felt like coughing. 

Ryeowook was lying on the bed, pacifier in his mouth, watching Chansung with those feline eyes. Chansung swallowed the urge to take Ryeowook right then. 

"I don't like wearing girls' stuff." Ryeowook pouted.

"But you left it on anyway." Chansung made sure the door was locked before he approached the bed. "Good boy."

Ryeowook shivered. Chansung bent over and undid Ryeowook's jeans. Ryeowook bit the pacifier and held his breath. Chansung tugged on the jeans and Ryeowook lifted his hips, allowing the taller man to pull the clothing off and deposit it on the floor. 

"You're dry." Chansung observed, dragging his fingertips over the butterflies. 

Ryeowook lifted his hips, wanting more of Chansung's touch. Chansung laid his palm where his fingers had been, causing Ryeowook to let out a shaky breath. 

"Chansung." Ryeowook moaned. "Please."

Chansung tilted his head. "Please?" He didn't know what the other man wanted. "The diaper?"

"I don't care about that." Ryeowook put his hand over Chansung's and pressed, moaning again at the pressure from Chansung's hand on his crotch. "Touch me, please."

Chansung moved his palm up and down. Ryeowook's eyes closed and he spit the pacifier out, biting his lip instead, as he let out a low keen. Chansung soon felt Ryeowook hardening under the slight padding. He glanced up at Ryeowook's face.

"May I..."

"Do what ever the fuck you want, Chansung." Ryeowook blurted. "I want you."

Chansung almost collapsed. He somehow managed to keep himself from jumping Ryeowook right then. Instead, he slowly took his shirt off, watching Ryeowook carefully. Ryeowook watched silently. 

Chansung unbuttoned his own jeans and pushed them down. Ryeowook could clearly see the outline of Chansung's semi erect penis. Ryeowook's gaze met Chansung's. 

"You still want this?" Chansung asked, still afraid that Ryeowook was going to change his mind about being intimate with another man.

Ryeowook bent a finger, calling the taller man over. Chansung stayed where he was.

"You really want to do this with me?" Chansung asked seriously as he slowly removed his briefs. "Kissing is hot, but this is different." Chansung illustrated his point by pulling on his cock once. 

"I want it. I want you. I want everything." Ryeowook ripped the diaper off and tossed it across the room. 

Chansung stepped over to the bed. "Sit up."

Ryeowook did so and Chansung sat opposite him, knees touching. Ryeowook watched as Chansung stroked his cock again. 

"Touch it." Chansung commanded in a low voice.

Ryeowook glanced down. Chansung's member was leaking precum. He reached out and swirled a drop of the clear liquid over the head. Chansung's breath hitched. Ryeowook wrapped his hand around the thick shaft, watching Chansung's face. 

"Does it feel good?" Ryeowook asked.

Chansung leaned forward and captured Ryewook's lips. Ryeowook's grip instinctively tightened as Chansung bit and nibbled at his lips before delving in with his tongue. Ryeowook whimpered into the kiss. Chansung put his hand over Ryeowook's, guiding him to move his hand up and down on his rapidly hardening rod.  Chansung then ended the kiss and stared at his friend. 

"I think it's time for that surprise." Chansung managed, just above a whisper. 

Ryeowook held his breath, wondering what it could be. Chansung didn't leave him long to do so. He pushed Ryeowook back, letting him get comfortable against the pillow. Ryeowook whimpered again. Chansung knelt between Ryeowook's legs, grinning up at him. Ryeowook stared. He wasn't, was he? 

Chansung held the base of Ryeowook's cock and tasted the tip. He'd wanted this so much for so long. Ryeowook stared, unable to believe what was happening. Chansung, now that he'd finally tasted Ryeowook, couldn't be stopped. He licked the length before taking it into his mouth. Ryeowook groaned, eyes rolling back as Chansung swallowed him. He had always thought he was of a decent size, but the way Chansung pressed his nose to Ryeowook's pubes, made him wonder. 

"Fuuuck, Chansung." Ryeowook leaned back. "Oh fuck! That's amazing. Feels fucking amazing."

Chansung started to move, bobbing up and down on his treat as one hand fondled Ryeowook's balls. 

"Chansung! Fuck. I--uh! I'm not gonna last!" Ryeowook grabbed a handful of the other man's hair, urging him to let off.

Chansung did the opposite, speeding up, sucking harder, his sounds of slurping echoing around the room. Ryeowook's fingers curled in Chansung's hair as he got closer to release.

"No! Chansung!"

But Chansung kept going.

"Unh!" Ryeowook's hips moved on their own, thrusting up as he unloaded, body shuddering. "Ohfuckohfuckohfuck!"

Chansung eagerly took Ryeowook 's offering, swallowing hungrily. Ryeowook was panting, catching his breath. Chansung sat up, looking at Ryeowook's flushed face.

"Wow." Ryeowook breathed.

"Like you've never gotten head before." Chansung laughed.

"Doesn't matter." Ryeowook looked away, embarrassed. "That was amazing."

"Did you watch the whole time?"

"Yeah."

"And?" Chansung touched the back of Ryeowook's hand.

"It was hot. I can't believe you did that."

"I've been wanting to do that. Every single fucking diaper change, I've been wanting to do that."

Ryeowook felt warm. "Seriously?"

"Very." Chansung confirmed. "Does that make you uncomfortable?"

"Maybe a little." Ryeowook admitted. "But even after I knew you liked me, I still talked you into changing me, so I guess it didn't bother me. And now, well now I think it's hot that you want me."

Chansung shifted in the narrow bed, lying beside his friend. Ryeowook couldn't help but stare at the solid, thick, wet cock standing at attention. Chansung noticed the stare and took Ryeowook's hand, guiding it. Ryeowook, somewhat clumsily, stroked. Chansung let out a low growl of satisfaction. 

"D-do you want me to...try...uhm...doing that for you, too?" Ryeowook was nervous.

"Do I want you to give me head?" Chansung raised an eyebrow. "Uh, fuck yes. But if you're not ready for that, it's okay." Chansung wished he was selfish enough to tell Ryeowook that if he was going to have a boyfriend, he sure as heck better suck his dick from time to time. But he was afraid that Ryeowook would balk at that and the relationship would end right now. 

Ryeowook moved so that he could better access Chansung's member. He tried to imitate what he'd seen of blow jobs. He held the base with one hand and licked all over. Chansung immediately turned into an asthmatic, making noises that Ryeowook wasn't sure were possible for a healthy man, but thrilled that he was the one causing Chansung to lose himself in ecstasy. 

Encouraged, Ryeowook tentatively took the head of Chansung's cock into his mouth. The precum didn't really have a taste, though Chansung's flesh did. He closed his eyes and took more of it into his mouth. 

Chansung was staring, open mouthed and wide eyed, at the sight he'd only seen in his masturbatory fantasies. No, he'd never even dared to imagine Ryeowook would put his dick in his mouth. This was more than a dream come true. Chansung brushed Ryeowook's bangs aside, causing the other man to glance up at him. When Ryeowook saw the look on Chansung's face, he blushed. 

"You're doing great, babe." Chansung breathed. 

Ryeowook closed his eyes again and started to move his mouth up and down Chansung's solid member--not all the way as Chansung had done for him. He wasn't that skilled yet. However, this seemed to be enough for Chansung's pleasure, as the man was back to gasping and moaning. 

Chansung watched Ryeowook bob up and down, getting closer and closer to release. He imagined what it would be like to slide his hardness into Ryeowook's tight ass. He imagined picking Ryeowook up and pressing him to the wall as they fucked. Fuck. He wanted that.

And the thoughts were too much, for Chansung felt his impending orgasm. He knew it would be nice of him to warn Ryeowook but he was tempted not to.

"Wook, I'm gonna cum." Chansung managed.

Ryeowook kept going. Chansung repeated his warning. Ryeowook didn't back off. Chansung threw his head back and let out a growl as he came hard into Ryeowook's warm, wet mouth. Ryeowook was a bit surprised at the volume of liquid, but managed to swallow it all without gagging or choking. He sat up and looked at his lover.

Chansung was sweating lightly, his bare chest rising and falling as he steadied his breathing. He met Ryeowook's gaze and a grin broke out. Chansung looked like the happiest man alive. 

"I didn't think you'd do that." Chansung admitted.

"It wouldn't be fair if I didn't." Ryeowook reasoned.

"You're silly." Chansung chuckled. "Do you want a diaper, now?"

"No. I want to sleep naked with you." Ryeowook pulled his shirt off.

"Lucky me."


	34. thirty-four

Chansung woke first, stretching and yawning before rolling onto his side to look at his boyfriend. He couldn't help the goofy grin that broke out on his face at that thought. Ryeowook was his boyfriend.

"Your face will freeze like that." Ryeowook murmured sleepily.

Chansung laughed.

"Get up." Chansung said. "I'll make breakfast for you."

Ryeowook yawned and rubbed his eyes. "I don't eat breakfast. You know that."

"Daddy says you do now."

Ryeowook gazed at him for a moment before speaking, choosing his words carefully.

"Chansung, I don't want to play that right now."

Chansung flushed, embarrassed, and looked away. Ryeowook gently took hold of his lover's face.

"Look at me." Ryeowook urged.

"I'm sorry." Chansung started. "I didn't know--"

"Of course you didn't. How would you?" Ryeowook planted a tender kiss on Chansung's frown. "We'll figure this out together, okay?"

Chansung returned the kiss. "Okay."

Silence settled over them for a minute. Ryeowook found Chansung's hand and held it.

"So, you don't want to play that way unless you call me daddy first." 

"Uhm." Ryeowook cleared his throat. "I wish it was that simple, Chansung. I'm sorry."

Chansung raised an eyebrow. "What?"

"I mean...I don't know...I've never done this before, either. "

"I'm so confused, Wook!" Chansung blurted.

"I'm sorry!" Ryewook flustered. He couldn't find the words to express himself.

"This won't do, Wookie." Chansung sat up abruptly and got out of bed.

Ryeowook stared, eyes wide with fear. How mad was Chansung? Was this the end already? He just couldn't find his words to convey when he wanted to play-- Ryeowook's thoughts were interrupted when Chansung pulled him from bed and steered him toward the corner of his bedroom.

"Wh-what?" Ryeowook stuttered as he was pushed into the corner.

"Nuh-uh." Chansung scolded. "You're in a time out until you can speak nicely to Daddy. I can't know what you want unless you tell me."

Ryeowook found himself pouting. "You're Daddy. You're supposed to figure it out."

Chansung put his hand over his lover's mouth, pacifier in his palm. Ryeowook took the pacifier between his lips, starting to feel a bit...conflicted. 

"Da--"

"Nuh-uh." Chansung tutted. "You're not talking when you're in a time out. When you're ready to talk, come sit on my lap."

Chansung got his phone and started playing, as he sat on the bed. Ryeowook watched him from the corner of his eye. He was feeling a little off kilter because he didn't want to have a daddy all the time. He was still a grown man and wanted to continue being one. He wanted the diapers when he wanted them, not when anyone else dictated it. But, he couldn't really figure out a pattern to when those times were. And yet, at the same time, he was feeling a little turned on and safe. Chansung was being firm but gentle, even though he'd gone Daddy mode on Ryeowook when Ryeowook said he didn't want to play that way. Despite this situation feeling good, it also caused worry to creep up. What if Chansung used this to try to control his boyfriend? Ryeowook didn't want to be a submissive person in their relationship, just in bed--or in diapers, as it were. 

Ryeowook walked from the corner to stand before his lover. Chansung looked up from his phone.

"Well?"

Ryeowook sat on Chansung's lap and hugged him. Chansung held him, pressing a kiss to his cheek.

"I don't want you to tell me what to do all the time." Ryeowook started with a careful tone. "I like when you are dominant when it's time to be Daddy, but that's the only time. I'm not lesser. I'm not weaker than you."

"Ryeowook, I know--"

"Please let me finish. Okay?"

Chansung nodded, taking the pacifier from Ryeowook's fingers and putting it into his own mouth. Ryeowook couldn't help the laugh that bubbled up. Chansung grinned.

"I don't want that part of our dynamic together define our entire relationship." Ryeowook continued.

Chansung nodded his agreement.

"I'm sorry that I don't know exactly when I do and don't want to wear diapers or be little. I've not had the chance to do it freely before, so I'm not sure when those times will be. If I figure it out, I promise I'll let you know right away. I know it's frustrating, but please be patient. Your idea that I can let you know when I want it by calling you daddy is a good one. Unfortunately, I'm selfishly unwilling to limit things to that. Like, just now," Ryeowook blushed. "I didn't want to play that way but after you did anyway...well...I liked it. It felt safe and kinda sexy. And that makes things all the more confusing and frustrating for you."

Chansung gazed at Ryeowook and bumped the pacifier, held firmly in his mouth, against Ryeowook's lips as if it were a kiss. Ryeowook laughed again before he removed the pacifier.

"We have our safe words, babe." Chansung spoke. "If I try to be Daddy and you really don't want it, use our safe word. I'll know right away and there will be no confusion. Right?"

Ryeowook hugged his boyfriend tight. "I love you, Chansung."

Chansung felt warm. Ryeowook loved him. He returned the hug.

"I love you, Ryeowook."

Ryeowook pulled back and tenderly kissed Chansung. Chansung gazed at Ryeowook for a moment after the kiss.

"So, you want butterflies or Spider Man, today?"


	35. thirty-five

"Spider Man. Those other ones are for girls." Ryeowook scoffed.

"They are for anyone who likes them." Chansung corrected. "Or for my baby when he's naughty."

Chansung held the underwear out and Ryeowook stepped into them. Chansung pulled them up and gave his boyfriend a quick kiss. He was still floating with elation over the whole situation. Ryeowook was also. 

"The roommates are at work." Ryeowook informed. "But I'd still like some pants. Please."

"Of course." Chansung helped Ryeowook into a pair of jeans. "Plans for today?"

They walked out of the bedroom together, to the kitchen to find some food.

"Besides work this afternoon? Nothing." Ryeowook answered. "You?"

"I need to go home and get my work clothes."

Ryeowook found some cereal and bowls. Chansung found the milk and spoons. They ate in silence.

"Chansung..."

"Something wrong?" 

Ryeowook chewed on his lip.

"Go ahead." Chansung encouraged. "Tell me."

"I...later today..."

Chansung planted a kiss on Ryeowook. "I want to be with you all the time, too."

Ryeowook rinsed his now empty bowl. 

"Are we moving too fast?" Ryeowook wondered out loud.

"You mean if we weren't life long friends, neighbors, and in love with each other?"

"When you say it like that..." Ryeowook rolled his eyes.

"Wook." Chansung kissed his best friend again. This time, it was deep and deliberate. 

Ryeowook leaned into the taller man, tilting his head to further engage in the intamacy. Eventually, Chansung pulled back, resting his forehead on his lover's. 

"I told you before that I was worried you were going to decide you can't be with a man after all. What you told me then--I believed you, Wook. You said it made sense but that you never realized it before--that you wanted to always be with me and that you loved me. I never imagined my life without you in it. Isn't it the same for you?"

Ryeowook felt the assurance wash over him, chasing all doubt away. Chansung was right. They weren't moving too fast. They were moving to the next logical step of their deep relationship. 

Ryeowook slipped a hand up to the back of Chansung's neck and pulled him down to pour his relief into an aggressive kiss.

"You have to leave soon, don't you?" Ryeowook asked.

"Yeah. We slept late. See you after work tonight?" Chansung grabbed a handful of his boyfriend's ass.

"Mmm. Please. Your place or mine?" Ryeowook slid a hand into Chansung's hair.

"Where will we have more privacy?" 

"In our own place."

Chansung pulled back and stared at his lover. Ryeowook blushed.

"I mean, you know, in general--" Ryeowook stammered.

"I would love to live with you."

"You would?" Ryeowook started to imagine the possibilities.

"Fuck, yes." Chansung was also. "Waking up together every morning; making love whenever we want to; making you wander around the place in just a diaper so I know when you need a change..."

"Fuck." Ryeowook groaned. 

"Your bottles in the sink." Chansung was on a roll. "Your pacifiers scattered around the place. Anytime I want to, I can just reach over and see how wet your diaper is. Any time you want one, you can ask Daddy to change your diaper."

Ryeowook trembled, subconsciously rutting against his boyfriend. His dick was throbbing against the light padding. 

"I want it." Chansung continued, voice lilting as he got more excited. "I want it so bad. I want a place where we don't have to worry about hiding anything from anyone else. You're not going to be allowed to wear pants at home. I want you to walk in the door and say, 'Daddy! I'm home!' and give me a kiss. I want to fuck you on every available surface."

"Fuck!" Ryeowook was basically humping Chansung like a horny dog. Chansung was encouraging it with a firm grip on his ass, pulling him closer. He wanted all of that, too.

Ryeowook latched onto Chansung's neck as the larger man lifted him. Ryeowook clenched his thighs against Chansung, thrusting. Chansung moaned, hands kneading Ryeowook's ass when he wasn't moving his own hips. 

"Fuck you're so hot, Wook!" Chansung groaned out, not caring one bit that he was about to cum in his pants like a boy going thru puberty.

"Chansung!" Ryeowook gasped. 

Chansung's arms wrapped around Ryeowook's torso, crushing him closer, biting and sucking at his neck and shoulders. 

"Oh, fuck!" Ryeowook couldn't get enough friction. 

Then, Chansung reached down and groped Ryeowook's crotch. Ryeowook let out a long cry of desperation and released into his pull-up with a full body shudder. Chansung put Ryeowook on his feet and pulled his pants down just a bit. He released his own cock and pulled the waist band of the pull-up from Ryeowook's skin. 

Ryeowook, still recovering from his own orgasm, didn't realize what Chansung was doing until Chansung's semen shot into the pull-up. Ryeowook gaped at Chansung. 

"Fucking hot." Chansung grinned at him and pulled Ryeowook's pants back up. "And you're going to wear that all day."

Ryeowook flushed. 

He thought for sure Chansung was going to think him a freak for liking diapers. But, instead, Chansung seemed to be some sort of expert on diaper play. 


	36. thirty-six

After the guys washed their dishes and put away the cereal, they cuddled on the couch and watched TV. Ryeowook asked permission each time he needed to use the toilet. Chansung praised him up and rewarded him with a kiss every time. It made Ryeowook turn red and yet, also turned him on. He loved it.

"I have to get going now." Chansung said eventually. "I need to get my work clothes before I head in."

"I want to start looking for a place of our own." Ryeowook blurted.

"I would love that." Chansung grinned. 

"See you after work, then." Ryeowook hugged his boyfriend. "Actually, my parents are gone for the weekend. We should hang out there tonight."

"That wouldn't be a problem?"

"No."

 "Okay. I'll meet you there, then." Chansung grabbed his lover's ass. "When I get back tonight, you're going to pee on Spiderman."

Ryeowook blushed again. They shared another kiss before Ryeowook reluctantly parted with his handsome lover.

Ryeowook's mind was on his underwear all shift long. The cum had long since dried and caused his skin to pull a bit. But the discomfort was archly outweighed by the memory of how the bodily fluids got there. By the time Ryeowook's shift was over, he was more than ready to play.

Ryeowook spent the drive imagining what might transpire upon Chansung's arrival tonight. Ryeowook parked at his parents' house and let himself into the dark abode. He promptly spent several minutes making sure every window covering was closed, keeping all activities away from prying eyes. Though, he knew it was silly to think any prying eyes would be around tonight. Nonetheless, he made sure it wasn't an option for anyone. As soon as that was finished, he stepped out of his pants. 

Ryeowook quickly drank down some water and then settled onto the couch to watch some TV while he waited for his boyfriend. It didn't take long for the beverages he'd had earlier that afternoon to make themselves ready to be expelled. Ryeowook stood, fearful of the garment leaking onto the couch, before urinating. He let out a sigh of happiness as the padding soaked the hot liquid up. Fuck, that would never get old. Ryeowook went back to the couch to wait some more.

Chansung was buzzing with excitement as he parked his car behind Ryeowook's and got out. He stood at the door, bouncing on his heels and knocked. A moment later, the door opened. He stared for a second before speaking, for his lover was there in a swollen pull-up and a shirt.

"Hey, baby." Chansung stepped in and toed off his shoes before closing the door behind him. "I see you couldn't hold it for Daddy."

Ryeowook landed a kiss on the taller man's neck. "You said I was sposed to pee on Spidey."

Chansung grinned. He loved all of Ryeowook and this was no exception. The innocent acting boy in front of him was a lovely treat.

"I said," Chansung reminded. "that when I got back, you were to pee on Spiderman. You didn't wait for Daddy."

Ryeowook looked completely unaffected. "I peed. I'm a good boy."

Chansung laughed and swept Ryeowook into a hug. The two of them spent a relaxing moment in each other's embrace before Chansung spoke again.

"You want to be my baby boy all night?"

Ryeowook looked up at his handsome lover. "Not sure, yet. I mean, I think it sounds like a stellar idea right now, but I may change my mind later."

"Fair enough. Just tell me when you want to stop."

"Of course." Ryeowook smiled. He still couldn't believe Chansung was okay with all of this--not just okay but an eager participant. "Are you hungry?"

"Ate on the way here. You?"

"Same thing."

"Have everything we need here to play?"

Ryeowook nodded at a bag by the couch. 

"Since you got started without me, I'm surprised you don't have a pacifier." Chansung commented before pecking Wook's lips.

"Wanted Daddy to do it." Ryeowook was back to being Chansung's baby boy.

"Okay, sweetie." Chansung chuckled. "Daddy will do it. Daddy will do a whole lot of other things, too."

Ryeowook giggled and started squirming.

"Baby boy feeling restless?"

"Gotta peepee, Daddy." Ryeowook whined.

"Okay, sweetheart." Chansung took Ryeowook's hand and led him to the bathroom. He turned on the light, lifted the lid and seat, and waited. 

Ryeowook looked at him, unimpressed. Chansung managed not to grin at him.

"You need Daddy to pull your underwear down?"

Ryeowook pouted.

"These are wet anyway. I'll just take them off." Chansung said as he ripped the sides and took the garment away. 

Ryeowook still didn't move. 

"Here," Chansung put the seat back down. "Maybe it will be easier if you sit."

"Don't wanna." Ryeowook was annoyed.

"Use the potty, Wookie." Chansung encouraged. He managed to get Ryeowook to sit. 

Ryeowook sent his boyfriend an aggravated look, unable to accept that Daddy was being this obtuse. 

"Can't go, sweetie?" Chansung asked innocently.

"No." Ryeowook snapped. 

"You said you had to go."

"Don't hafta go anymore." Ryeowook grumped.

Chansung turned his head to hide a silent laugh. 

"Okay, baby. Let's get you dressed."

Ryeowook, happy to finally get what he wanted, followed the other man to the living room. Chansung picked up the other's abandoned pants and handed them over. Ryeowook raised an eyebrow at the action.

"Get dressed." Chansung urged.

Ryeowook folded his arms.

"What's wrong?" Chansung could play innocent just as well as his boyfriend.

"What if I have an accident, Daddy?" 

Chansung pulled Ryeowook to him, holding him tight to his chest as his lips found the other man's ears.

"Tell me," Chansung said huskily. "Tell me you want to wear a diaper."

Ryeowook shivered and blushed. This wasn't Daddy Chansung. This was sexy as fuck Chansung teasing Ryeowook, pushing him. 

"Say it." Chansung continued. "Tell me that you want to wear a diaper cause you like it."

Ryeowook whimpered this time. This was hot and felt so wrong. "Please..."

"Say. It."

Ryeowook grabbed a Chansung's head and kissed him hard. When he pulled back, he said the words.

"Please diaper me, Chansung. I want it so bad. I need it. Fuck. I like wearing diapers."

Chansung rewarded Ryeowook with another kiss. 


	37. thirty-seven

Ryeowook watched Chansung retrieve a diaper and powder from the bag. He shivered at the sound of the plastic as Chansung unfolded the diaper. 

"Come here, baby." Chansung patted the floor and laid the diaper out. 

Ryeowook was breathing hard as he sat and then leaned back, watching Chansung again. Chansung loved it--the sight of his sexy lover laid out before him, semi-hard cock awaiting the padded enclosure. Instead of pulling the front of the diaper into place, Chansung took hold of Ryeowook's genitals.

"mmm. Look at my sexy baby waiting for his diaper." Chansung observed aloud in a gravelly voice. 

Ryeowook moaned.

"Does baby want to cum?" Chansung teased, gently massaging Ryeowook's sensitive balls.

"Yesss." Ryeowook hissed. "Please, Chansung."

"Who?"

"Please, Daddy! Please let me cum!" He blurted.

Chansung let go of Ryeowook and undid his own pants, freeing his rapidly hardening member. Their eyes locked for a moment as Chansung pulled on his cock. Chansung ended the moment by leaning down to lick the head of Ryeowook's dick. 

"Oh fuck!"

Chansung slowly took it into his mouth, tongue pressed against the shaft. 

"Daddy!"

Chansung kept stroking himself as he bobbed up and down. 

"Please, Daddy! Please!" 

Every call of Daddy made Chansung harder and more eager to suck on his mouthful of Ryeowook. Ryeowook was soon a writhing, whimpering mess. Chansung pulled back and paid attention to his own throbbing need. When Ryeowook realized Chansung was jacking off over him, he reached down for his own erection.

"No." Chansung commanded. "Wait here. Don't touch it."

Ryeowook, confused but obedient, watched Chansung leave the room. Quickly, Chansung was back, straddling his lover and pinning his hands over his head. Ryeowook thought only a diaper could make him feel that surge of desire, but as Chansung tied his wrists together, Ryeowook was drowning under a wave of erogenous pleasure.

"Keep your hands up there." Chansung warned as he slid down, licking at Ryeowook's leaking cock.

Ryeowook groaned, back arching off the floor. Chansung could command anything of Ryeowook and he'd do it right now. He was thoroughly drunk on lust.

Chansung sat up, jerking his own penis, drinking up his boyfriend's nearly palatable level of sexual need. He let himself imagine fucking Ryeowook. There would be time for making love, but right now he was focused on the sensation of finally driving himself home in Wook's perfect ass. 

"Oh fuck! Please!" Ryeowook cried brokenly, his dick twitching.

Chansung grunted, aiming his semen at Ryeowook's diaper. Panting, Chansung immediately pulled the garment up, pressing his warm spunk to Ryeowook's starving erection. Ryeowook sobbed, body jerking up, fighting his instinct to put his hands on himself to find relief.

Chansung taped the diaper shut, ignoring Ryeowook's supplicating. As soon as it was closed, Chansung rubbed the front of the garment. 

"Don't worry. You'll get to cum, too." Chansung assured his lover, continuing to stroke Ryeowook thru the padding. 

Ryeowook was beyond words, instead uttering broken sounds as he writhed on the floor, obediently keeping his bound wrists above his head. When he reached his orgasm, it engulfed his entire being, leaving him screaming and then limp and panting. 

Chansung waited a moment for Ryeowook to come back into himself, but it was taking too long. Ryeowook was lying there before him, eyes staring at the ceiling, completely boneless.

"Ryeowook." Chansung patted his leg. 

Ryeowook whimpered.

"Wook, are you okay?" Chansung pulled his lover onto his lap, holding him close, running a reassuring hand up and down his arm. 

Ryeowook rested his damp forehead on his boyfriend's muscular shoulder, eyes closed. 

"Sleepy." Ryeowook managed with great difficulty. 

"Ryeowook." Chansung was worried. "Look at me."

Ryeowook grumbled in protest and snuggled closer. Chansung worried that he'd pushed Ryeowook too far. He thought his friend was completely healed, but maybe he wasn't?

"Wookie, babe." Chansung held his best friend's face in his hands. "Look at me, please."

Ryeowook finally did so. "What?"

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah." Ryeowook felt himself slipping out of his state of euphoria and back into reality. "I had a...a moment."

Chansung tilted his head. 

"I came so hard, I got lost there for a bit." Ryeowook grinned, answering the unspoken question.

"Shit. I was worried." Chansung breathed in relief. "I didn't know I was just too good at making you cum."

Ryeowook laughed and bit Chansung's shoulder. Chansung laughed with him. 

"This is getting uncomfortable." Chansung said, dragging Ryeowook onto the couch with him. 

"Aren't you going to untie me?" Ryeowook lifted his hands.

"Nope." Chansung smiled. 

Ryeowook raised an eyebrow. "Oh really?"

"Mhm." Chansung cuddled his lover and turned the TV on. 

After a few minutes of silence, Ryeowook spoke softly.

"It felt different this time."

Chansung glanced at him. "What did?"

"Wearing the diaper." Ryeowook still blushed when he said the word. "I didn't feel like your baby boy. I felt more like you were...what's the word? My dom?"

"Is that a good or bad thing?" Chansung enquired.

"I liked it. I guess sometimes I want to be your baby boy and sometimes I want diapers for a different reason."

"Punishment?"

"Something like that. I liked you telling me what to do. I knew you were only going to make me feel good. The diaper was part of that control you had over me. It wasn't about you taking care of me--I mean, you were taking care of me sexually and that's all. I feel like I'm even more of a freak."

"If you are, then being a freak is fucking awesome." Chansung kissed Ryeowook. "Who says you have to always want diapers for the same purpose? This is our thing to enjoy together. We can enjoy it how ever the fuck we want. It doesn't have to make sense to anyone else."

"Chansung." Ryeowook was staring at him. "I love you, so very much."


	38. thirty-eight

Ryeowook woke when Chansung sneezed. He was suprised that he'd fallen asleep. He hadn't felt tired. He was also surprised to find that his wrists were still bound. 

"Welcome back, sleeping beauty." Chansung teased.

Ryeowook sat up and stretched. "How long is this going to stay on?"

Chansung kissed his boyfriend's cheek. "Until I untie it."

Ryeowook shivered. Fuck, that was hot. He stood and made his way to the kitchen. He opened a cupboard and successfully retrieved a cup. He was even able to open the fridge and take out a pitcher of water. However, pouring it into the cup proved to be a little too difficut with his wristst bound. The cup tipped over and fell to the floor. Water was on the counter and floor.

"Chansung!" Ryeowook snapped, frustrated.

"What did you just call me?" Chansung was leaning against the wall. He had been there since Ryeowook entered the room, unknown to Ryeowook.

Ryeowook pouted--honest to goodness pouted like a petulant toddler. Just to add to his protest at Chansung not getting the water for him, but just standing there watching him struggle and eventually spilling the water--just to add to that, Ryeowook urinated in his diaper. Chansung smiled as he waited, unaware of what his lover was doing, other than pouting.

"Daaddeee." Ryeowook overenunciated "I'm thirsty but..." He lifted his hands.

Chansung's smile never faultered. "Did you want something from Daddy? Use your words, sweetheart."

"I'm thirsty!" Ryeowook stomped his foot.

Chansung had to fight to keep from squealing in delight at how cute his boyfriend was being.

"Hello, thirsty. I'm Daddy."

"Not funny!" Ryeowook glared. "Daddy, please help me."

"Of course! Help you what?"

"You can see." Ryeowook gestured at the water and cup on the floor.

"Do you need to say one of our safe words?" 

"No. This is just frustrating, Chansung."

Chansung walked across the room and hugged his boyfriend. "Sorry. Was just being playful. You're so damned cute like this."

Ryeowook blushed.

"Do you want me to untie you?" Chansung offered.

"Does me being tied like this turn you on?"

"Hmm. Yes. How does it feel for you?"

"I like it. Why did you leave me like this, though?" Ryeowook lifted his wrists.

"I wanted you to need my help."

"You're impossible." Ryeowook laughed and playfully hit Chansung with his fists. "Untie me."

Chansung did so.

"Daddy, I'm thirsty but I spilled the water. Will you help me? Please, Daddy?"

Chansung kissed him. Fuck, he loved this man and he loved this game. He loved that they were figuring it out together. He loved that they could talk about what they did and didn't want even in the middle of playing.

Chansung found a towel and began soaking up the water.

"Ryeowook." He said as he worked.

"Yeah?" Ryeowook could sense his lover's serious tone.

"When you fantasized about wearing diapers, is this also what you thought about? I mean, what is it that you wanted? Just diapers? Or, did you want to be babied? Did you want to be controlled?"

"I wanted to be babied. But, it was confusing and I felt guilty because being in a diaper almost always turns me on. I didn't know that I liked you being in control until we did it."

"Does peeing in it get you aroused?"

"Sometimes, yeah. It's warm and naughty. I don't how to explain it...or any of this."

"What about pooping in one?"

"I don't know." Ryeowook asnwered honestly. "I've never tried. Is that--is it something you want me to try?"

"I don't know, either. I think maybe we should try?"

"If you want. I'll let you know next time I have to go."

"Okay. You want this water in a bottle or a cup?"

"Bottle."

Not much later, while Chansung and Ryeowook were playing cards, Chansung's phone rang. 

"It's your parents." Chansung handed the phone over.

"Hi! How was the show?"

"Amazing!" Ryeowook's mother gushed. "More importantly, how are you? You sound good!"

"I'm doing a lot better."

"No pain?"

"No."

"Have you followed up with the doctor?"

"Yes. I'm doing fine. I promise."

"I'm so happy to hear that!"

"You should be concentrating on enjoying your weekend." Ryeowook teased his mother. "Not worrying about your grown son."

"I'm such a talented mother that I can do both at the same time." She gave it right back, making him laugh. "I love you, dear. Bye now."

"Bye, Mom. Love you." Ryeowook ended the call and returned the phone. "Thanks."

"I love you." Chansung said suddenly, grin on his face.

"Okay. Any reason you announced it right now?"

"Seeing you happy and healthy makes me happy."

Ryeowook felt warm all over. This man was amazing--everything he'd wanted and needed in a partner. Well, except for the penis and lack of vagina and breasts.

"I love you, Chansung. You're amazing."

It was Chansung's turn to blush and look away.

"Our parents are going to notice." Ryewook said.

"That I'm amazing? They already have."

Ryeowook laughed.

"Should we tell them?" Chansung asked, wondering what their parents would say and think of the situation.

"They might be disappointed that they'll never have grand kids."

"Are you living in the 1800s? We can have kids. We can get married."

"You want to have kids with me?" Ryeowook stared.

"Only if you want to."

"You want to marry me?"

"I do."

They looked at each other for a moment before snickering at the word choice.

"Let's go get rings." Blurted Ryeowook.

"Ryeowook..." Chansung's smile and laughter were gone. "You're not gay, Ryeowook." He continued sadly. "You'll want to have sex with a woman again...fall in love...have kis with her--your biological kids. This...I was unfair to you--"

"You think I can't make those choices for myself?" Ryeowook challenged. "You think I don't know who I want to be with? Who I'm in love with? You think because I'm a diaper wearing freak taht I can't make desicions on my own?"

"No! No. I didn't mean that. I never think that, Ryeowook. Honest!"

"Then believe me, Chansung. Gay, straight, bisexual, pansexual--who the fuck cares about a fucking label? You are my best friend. If you would have confessed to me before I met Ga In--or anyone else I dated--I would have happily dated you. I just never thought of it. I figured I liked women exclusively. They are beautiful and attractive. But you...Chansung, you're something completely different. You're a part of me."

"To be perfectly honest..." Chansung was taken aback by Ryeowook's passionate words and decided the best thing to do was confess the doubts that had been on his mind. "I often think you think you love me because of your injury and because I accept you wearing diapers and using pacifiers and bottles."

"Do youwant to be with me just because I sucked your dick and let you suck mine?"

"No! I loved you before that!"

"It's the same for me. I loved you before that happneed. I loved you before the accident. I love you before you willinginly changed my diapers. I love you because you're Chansung--because you're my best friend. This isn't just about sex or just about diapers. This is about love and trust and being content. Damn it, Chansung, I love you like I've never loved anyone before. The sex and the diapers are involved and wonderfully fun because we love each other. I want to tell our parents and our friends. I want to marry you. If I have kids some day, I want to happen with you. I never wanted a life without you or with you so far away. When you told me how you felt about me--that it was sexual as well--it all fell into place. It suddenly made sense. I wanted you to not only be in my life, but to be by my side. I don't want you a phone call away. I don't want to be your neighbor. I want you right next to me. I just didn't know, Chansung. I didn't know those feelings and thoughts meant I was in love with you."

Chansung stared at Ryeowook. He couldn't find any words. He wasn't even thinking of words. All he had were emotions.

"Why are you crying?" Ryeowook asked carefully.

"Why are you?"

"I'm afraid you're going to push me away." Ryeowook confessed.

"I'm afraid you're going to leave me."

"I will prove this to you, Chansung. Every day, I will show you that I want you and nobody else. It doesn't matter anymore that the person I'm in love with happens to be in a male's body. I was foolish for not realizing that earlier. Even if you don't want to start marriage preparations now, let's go get our rings."

Chansung pulled Ryeowook to him. The kiss was tender, slow, and deliberate. The two melted together, tears mingling as the expression of their love continued.


	39. thirty-nine

Chansung and Ryeowook ended up at the mall, looking at cheap rings in jewelry counter display cases. 

"Can I help you?" She was older with hair in a neat bun and diamond earrings.

"Uhm.." Chansung faltered. How could he possibly tell this woman what they wanted.

"Yes." Ryeowook smiled at her. "We're looking for couples rings."

"Right over here." She indicated the end of the counter. 

"I like these." Ryeowook picked up a silver ring with a black band in the middle. On the inside of the ring was a heart. "What do you think?" He asked his boyfriend.

Chansung was blushing. Ryeowook almost started to laugh. Instead, he smiled.

"Uhm, how much does it cost?" Chansung asked after clearing his throat.

"Twenty-nine ninety-nine." The clerk answered. 

"Oh." Chansung had been expecting something much higher. But, he'd never looked at rings before. 

"Do you know the ring sizes of both parties?" The clerk inquired.

"No. Could you help us with that?" Ryeowook laid his left hand on the counter.

"Of course." The clerk reached under the counter for the ring sizer set. 

After finding Ryeowook's size, the clerk asked, "And your significant other?"

Ryeowook took hold of Chansung's wrist and set his hand on the counter. Chansung felt like running. The clerk didn't bat an eye, but found Chansung's size.

"You need to relax." Ryeowook told his boyfriend. "She's not going to judge us."

"Oh my goodness, no." The clerk chuckled. "Congratulations, both of you. You're in luck, in fact. We have those sizes in stock."

The clerk put both rings in a box and the box in a bag. She rang up their purchase and handed it over to Ryeowook.

"Thank you." Ryeowook smiled at her. "He's nervous."

"I could tell." She winked. "Young man, you don't need to worry." She spoke to Chansung. "Come back and see us for all your jewelry needs. We do not discriminate. When you encounter someone that does, it says more about them than it does about you."

"T-thank you." Chansung said, genuinely, touched by the woman's words. 

Ryeowook led Chansung to a bench in the middle of the mall, next to some very large potted plants. He removed the box from the bag and opened it. Chansung glanced around nervously.

"Afraid someone's going to run up and snatch our expensive jewelry?" Ryeowook teased as he removed Chansung's ring from the box. 

"Shut up." Chansung mumbled, embarrassed. 

Ryeowook took Chansung's left hand and slid the ring onto his pinkie finger. Chansung gazed at his best friend. He couldn't believe this was happening. Ryeowook leaned forward and landed a peck on Chansung's lips. Chansung startled and pulled back, looking around again. 

"Sorry." Ryeowook smiled. "I will ask first when we're in public."

Chansung was relieved that Ryeowook understood and wasn't mad at him. He took the box from Ryeowook and slipped the ring onto his boyfriend's finger. Chansung suddenly understood what a hundred watt smile was when Ryeowook reacted.

"I love you so much." Chansung couldn't help but say it.

"That's not going to keep me from kissing you in public." Ryeowook teased.

At Ryeowook's parents' house, Chansung was on Ryeowook the moment the door closed. He pushed his lover against the door, kissing him hard and deep. Ryeowook moaned into the kiss, hands on Chansung's ass.

"I want you." Ryeowook breathed, pushing his hips against his lover. "I want you so much, Chansung."

Chansung growled and lifted Ryeowook, mouthing at his neck hungrily. Ryeowook wrapped his arms and legs around the taller man.

"What the fuck?!" Came a woman's scream.

Chansung and Ryeowook fell over in shock. After untangling from each other, they scrambled to their feet.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" Ryeowook blurted at his ex girlfriend.

"This?!" Ga In gestured at Chansung. "This is why we broke up?!"

"How did you get in here?"

"Chansung!" Ga In ignored Ryeowook's demand. "You're a terrible human being! You're supposed to be his friend! You fucking used him!"

"No!" Ryeowook yelled at her. "No! Stop it! Get out!"

Ga In, sobbing, ran out the door. Chansung stared at Ryeowook. 

"I'm sorry, Chansung. I don't know how she--"

"Ryeowook." Chansung hugged his lover close. "It's okay. It's okay."

Chansung's phone rang. He let it go to voice mail. It rang again. He suspected he knew who was calling him. 

"Ryeowook." Chansung said softly. "I have to go talk to my parents. I think that's how Ga In got in here. She probably came to get her stuff back. "

Ryeowook pulled back just enough to look up at his boyfriend. 

"Let's go together."

"No." Chansung shook his head. "Ga In has no doubt told them that I took advantage of your injury."

"Like I would fall in love with you because of a concussion."

"It's not just that, Ryeowook. I need to talk to them."

"We're telling them together. We're telling them we're in love and have been for years. We're telling your parents it took my getting hurt to act on it."

"Ryeowook. We can't tell them that! Act on it? That makes it sound like we started having sex because of your accident!"

"We haven't had sex yet--"

"Ryeowook, please."

"No." Ryeowook wouldn't budge. "I'm going with you. You do the talking if you want, but I'm going with you."

Chansung sighed. This was going to be a highly unpleasant conversation.


	40. forty

Chansung opened the door to his parents' home. The scene was about what he expected. Ga In was red faced and crying. His mother had her phone to her ear, calling Chansung no doubt. His father was handing another tissue to Ryeowook's ex.

The scene froze for a moment as Chansung and Ryeowook entered holding hands for support. It wasn't an over the top example of physical contact, such as french kissing there in the middle of the living room, but considering what Ga In had just told the older couple, they took note.

"Chansung." His mother put her phone away. 

"Chansung." His father said. "Come talk with me."

Chansung didn't move right away.

"Ryeowook." His mother said. "Come sit with me."

Ryeowook squeezed Chansung's hand and let go. Chansung sighed and followed his father.

"How are you feeling?" Chansung's mother asked Ryeowook, searching his eyes. "What has the doctor said?"

"That I'm fine.  I'm back to work and everything." Ryeowook assured her. "I need to be careful of bumping my head." He shot a glare at Ga In. 

"I'm glad to hear that, dear." Chansung's mother was genuine. She was a kind woman and Ryeowook considered her a second mother. "Has Chansung been helpful?"

Ryeowook looked at her for a long moment.

"Mom," He said carefully, "I think you should just ask what's really on your mind. I know you're trying to be nice and all...but, I think we should just talk about what you're really thinking."

She patted the younger man's knee.

"Yes, Chansung and I are in a relationship." Ryeowook told her. "We weren't going to tell you until Mom and Dad got back from their weekend away. It's completely unreasonable that Ga In told you first."

"I'm worried about you!" Ga In cried.

"I know." Ryeowook told her. "I know you. I know you're not over here trying to break Chansung and I up or upset my parents or be cruel to me. But, Ga In, you are doing those things. "

"Ryeowook!" Ga In tried again. "Chansung wasn't taking good care of you! He was coddling you and trying to turn you into what he wanted! He wasn't letting you recover so you could get back to your regular, normal, healthy self!"

"What if I'm not normal?" Ryeowook shot at her. He knew Ga In had good intentions but she'd successfully outed him as in a homosexual relationship and a diaper lover. It angered him greatly.

"You were! The accident and Chansung--"

"Are things that allowed me to be who I really am!" He hated admitting it in front of Chansung's mother. He hated admitting it in front of anyone but Chansung. It was embarrassing--mortifying--but he had to address it or Chansung's parents might believe he had forced Ryeowook into something depraved.

"No, Ryeowook." Ga In pleaded. "It's who Chansung wants you to be."

Ryeowook sighed. "Ga In, I know you believe that. But it's just not true. I can't convince you of that, obviously. You just need to accept that we're not together anymore. You need to go. And for fucks sake, don't call my parents. Let them enjoy their weekend."

Ga In nodded, heartbroken yet again, and rushed out without another word. Ryeowook looked at Chansung's mom.

"She said you changed after the accident." 

"Not in the way she believes."

In another room, Chansung's father was asking him questions.

"Are you and Ryeowook dating, now? His ex is under the impression that he left her because you convinced him to be with you, instead. She says he was confused due to his concussion and you took advantage of that."

"No!" Chansung blurted angrily. His father's tone wasn't accusatory at all, but he could just imagine what Ga In sounded like telling his parents all these things. "Yes, he's my boyfriend but he wasn't confused about it!"

"Are you sure, Chansung? He was pretty out of it after the accident."

Chansung sighed. He couldn't confess that Ryeowook had been acting for part of that time. 

"He kissed me first, okay?" Was what he ended up confessing. "He said he wanted to date me."

"After you put the idea in his head?"

"Dad! It's not like he woke up after the accident and I immediately started telling him to break up with his girlfriend! I never did anything like that! "

"Not on purpose, Chansung. You're not like that. You wouldn't purposely try to break your best friend up with his girlfriend."

"So I accidentally told Ryeowook to leave Ga In for me?" Chansung scoffed. "Do you realize how ridiculous that sounds?"

"Chansung." His father put a hand on his shoulder. "Ryeowook already knew you were gay, right? And then you started taking care of him so well and the diaper changes are a rather intimate situation. Despite your intentions, he may have gotten the wrong idea."

Chansung stared at his father. "What?"

"If Ryeowook already knew you were gay--"

"Nobody knew!"

"Chansung." His father said incredulously. "It couldn't have gotten any more obvious unless you wore it on a t-shirt. The idea had already ocurred to us that you and Ryeowook were boyfriends, but we weren't sure."

"We? Does that mean his parents suspect it, too?"

His father nodded. After a moment, Chansung spoke.

"Are they upset about it?"

"No. None of us are upset about you and Ryeowook being together. The issue for your mother and I is whether you inadvertently pressured Ryeowook to break up with Ga In to be with you. I don't even know where to start with the other stuff."

"Other stuff?"

"Ga In says Ryeowook was using baby bottles and pacifiers because you wanted him to. She says you made him use diapers."

"I didn't make him do anything!" Chansung blurted angrily without thinking of what his statement told his dad about Ryeowook. 

"Is he completely healed now?"

"Mostly."

Chansung's father raised an eyebrow. Chansung sighed. 

"Yes, he's completely healed now." Chansung didn't want to admit to Ryeowook's secret desires. That was Ryeowook's business and he knew his boyfriend was embarrased about it. "I...I need to get back to Ryeowook."

 

"Do you already know what she told us?" Chansung's mom asked Ryeowook.

"I suspect I do." Ryeowook blushed. 

"I don't know her, so I don't know if she was telling the truth or lying the entire time. Is there anything you need help with? Is Chansung pressuring you to do anything you're not comfortable with?"

"No!" He wasn't angry with her for asking. She was just trying to make sure he was okay, even if it was her own son that was harming him. "I promise you. Everything is consensual. Your son is amazing."

"I think I understand, then. You never told Ga In about the things you wanted. You told Chansung."

Ryeowook blushed and nodded.

"And this isn't something you wanted only after the accident?"

"Do we have to talk about this?" He lamented.

"No, dear. But I do want to say we won't tell your parents about the diapers and what not." 

Ryeowook groaned in embarrassment, though he was grateful.

"I'm sure it just makes you more adorable, though." 

Ryeowook couldn't believe she had just said that!

They looked up when Chansung entered the room, followed by his father. Ryeowook stood as Chansung approached. 

"It's okay. It's all okay." Chansung told Ryeowook as he hugged him close. 

"I kinda figured that out." Ryeowook scolded.

From the couch, Chansung's mother chuckled. 

"Okay, you two." Chansung's father said. "You're welcome to stay here or get back to what you were doing."

Chansung sputtered, knowing that Ga In had told his parents exactly what they were doing! His parents just laughed at him.


	41. forty-one

"I'm exhausted." Ryeowook said as they stepped into his parents' house. 

"Me, too. That was one of the most awkward conversations I've ever had with Dad." Chansung shuddered. "He said he figured I was gay a while ago. How the fuck?"

They made their way to Ryeowook's bedroom. Chansung pulled the covers down and took his jeans off. 

"Because you were dating that dude, Junho?"

"They didn't know that!" Chansung insisted. "What sort of gay vibes do I give off? I thought I was manly."

Ryeowook laughed so hard that he fell onto the bed. Chansung glared at him. Ryeowook eventually stopped and smiled up at him.

"You are manly. You're also gay. Quit being difficult."

Chansung hit him with a pillow. 

"I'm serious! I'm not attracted to other men, just you!"

"That's because I'm fucking amazing. If there were other men as amazing as me, you'd be attracted to them. But, alas, there are only men like Junho."

Chansung tried glaring at him but ended up laughing until tears leaked from his eyes. 

"Seriously, babe." Ryeowook said finally serious. "It's not an insult to your manhood. Maybe your parents just noticed that you didn't have an interest in girls."

"Yeah." Chansung gazed up at the ceiling. "He said that they and your parents suspected we were dating, before we even were."

"Huh." Ryeowook mulled that over. 

"He said everyone was okay with it." Chansung looked at his boyfriend. "Maybe that stupid bitch did us a favor."

"Chansung." Ryeowook frowned. "I'm mad at her, too, but try to see things from her view. She sincerely believes you talked me into all this. Apparently I come off as a weak minded fool to her, but she is sincere in her fear."

"She needs to mind her own business."

"Until recently, I was her business. But, yeah, she needs to never speak to our families again. That was way out of line. I fucking got outed as a diaper wearer. Ugh. So fucking embarrasing."

They lay there in silence for a moment.

"And then your mom..." Ryeowook's face heated at the memory. "She said she wouldn't tell my parents. But then she added that it probably made me more adorable." He groaned. 

Chansung sat up, staring at him. "What?! You're shitting me."

"I shit you not." Ryeowook kicked his feet. "Ugh! Awful! My boyfriend's mother thinks I'm adorable in a diaper! Kill me now!"

Chansung laughed and kissed Ryeowook. "She's not wrong."

"I hope they aren't all weird and awkward with us, now."

"Yeah." Chansung sighed. "They seemed okay. I hope it stays that way."

Chansung got up and turned the light off. 

"Aren't you forgetting something?" Ryeowook asked.

"Huh?" Chansung tilted his head questioningly.

"Daddy's being lazy. Not doing your job, Daddy."

"Oh? And what is Daddy's job?" Chansung advanced.

Ryeowook threw a pillow at him. Chansung laughed and caught it. 

"Just say it, silly. You're the one being difficult, now." Chansung teased.

"I'm never difficult."

Chansung tackled Ryeowook as the older man squealed and laughed. Chansung had his boyfriend pinned on the bed, wrists held above his head.

"I don't want sex. All I can think of is my parents next door." Chansung lamented. 

"No sex, babe. May I have a diaper, please?"

"Mmm. You asked so nicely." Chansung grinned. 

"I used my manners." Ryeowook teased. He watched Chansung's dark eyes as he put his thumb in his mouth. "And good boys get rewards, right?"

"Fuck. You're very tempting." Chansung moaned before leaving a lingering kiss on Ryeowook's neck. He pulled back with a groan and retrieved the diapering supplies. 

Chansung unbuttoned Ryeowook's jeans and tugged them and his underwear off. He tried to ignore his boyfriend's semi erect penis as he slid the diaper under him. Ryeowook tried to hide the jolt of pleasure when Chansung pulled the front of the diaper snug. Chansung taped the diaper shut and crawled into bed, pulling Ryeowook close.

"I'm sorry."

"What for?" Ryeowook asked, puzzled.

"You want sex and I don't."

"Pfft." Ryeowook chuckled and kissed his boyfriend. "I get it, babe. I shouldn't be horny right now. Not after your mother said I'm adorable in a daiper." Ryeowook shuddered.

Chansung laughed.

"Stop it." Ryeowook playfully slapped his boyfriend.

Chansung wrapped Ryeowook up in a loving hug. His hand trailed down and he patted his lover's diapered ass. Ryeowook snuggled closer, eyes closed as the sound of the plastic under Chansung's hand relaxed him.

"I love you." Chansung whispered.

Ryeowook was smiling as he fell asleep.

 

 

Chansung groaned as he awoke, hoping to fall asleep again.

"Chansung."

The named man opened his eyes immediately, concerned at Ryewook's tone.

"What's wrong?"

Ryeowook was standing by the bed, fully dressed and looking grim.

"My parents came back early. I found a note on the inside of my bedroom door. They want to talk to me, Chansung. I think they saw me!"

"Ryeowook--"

"Ga In must have told them--or your parents did. Damn that Ga In!"

"We'll do this together." Chansung assured him.

When the pair exited the bedroom, they found Ryeowook's parents in the living room. Ryeowook took a deep breath of courage.Knowing what Ga In must have told his parents coupled with he idea that they had likely seen him cuddling in bed with Chansung while wearing only a diaper he didn't need, left him with a nearly overwhelming urge to bolt from the house.

Good Morning? Hi? I'm sorry? You shouldn't have come back early? None of these came from his mouth.

"Chansung." It was Ryeowook's mother whom spoke. "We love you. Don't take this personally, but we'd like to talk to Ryeowook alone."

It was a nice way to say get out. Chansung didn't want to go against the people he considered a second set of parents but he didn't want to leave his boyfriend alone, either. He looked to Ryeowook.

"It'll be okay." Ryeowook's dad assured Chansung. "Ryeowook will go see you as soon as we're done here."

Ryeowook nodded, letting Chansung know he should go. Chansung sighed, reluctant to leave. He had promised Ryeowook they'd face this together.

"I'll see you in a little bit." Ryeowook told him.

Chansung sighed again, but left.


	42. forty-two

"I suppose Ga In talked to you about Chansung and I." Ryeowook sighed as he dropped into a chair.

"You know what she told us?" His Mom asked.

"Yeah."

They waited.

"Yes, it's true--other than the part where she imagines Chansung talked me into anything."

"You and Chansung are dating?" His father asked.

"Yes. His parents told us you already suspected as much."

His father nodded. 

"You broke up with Ga In to be with him? No wonder she's so upset, Ryeowook." His Mom said, disappointed.

"No. It wasn't like that. Honest. I knew he liked me, that's why I went to him after I broke up with her. But, I would have gone to him anyway. He's my best friend. I was hurting and lonely. I needed someone to talk to. Ga In is a wonderful woman but we're not meant to be together. I know she believes Chansung took advantage of me, but he really didn't."

"He may not have meant to--" His mother started.

"No. A concussion doesn't make a person able to be talked into going gay." Ryeowook scoffed. "Give me some credit."

"Have you tried to talk to her?"

"Of course!" Ryeowook ran a hand thru his hair, feeling a bit like pulling it instead. "I told her why I broke it off. She needs someone that isn't me and I understand. We should each be with the person that suits us best. It's not like I broke up with her over a text. "

"Ryeowook, it really looks like you broke up with her to be with Chansung." His father pointed out.

"I can't help if it looks that way! It wasn't going to work out with Ga In. I love him."

"Of course you do." His mom said. "He's your best friend. You've always been close. But that doesn't mean you want to marry him."

"In this case it does." Ryeowook insisted. "I'm in love with Chansung."

"Did he come onto you after the accident?" His father's tone was not happy.

"No!" Ryeowook was insulted on Chansung's behalf. "He was never inappropriate! He even encouraged me to work things out with Ga In, thinking I'd be happier with her! He didn't tell me he liked me that way until after we broke up. Hell, we haven't even had sex yet! I can't believe you think Chansung would do something like that to me."

"How do you know you can be with him--or any man?" His father wasn't dropping it.

"Do you hear yourself?" Ryeowook tried to keep his anger at bay. "I'm in love with Chansung. I don't care that he's a man! Sex isn't the most important thing here! "

"But it is a factor." His father insisted.

"Ugh." Ryeowook ran his hand over his face. "Pretty sure I'm not gonna find sex with him so repulsive that I'll break up with him. It's not like we haven't done anything."

"You told me you were fully recovered." His mom brought up the next topic of concern. 

Ryeowook waited for it.

"Are you still using diapers?"

Ryeowook blushed. He hated this part. Fucking Ga In and her meddling. 

"I don't want to talk about this."

"We need to." His mom insisted. "Are you still using diapers?"

"Yes." Ryeowook sighed, wishing he could sink into the chair.

"Because you need them?"

Ryeowook couldn't look at his parents. He studied his hands.

"No."

Silence covered them for a moment.

"Is Chansung making you wear them?" His father asked.

"No!" He met his father's gaze. "Never! Stop thinking the worst of him! He's not making me do anything!"

"You're doing it to keep him happy? Same thing." His father pointed out.

"This is so fucked up. No. He's doing it to keep me happy." Ryeowook wondered if he was going to start crying now. Spilling his dirtiest secret to his parents was the most horrible thing he'd ever done. It hurt so much. 

"You want to wear diapers?" His father asked, unbelieving that anyone would.

"Yes." Ryeowook breathed out, lungs threatening not to work. 

"And Chansung was okay with that? Didn't think it was strange at all?" His father still wasn't buying it.

"He didn't." Ryeowook did start crying. "He didn't tell me I was a freak. He didn't tell me I was sick or broken. He didn't tell me I was disgusting. He asked me questions and he talked to me about it."

"You broke up with Ga In because she didn't want you to wear diapers." His mother suddenly understood. "Oh, honey."

"No." Ryeowook wasn't sure he'd ever be able to explain it well enough. "It's just something I like. It's not the most important thing in my life. She didn't have to like it or even be around it. I can do it by myself. It's not that. It was me that she couldn't fully accept. And I get that. It's okay. That's why I broke up with her--so she could stop wasting her time with me and find the person she really wants."

"You're worth her time, honey." His mom insisted, not wanting her son to be down on himself. 

"Not if she wants something else. It's okay that she does. She's still a good person--other than outing me and Chansung to our parents."

"Have you tried any counseling?" His father asked.

"Couples therapy?"

"No. For your strange desire for diapers."

Ryeowook gaped at his father. Now his heart hurt as well as his lungs. "I-it's not strange. It's just...different. Lots of people do this."

"Lots of people commit suicide." His father countered.

"Dad! This is not the same as suicide!"

"You're right. I'm sorry." The older man said genuinely. "I should have chosen a better example. Smoking maybe. I don't know."

"It's not like that, either. I'm not hurting myself or anyone else."

"It just doesn't seem healthy." His father admitted. "It seems abnormal."

"If you didn't know about it, you would think I was normal. You'd only be wondering why I broke up with Ga In and got together with Chansung so quickly."

"Listen," His father sighed. "You're an adult and you don't even live here any more. Your life is your own. If being with Chansung is what you want, then you have our blessing. But this diaper thing." He shook his head. "We don't understand it and we don't think it's healthy. We think it's a symptom of something being wrong, though we're not sure what. Even if that's true, it's still your business. We won't bring it up again unless you do. We're always, always here for you, Ryeowook. We love you, son."

"Thank you." 

"However, this is our house." His father continued. "Chansung is always welcome, as are you. But there are not to be any diapers or anything related to that in this house. You can do that elsewhere. Do you understand?"


End file.
